Dating Culture at different colleges

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My freshman daughter is at a large state school and there is no dating or even hooking up going on that she knows of. She has a wonderful group of friends who are all pretty, social, etc and they go to darties, etc but no boys ever ask them out and they don't get drunk enough to hookup. There are more girls at these things so it's really hard to get the attention of any guys. You can't stand out. Then no one really talks before or after classes. Kids go in and then leave.

Some of her friends at LACs have had an easy time meeting guys and some have even been asked out. I would say it's much easier in that setting.

I think my daughter is ok with this now because she's investing in female friendship (which is going really well) but I can imagine it will get old with time. I know she would like to date at some point in college. I think she would be receptive to almost any invitation from a guy. She and friends are not holding out for the top 5% or anything like that.

My daughter is at a LAC and feels like it's similar. Not a great girl/guy ratio, and very little dating.

+1 for my daughter’s WASP school except for the athletes

[Anonymous]

My son at state school seems to have a girlfriend starting end of Junior year. He said he went on a few dates before but nothing serious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hear that Yale is awesome.

EVERYTHING ABOUT YALE IS AWESOME.

Mic drop.

[Anonymous]

Both of my boys go to non-Ivy T20 schools. They both have serious girlfriends - wonderful young women. I think good relationships are kind of the norm at their respective schools by junior and senior year. But these schools are "in the south," so norms and expectations might be different there. Also, these are 50-50 schools. Things seem pretty normal as far as I can tell.

[Anonymous]

gender balanced 50-50 ivy, not a lot of dating. Great friend at a T50 with 60% female, not a lot of dating. The culture of dating is different these days

[Anonymous]

If everyone is busy, of course no one has time for dating. Typical in Premed and finance schools.

[Anonymous]

DS is at a SEC school as a freshman. He said that most friends are not dating yet. He likes the frat/ sorority ‘coke dates’ and dates required for home games. While there is no real dating, it forced them to be social and ask girls out. Most of the juniors/ seniors he knows (about 15-20) have girlfriends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hear that Yale is awesome.

EVERYTHING ABOUT YALE IS AWESOME.

Mic drop.

Sure, if you're gay.

[Anonymous]

I hear it’s drastically different from college to college. In Auburn I heard everyone is married or engaged before graduating and Bama is the opposite.

[Anonymous]

Dd just graduated from an Ivy and there seemed to be lots of everything – lots of serious relationships, lots of hooking up, lots of people “too busy”. Kind of just seemed like the real world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My freshman daughter is at a large state school and there is no dating or even hooking up going on that she knows of. She has a wonderful group of friends who are all pretty, social, etc and they go to darties, etc but no boys ever ask them out and they don't get drunk enough to hookup. There are more girls at these things so it's really hard to get the attention of any guys. You can't stand out. Then no one really talks before or after classes. Kids go in and then leave.

Some of her friends at LACs have had an easy time meeting guys and some have even been asked out. I would say it's much easier in that setting.

I think my daughter is ok with this now because she's investing in female friendship (which is going really well) but I can imagine it will get old with time. I know she would like to date at some point in college. I think she would be receptive to almost any invitation from a guy. She and friends are not holding out for the top 5% or anything like that.

This sounds like what my daughter has described. The frats let in girls, but not many boys so the ratio in the parties is off. She's not sure where to meet non-frat guys. It's bugging her.

Intramural sports? Clubs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My freshman daughter is at a large state school and there is no dating or even hooking up going on that she knows of. She has a wonderful group of friends who are all pretty, social, etc and they go to darties, etc but no boys ever ask them out and they don't get drunk enough to hookup. There are more girls at these things so it's really hard to get the attention of any guys. You can't stand out. Then no one really talks before or after classes. Kids go in and then leave.

Some of her friends at LACs have had an easy time meeting guys and some have even been asked out. I would say it's much easier in that setting.

I think my daughter is ok with this now because she's investing in female friendship (which is going really well) but I can imagine it will get old with time. I know she would like to date at some point in college. I think she would be receptive to almost any invitation from a guy. She and friends are not holding out for the top 5% or anything like that.

This sounds like what my daughter has described. The frats let in girls, but not many boys so the ratio in the parties is off. She's not sure where to meet non-frat guys. It's bugging her.

Clubs, in class, in neighboring dorms

[Anonymous]

Is it even wise to put your life on hold in your 20's because you are too busy and then complain about not having any decent options in your 30's when everyone with social skills is already taken? Life needs balance between professional and personal aspects.

If they find good partners in their 20's among their peers, they won't have to date random weirdos from bars and internet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it even wise to put your life on hold in your 20's because you are too busy and then complain about not having any decent options in your 30's when everyone with social skills is already taken? Life needs balance between professional and personal aspects.

If they find good partners in their 20's among their peers, they won't have to date random weirdos from bars and internet.

Is it wise to miss out on the best dating years of your life? I guess it’s different now with the apps, but you are never going to be surrounded by as many people your own age, and you are never going to be as hot, as in your college age. I find it incredibly depressing that people are “too busy” to date in college. What a waste of a life.

[Anonymous]

I’m going to tell you the truth even though you might not like it. Guys don’t approach anymore girls because they’re nervous about getting in trouble or being labeled creepy. They could be accused of harassment or someone could record it and put it on TikTok making fun of the guy. Btw I’m a dem and support me too, etc. but this is the other side of the equation. Guys either forgo dating, use an app or a mutual friend plays matchmaker like middle school to make sure everyone is on the same page.