Would you be upset if your daycare provider bathed your child without permission?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am sure nothing sexual happened OP. Let it go.

OP didn't say anything about sexual abuse. It's a safety/drowning risk more than anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That doesn't sound appropriate. Did they also wash their clothes? How a child could get that dirty at daycare to warrant a bath?

She has extra clothes at the center. It was from mud outside. They have a little sprinkler and grassy area that I guess got wet and my daughter smeared it all over herself. She does this on occasion with food, paint, dirt, sand and I don’t mind her being and staying dirty.

[Anonymous]

I would be upset. I wouldn't want a daycare provider bathing my child. My kids went to daycare centers so that was never an option. To me there's a difference between putting a baby in a sink at a center and putting a child in a bathtub and also a difference between a nanny bathing her charge(s), and a daycare provider who is responsible for multiple children. I'd also be upset that this wasn't discussed (e.g., sometimes we bathe the children if they get dirty outside) at which point OP could have said she preferred a wipedown and change of clothes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That doesn't sound appropriate. Did they also wash their clothes? How a child could get that dirty at daycare to warrant a bath?

She has extra clothes at the center. It was from mud outside. They have a little sprinkler and grassy area that I guess got wet and my daughter smeared it all over herself. She does this on occasion with food, paint, dirt, sand and I don’t mind her being and staying dirty.

Good for you. Perhaps *they* minded her staying dirty and getting mud all over the daycare center?

I think you're nuts. They change her diaper, but you don't want them to bathe her when she's filthy?

That said, you're entitled to ask that they not bathe her anymore. Just be prepared for one of three alternatives - she doesn't get to play in the sprinkler anymore, you are called to pick her up when she gets so dirty that they feel she needs a bath, or they ask you to leave the center. If there is a wait list, I know which one I'd choose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sure nothing sexual happened OP. Let it go.

OP didn't say anything about sexual abuse. It's a safety/drowning risk more than anything.

OP didn't say anything about anything other than she's not happy. You don't know what OP's real concerns are.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you would be more comfortable having them in a center where it’s much more cut and dry. It sounds like they are more of a family atmosphere, hence a family home and that doesn’t make you comfortable.

I’m sure you feel inappropriate because you think something sexual is happening, but you have no problem with them changing her diaper or changing out her clothing if she’s dirty.

Do yourself (and them) a favor and find a large center. (God forbid they give her a hug you you’ll think it’s inappropriate too!)

[Anonymous]

The daycare clearly didn’t think anything of it if they let you know OP.

People with ulterior motives are secretive.

I agree with the PP. I think a better fit for you would be a larger, more “professional” center.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you worried the bath is unsafe or what is the concern exactly?

We went thru a phase with my infant where he was having diaper blowouts on the way to daycare. They would put him into the sink (this is in the infant room in the center) to clean him fully and more comfortably. I was often there for a few mins at the start. So, did not bother me in that setup.

I use to nanny and had a family where I was not allowed to change the child’s diaper or help with toileting. Mom was a SAHM and if they needed a change or to use the restroom I was to get her or Grandma to help.

It was really bizarre and made me feel like I had done something wrong when I hadn’t. Mom was upfront at least and said she had a lot of trauma. I understand her reasoning but I never understood why she’d hire care providers if she had such deep trust issues.

I wonder if OP is coming from the same place?

I’m a mom now and my kiddo is always with us so I get the fear for sure. What I still don’t get is having that fear (whether it’s legitimate or due to your own baggage) and having someone care for them you clearly don’t trust.

It just feels inappropriate for a care provider to bathe a child. They aren’t a parent.

Is this OP?

FYI a lot of nannies at the parents' direction, depending on their schedule. Not saying it's the same as this daycare situation but not sure I agree on the parent vs care giver thing here.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t care at all but I am not a FTM. They change diapers, and it sounds like they are staffed enough to not leave her unattended.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you worried the bath is unsafe or what is the concern exactly?

We went thru a phase with my infant where he was having diaper blowouts on the way to daycare. They would put him into the sink (this is in the infant room in the center) to clean him fully and more comfortably. I was often there for a few mins at the start. So, did not bother me in that setup.

This. If your kid is dirty enough that child care professionals thinks it warrants a bath, which is extra work for them, I would trust their judgment. If I didn’t trust their judgment on a bath, I would worry about leaving my kid in their care more generally.

This is my thought. I can’t imagine that they’re giving extra baths for fun - it’s only because the kid ended up being exceptionally dirty. I personally don’t mind a bit of dirt, but sometimes a kid gets absolutely encrusted (dirt, poo, vomit, whatever) , and a quick wipe down just isn’t going to do it. I’m grateful if the team will give a quick bath and let the. be a bit more comfortable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter just started at a home daycare two weeks ago. A colleague of mine has both of her kids enrolled there and absolutely loves it.

So far everything has been fine—we get detailed reports and pictures throughout the day, which I really appreciate.

Today, I got a message saying my daughter was given a bath because she got really dirty outside. I know they have a bathtub and shower in the daycare because we saw it during the tour, but they never mentioned that they actually use it. They only said that it’s where the older children use the restroom.

I’m not sure why she couldn’t have just been wiped down and had a change of clothes instead.

I messaged back asking who bathed her, but I haven’t received a reply yet. There are two main teachers and four younger women who rotate in and out during the week. I’ve met them all at this point, but I’m still a little unsettled at the idea of a stranger bathing my child.

Am I overreacting?

Nope not acceptable
I’d remove my kid immediately

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you worried the bath is unsafe or what is the concern exactly?

We went thru a phase with my infant where he was having diaper blowouts on the way to daycare. They would put him into the sink (this is in the infant room in the center) to clean him fully and more comfortably. I was often there for a few mins at the start. So, did not bother me in that setup.

It just feels inappropriate for a care provider to bathe a child. They aren’t a parent.

But you’re ok with the care provider wiping crap off your kid’s genitals with a baby wipe?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you worried the bath is unsafe or what is the concern exactly?

We went thru a phase with my infant where he was having diaper blowouts on the way to daycare. They would put him into the sink (this is in the infant room in the center) to clean him fully and more comfortably. I was often there for a few mins at the start. So, did not bother me in that setup.

It just feels inappropriate for a care provider to bathe a child. They aren’t a parent.

Huh? I don't see the connection. They're obviously caregivers.

[Anonymous]

I find this a bit odd that they give baths at daycare. And the kids shouldn’t be just playing in a mud pile! It feels kind of off.

[Anonymous]

I think OP is massively overreacting. I’d be super grateful if a caregiver went above and beyond to clean my kid with a bath if they were smeared in mud. My nanny was washing my baby’s butt with water and soap in the sink after large poops (not at my direction) and I was so happy she was doing that — greatly reduces rash likelihood and is much cleaner than just using wipes.