Hosting sleepover - how to manage bed wetting friend

[Anonymous]

We are hosting our first sleepover for DD8 with her best friend coming over. I got a call from best friend's mom saying that her daughter wets the bed, and she will be fine if she wears something at night. She will send a couple of night pull ups, but wanted to let me know as her daughter might be too embarrassed to put them on and then feel worse by either trying to stay awake all night or actually wetting her pyjamas.

How do I manage it, I am not going to tell my DD but I guess are they obvious, is there some things I should do to make her feel better or comfortable? Do I talk to her to make sure she's not going to try and stay awake, or would that make her upset? DD was dry before 3, so I've not had to manage this for a long time?

This is her first sleepover either at her own house or someone else's and I have a really good relationship with her, she's so friendly and polite. I don't want her to be in tears and not wanting more sleepovers as I assume there's nothing she can do about it.

[Anonymous]

My son still wears pullups at night (he just turned nine). He hasn't done many sleepovers, but he brings pullups, and a bag to put them in. He just put the pull up on under the clothes he wore to bed, and he brought the bag to put it in in the morning (and then put it back in his bag). That way he didn't have to put it in the bathroom trash. He wets pretty infrequently at this point, so it wasn't all wet or anything.

I would double check with the mom that she can handle it all herself and then don't worry about it.

[Anonymous]

So many kids wear nighttime pull-ups these days it doesn’t have the social stigma it used to. Just try not to call it a diaper and they will be fine. I have babysat for boys had them up until the fifth grade and it’s not that uncommon.

[Anonymous]

I would make sure kids go into the bathrooms by themselves to change into pajamas, this way the person who needs a pullup can put it on in privacy. I would also put a waterproof mattress cover on all the beds and maybe just drop a hint that if anyone has an accident at night, it happens and the mattresses are protected. They can just tell you quietly if needed and you will help them with the sheets.

[Anonymous]

Kids will be having too much fun to care. You could even ask your daughter if she wouldn’t mind wearing one as well so her friend isn’t self conscious about it.

[Anonymous]

I would not have the kid for a sleepover. That's how I'd manage it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not have the kid for a sleepover. That's how I'd manage it.

I agree. It doesn't sound like this friend is ready for a sleepover.

[Anonymous]

I can’t believe the mother is putting this on you. Her child is not ready for a sleepover. These kids need to be able to handle their pull-up.

[Anonymous]

I would ask the other mom how she wants you to handle it if her daughter is not wearing it or if she appears to be staying up. Say you are happy to help and just want her daughter to feel comfortable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids will be having too much fun to care. You could even ask your daughter if she wouldn’t mind wearing one as well so her friend isn’t self conscious about it.

Asking a child who hasn’t worn a pull-up in years to wear one is absolutely insane.

Also, if I were the kid in pull-ups, having my friend’s mom say something to me would be mortifying.

If the girl is able to come and do her own thing, or if you’re able to do something to facilitate privacy in a way that doesn’t tip off you know, awesome. Or even do something that that make cleanup easier (mattress pad). But otherwise… maybe suggest a sleepunder and say you’re not comfortable.

[Anonymous]

I wet the bed for a long time when I was a kid, they didn’t have night time pull ups back then, but I remember being so embarrassed and wasn’t allowed to go to sleepovers for a long time.

I think it’s great you’re hosting this friend, and that you and the mom are close enough that she told you! I would separate the girls when it’s time to change into PJs, maybe send the friend to the bathroom or a guest room and casually mention the girls should put on fresh underwear if they want. I assume there’s a trash can in the bathroom, maybe put some extra trash bags under the sink and point it out to her. You should stay up until the girls are asleep, so if your daughter is asleep but her friend is still awake for a little while after, you can quietly ask her if she needs anything and see if she remembered her nighttime underwear.

[Anonymous]

Will your daughter's friend sleep on the floor with a sleeping bag? On a couch? On a bed? Answers can be different depending on..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wet the bed for a long time when I was a kid, they didn’t have night time pull ups back then, but I remember being so embarrassed and wasn’t allowed to go to sleepovers for a long time.

I think it’s great you’re hosting this friend, and that you and the mom are close enough that she told you! I would separate the girls when it’s time to change into PJs, maybe send the friend to the bathroom or a guest room and casually mention the girls should put on fresh underwear if they want. I assume there’s a trash can in the bathroom, maybe put some extra trash bags under the sink and point it out to her. You should stay up until the girls are asleep, so if your daughter is asleep but her friend is still awake for a little while after, you can quietly ask her if she needs anything and see if she remembered her nighttime underwear.

+1 and I think this is great advice. This is a minor issue and I don’t think it needs to stop the girls from having fun.

[Anonymous]

It is a problem only if you act secretive about it. Gently let the kid know that she will need to wear her pull ups before sleeping.

As for your own kid - tell her that your friend will need some accomodation and it is her personal matter not to be discussed.

[Anonymous]

If you do this put waterproof covers on all the beds under the sheet. Assume the kid won't have one on or it will leak. Have extra trash bags visible in bathroom.
Just enter room as soon as they get up and strip the beds.