Dating Culture at different colleges

[Anonymous]

Just wondering if dating culture is different at different colleges. Liberal arts vs. large state school? Ivy vs non Ivy? I know some are known for hook up culture more than others. Any thoughts? My kid tells me that nobody dates at their college. Everyone is too career focused.

[Anonymous]

This is a very broad question.

I can only say that my son connected with his first-ever girlfriend at Syracuse beginning of his sophomore year through a dating app. He actually already had a class with her. They've been dating for 2 years and they're a great fit. He wasn't having any dating luck prior to the app. I think it is a way to sort through who actually wants to be in a relationship and who doesn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just wondering if dating culture is different at different colleges. Liberal arts vs. large state school? Ivy vs non Ivy? I know some are known for hook up culture more than others. Any thoughts? My kid tells me that nobody dates at their college. Everyone is too career focused.

What gender and orientation is your kid? Look carefully at the male/female ratio as that impacts dating culture.

At super competitive schools, the kids are coming with little to no dating experience and immediately thrown into high rigor and competition culture so once again there's little time to invest in a relationship. Harvard recently did a survey that was pretty bleak - at graduation from Harvard, students on average had only 0.5 relationships after 4 years of attending. So some half had 1 relationship in 4 years and the other half graduated with 0 relationships after 4 yrs in college, averaging to ony 0.5.

[Anonymous]

Male and straight. Male/female ratio is pretty balanced.

[Anonymous]

State schools are much better for dating. Top private schools are the worst - everyone is frantic about their careers, competition etc. No time / openness to date.

[Anonymous]

My freshman daughter is at a large state school and there is no dating or even hooking up going on that she knows of. She has a wonderful group of friends who are all pretty, social, etc and they go to darties, etc but no boys ever ask them out and they don't get drunk enough to hookup. There are more girls at these things so it's really hard to get the attention of any guys. You can't stand out. Then no one really talks before or after classes. Kids go in and then leave.

Some of her friends at LACs have had an easy time meeting guys and some have even been asked out. I would say it's much easier in that setting.

I think my daughter is ok with this now because she's investing in female friendship (which is going really well) but I can imagine it will get old with time. I know she would like to date at some point in college. I think she would be receptive to almost any invitation from a guy. She and friends are not holding out for the top 5% or anything like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My freshman daughter is at a large state school and there is no dating or even hooking up going on that she knows of. She has a wonderful group of friends who are all pretty, social, etc and they go to darties, etc but no boys ever ask them out and they don't get drunk enough to hookup. There are more girls at these things so it's really hard to get the attention of any guys. You can't stand out. Then no one really talks before or after classes. Kids go in and then leave.

Some of her friends at LACs have had an easy time meeting guys and some have even been asked out. I would say it's much easier in that setting.

I think my daughter is ok with this now because she's investing in female friendship (which is going really well) but I can imagine it will get old with time. I know she would like to date at some point in college. I think she would be receptive to almost any invitation from a guy. She and friends are not holding out for the top 5% or anything like that.

My daughter is at a LAC and feels like it's similar. Not a great girl/guy ratio, and very little dating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My freshman daughter is at a large state school and there is no dating or even hooking up going on that she knows of. She has a wonderful group of friends who are all pretty, social, etc and they go to darties, etc but no boys ever ask them out and they don't get drunk enough to hookup. There are more girls at these things so it's really hard to get the attention of any guys. You can't stand out. Then no one really talks before or after classes. Kids go in and then leave.

Some of her friends at LACs have had an easy time meeting guys and some have even been asked out. I would say it's much easier in that setting.

I think my daughter is ok with this now because she's investing in female friendship (which is going really well) but I can imagine it will get old with time. I know she would like to date at some point in college. I think she would be receptive to almost any invitation from a guy. She and friends are not holding out for the top 5% or anything like that.

This sounds like what my daughter has described. The frats let in girls, but not many boys so the ratio in the parties is off. She's not sure where to meet non-frat guys. It's bugging her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My freshman daughter is at a large state school and there is no dating or even hooking up going on that she knows of. She has a wonderful group of friends who are all pretty, social, etc and they go to darties, etc but no boys ever ask them out and they don't get drunk enough to hookup. There are more girls at these things so it's really hard to get the attention of any guys. You can't stand out. Then no one really talks before or after classes. Kids go in and then leave.

Some of her friends at LACs have had an easy time meeting guys and some have even been asked out. I would say it's much easier in that setting.

I think my daughter is ok with this now because she's investing in female friendship (which is going really well) but I can imagine it will get old with time. I know she would like to date at some point in college. I think she would be receptive to almost any invitation from a guy. She and friends are not holding out for the top 5% or anything like that.

It’s good she’s making good friends, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a very broad question.

I can only say that my son connected with his first-ever girlfriend at Syracuse beginning of his sophomore year through a dating app. He actually already had a class with her. They've been dating for 2 years and they're
a great fit. He wasn't having any dating luck prior to the app. I think it is a way to sort through who actually wants to be in a relationship and who doesn't.

Was it a dating app just for the university students?

[Anonymous]

My daughter who went to mid size Catholic University met her now fiancee through her roommate- he went to state school nearby and came over for a party. They have been together 5 years. Next daughter at different mid size Catholic University met her first boyfriend junior year- through friends at the college. They dated about a year. Next boyfriend was a part of her larger friend group, they were friends since freshman year, began dating near end of senior year. Son at large state school met his girlfriend through a friend end of sophomore year, they dated a couple of years but have since broken up.

[Anonymous]

I hear that Yale is awesome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just wondering if dating culture is different at different colleges. Liberal arts vs. large state school? Ivy vs non Ivy? I know some are known for hook up culture more than others. Any thoughts? My kid tells me that nobody dates at their college. Everyone is too career focused.

What gender and orientation is your kid? Look carefully at the male/female ratio as that impacts dating culture.

At super competitive schools, the kids are coming with little to no dating experience and immediately thrown into high rigor and competition culture so once again there's little time to invest in a relationship. Harvard recently did a survey that was pretty bleak - at graduation from Harvard, students on average had only 0.5 relationships after 4 years of attending. So some half had 1 relationship in 4 years and the other half graduated with 0 relationships after 4 yrs in college, averaging to ony 0.5.

Yeah, we know how average works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just wondering if dating culture is different at different colleges. Liberal arts vs. large state school? Ivy vs non Ivy? I know some are known for hook up culture more than others. Any thoughts? My kid tells me that nobody dates at their college. Everyone is too career focused.

What gender and orientation is your kid? Look carefully at the male/female ratio as that impacts dating culture.

At super competitive schools, the kids are coming with little to no dating experience and immediately thrown into high rigor and competition culture so once again there's little time to invest in a relationship. Harvard recently did a survey that was pretty bleak - at graduation from Harvard, students on average had only 0.5 relationships after 4 years of attending. So some half had 1 relationship in 4 years and the other half graduated with 0 relationships after 4 yrs in college, averaging to ony 0.5.

Yeah, we know how average works.

Or, there are a handful of guys really crushing it with the above-mid ladies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just wondering if dating culture is different at different colleges. Liberal arts vs. large state school? Ivy vs non Ivy? I know some are known for hook up culture more than others. Any thoughts? My kid tells me that nobody dates at their college. Everyone is too career focused.

The problem here is your kid doesn’t know everyone at her college. There are so many different types of kids at a college. Some will fit the stereotype some won’t.