How do people in this area afford divorce?

[Anonymous]

I make $115k. Daycare alone is $4200 a month, our mortgage is $5500 - clearly would have to sell but even a much smaller house/less desirable schools is nearly that amount. With three kids need at least 3 bedrooms. I can’t see how it’s feasible. Abusive relationship, have been sticking it out but it’s getting worse.

[Anonymous]

I truly don't know. We have divorced friends and I am totally confused as to how their finances work. They are both feds (fortunately still employed) so neither is a huge earner. They both have single family homes. Kids do activities. They have a nanny even though kids are school aged to help with transition between houses. I am completely baffled. Neither lives in a super affordable area.

I guess family money? One of them did once drop that he expects to be working into his 70s though so maybe just debt. They really didn't want to be married anymore though.

[Anonymous]

I just keep telling myself to hold out as long as I can, but it’s getting harder each day. My sanity is truly suffering.

[Anonymous]

Your QOL goes down. A lot. And probably permanently. I’m not saying this to discourage you, but it’s just the fact, and not just in this area.

You actually don’t need 3 bedrooms. That’s a level of QOL that not all families enjoy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your QOL goes down. A lot. And probably permanently. I’m not saying this to discourage you, but it’s just the fact, and not just in this area.

You actually don’t need 3 bedrooms. That’s a level of QOL that not all families enjoy.

I think you fail to account for how much one’s mental health and overall well being can return/thrive when free of an abusive or addiction laden marriage.

[Anonymous]

I understand that. And I’m ok with that. But it still seems impossible

[Anonymous]

I made 2x what you do.

No, kids don’t need their own bedroom, wtf.

Stop being a martyr, get your sh*t together and leave.

[Anonymous]

It's really really hard. A friend with two kids moved into a tiny apartment. Slept on the living room sofa while her kids were in the bedrooms.

[Anonymous]

I know so many people with 2-3 kids in 1-2 bedroom. Kids love it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I made 2x what you do.

No, kids don’t need their own bedroom, wtf.

Stop being a martyr, get your sh*t together and leave.

It’s not crazy to need 2 bedrooms for the kids. OP may have pubescent kids and show me how a 15 year old girl can share a room with a 13 year old boy in a healthy way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your QOL goes down. A lot. And probably permanently. I’m not saying this to discourage you, but it’s just the fact, and not just in this area.

You actually don’t need 3 bedrooms. That’s a level of QOL that not all families enjoy.

I think you fail to account for how much one’s mental health and overall well being can return/thrive when free of an abusive or addiction laden marriage.

I’m not failing to account for it, I’m explaining how you afford it. Which is by cutting back on QOL things like the # of bedrooms that feels “necessary.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I made 2x what you do.

No, kids don’t need their own bedroom, wtf.

Stop being a martyr, get your sh*t together and leave.

It’s not crazy to need 2 bedrooms for the kids. OP may have pubescent kids and show me how a 15 year old girl can share a room with a 13 year old boy in a healthy way.

If you can’t afford it you do something else. Mom uses living room, mom shares with girl, teen uses living room… some other thing than the # of bedrooms that would be ideal if you could afford it, now that you can’t.

[Anonymous]

That's why you don't have 3 kids...

[Anonymous]

Watch the movie Maid, it can be difficult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's why you don't have 3 kids...

Or why you don’t marry someone you’re going to divorce! Glad being omniscient worked out well for you.