How do people in this area afford divorce?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your QOL goes down. A lot. And probably permanently. I’m not saying this to discourage you, but it’s just the fact, and not just in this area.

You actually don’t need 3 bedrooms. That’s a level of QOL that not all families enjoy.

I think you fail to account for how much one’s mental health and overall well being can return/thrive when free of an abusive or addiction laden marriage.

I’m not failing to account for it, I’m explaining how you afford it. Which is by cutting back on QOL things like the # of bedrooms that feels “necessary.”

But you’re not accounting for the long term financial benefit of health and safety and wellbeing. So when you say ones QOL goes down, “probably permanently” I think you’re being pretty bold. I think staying alive and healthy is a lot better than staying in a 4 br home with an abuser. So I’d weigh that into my decision of what I could afford, were I mathing this for myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I made 2x what you do.

No, kids don’t need their own bedroom, wtf.

Stop being a martyr, get your sh*t together and leave.

To be fair, there is actually a point where you can't survive as a single parent of X kids. I did the math for a friend with 4 kids. She literally could not leave.

[Anonymous]

It would be a lot easier if housing wasn’t so expensive and you were allowed to move more than 30 min away

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I made 2x what you do.

No, kids don’t need their own bedroom, wtf.

Stop being a martyr, get your sh*t together and leave.

DP. 3 bedrooms with 1 adult and 3 kids does not give each kid their own bedroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I made 2x what you do.

No, kids don’t need their own bedroom, wtf.

Stop being a martyr, get your sh*t together and leave.

DP. 3 bedrooms with 1 adult and 3 kids does not give each kid their own bedroom.

Correct, one for the parent, one for girl(s), one for boy(s).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your QOL goes down. A lot. And probably permanently. I’m not saying this to discourage you, but it’s just the fact, and not just in this area.

You actually don’t need 3 bedrooms. That’s a level of QOL that not all families enjoy.

I think you fail to account for how much one’s mental health and overall well being can return/thrive when free of an abusive or addiction laden marriage.

I’m not failing to account for it, I’m explaining how you afford it. Which is by cutting back on QOL things like the # of bedrooms that feels “necessary.”

But you’re not accounting for the long term financial benefit of health and safety and wellbeing. So when you say ones QOL goes down, “probably permanently” I think you’re being pretty bold. I think staying alive and healthy is a lot better than staying in a 4 br home with an abuser. So I’d weigh that into my decision of what I could afford, were I mathing this for myself.

You’re trying to read in something I’m not saying. I won’t speculate as to why, but it’s very obvious what you’re trying to make me have said is not what I said.

[Anonymous]

Well, it's certainly a big adjustment to go from maintaining one home to maintaining two homes. If you are living in a nice home in a good area, you may have to move to an apartment in a less nice area. You would get child support if you are the lower earner and probably reduce savings goals like college and retirement. College does not have to cost much money if you plan or are not high-income. But, you can't expect your quality of living to stay the same.

[Anonymous]

I don't know why young women have more than one child without being independently wealthy or having family money. It increases your chances of falling into poverty.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Spouse makes $450k, but bc of his abuse I don’t want to rely on him for necessities like a mortgage. I’m sure he’ll be ordered to pay child support.

Can I really not move 30 minutes away? I’d have to to be able to afford something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Spouse makes $450k, but bc of his abuse I don’t want to rely on him for necessities like a mortgage. I’m sure he’ll be ordered to pay child support.

Can I really not move 30 minutes away? I’d have to to be able to afford something.

Even a rental or apartment? Probably not true

[Anonymous]

I mean, even a $650k house has a monthly payment of over $4k. I just want to move up to Frederick or Columbia or something

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean, even a $650k house has a monthly payment of over $4k. I just want to move up to Frederick or Columbia or something

You might not be a homeowner anymore. There is a building with income-limited apartments right by New Carrollton.

[Anonymous]

Pay cash for one hour of family law attorney consultation. Ask about some of these specifics like moving to Frederick or Columbia. You are correct that it is difficult financially.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, even a $650k house has a monthly payment of over $4k. I just want to move up to Frederick or Columbia or something

You might not be a homeowner anymore. There is a building with income-limited apartments right by New Carrollton.

I want to move further for schools, especially if my kids are going to have to give up their current life. It’s why I’ve been living in this hell for so long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, even a $650k house has a monthly payment of over $4k. I just want to move up to Frederick or Columbia or something

You might not be a homeowner anymore. There is a building with income-limited apartments right by New Carrollton.

I want to move further for schools, especially if my kids are going to have to give up their current life. It’s why I’ve been living in this hell for so long.

Why do they have to change schools…?