Would you be upset if your daycare provider bathed your child without permission?

[Anonymous]

My daughter just started at a home daycare two weeks ago. A colleague of mine has both of her kids enrolled there and absolutely loves it.

So far everything has been fine—we get detailed reports and pictures throughout the day, which I really appreciate.

Today, I got a message saying my daughter was given a bath because she got really dirty outside. I know they have a bathtub and shower in the daycare because we saw it during the tour, but they never mentioned that they actually use it. They only said that it’s where the older children use the restroom.

I’m not sure why she couldn’t have just been wiped down and had a change of clothes instead.

I messaged back asking who bathed her, but I haven’t received a reply yet. There are two main teachers and four younger women who rotate in and out during the week. I’ve met them all at this point, but I’m still a little unsettled at the idea of a stranger bathing my child.

Am I overreacting?

[Anonymous]

Are you worried the bath is unsafe or what is the concern exactly?

We went thru a phase with my infant where he was having diaper blowouts on the way to daycare. They would put him into the sink (this is in the infant room in the center) to clean him fully and more comfortably. I was often there for a few mins at the start. So, did not bother me in that setup.

[Anonymous]

I think feeling unsettled is a fine reaction. It's not like you're ready to go down there and yell at them or are immediately wanting to pull her out. It's fine to say you're not comfortable with her getting a bath there.

[Anonymous]

I find a lot daycares too zealous about cleanliness but I wouldn't care about a bath.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you worried the bath is unsafe or what is the concern exactly?

We went thru a phase with my infant where he was having diaper blowouts on the way to daycare. They would put him into the sink (this is in the infant room in the center) to clean him fully and more comfortably. I was often there for a few mins at the start. So, did not bother me in that setup.

I'm assuming a safety issue? A sink seems fine. I have known parents with different levels of safety/comfort in regards to their babies/toddlers and baths and I assume the same goes with child care providers. I'm guessing OP may be worried about the level of safety and monitoring during the bath.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you worried the bath is unsafe or what is the concern exactly?

We went thru a phase with my infant where he was having diaper blowouts on the way to daycare. They would put him into the sink (this is in the infant room in the center) to clean him fully and more comfortably. I was often there for a few mins at the start. So, did not bother me in that setup.

This. If your kid is dirty enough that child care professionals thinks it warrants a bath, which is extra work for them, I would trust their judgment. If I didn’t trust their judgment on a bath, I would worry about leaving my kid in their care more generally.

[Anonymous]

You are overreacting, but you should also ask just how dirty she was that it merited a bath.

What exactly about the bath is making you uneasy? That she was nude?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you worried the bath is unsafe or what is the concern exactly?

We went thru a phase with my infant where he was having diaper blowouts on the way to daycare. They would put him into the sink (this is in the infant room in the center) to clean him fully and more comfortably. I was often there for a few mins at the start. So, did not bother me in that setup.

It just feels inappropriate for a care provider to bathe a child. They aren’t a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you worried the bath is unsafe or what is the concern exactly?

We went thru a phase with my infant where he was having diaper blowouts on the way to daycare. They would put him into the sink (this is in the infant room in the center) to clean him fully and more comfortably. I was often there for a few mins at the start. So, did not bother me in that setup.

This. If your kid is dirty enough that child care professionals thinks it warrants a bath, which is extra work for them, I would trust their judgment. If I didn’t trust their judgment on a bath, I would worry about leaving my kid in their care more generally.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you worried the bath is unsafe or what is the concern exactly?

We went thru a phase with my infant where he was having diaper blowouts on the way to daycare. They would put him into the sink (this is in the infant room in the center) to clean him fully and more comfortably. I was often there for a few mins at the start. So, did not bother me in that setup.

It just feels inappropriate for a care provider to bathe a child. They aren’t a parent.

Is this OP?

FYI a lot of nannies at the parents' direction, depending on their schedule. Not saying it's the same as this daycare situation but not sure I agree on the parent vs care giver thing here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you worried the bath is unsafe or what is the concern exactly?

We went thru a phase with my infant where he was having diaper blowouts on the way to daycare. They would put him into the sink (this is in the infant room in the center) to clean him fully and more comfortably. I was often there for a few mins at the start. So, did not bother me in that setup.

It just feels inappropriate for a care provider to bathe a child. They aren’t a parent.

A bath feels inappropriate but teaching, diapering, toileting, feeding and being with them 40 hours a week is all ok?

It’s an overreaction. Ask them not to bathe her again. And if you don’t trust them to give your child a bath, then it sounds like you need to stay home and care for your kids yourself.

[Anonymous]

I am sure nothing sexual happened OP. Let it go.

[Anonymous]

OP, this is certainly concerning. But a few questions… How old is your child? Is there any male in the home? Did they say what the children were doing? Mud play? What activity was so messy? Was any other child bathed, or only your child? How long has your friend had her children there? How long have the three(?) adult helpers been working there?

[Anonymous]

That doesn't sound appropriate. Did they also wash their clothes? How a child could get that dirty at daycare to warrant a bath?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, this is certainly concerning. But a few questions… How old is your child? Is there any male in the home? Did they say what the children were doing? Mud play? What activity was so messy? Was any other child bathed, or only your child? How long has your friend had her children there? How long have the three(?) adult helpers been working there?

She’s 18 months. The home owner has a husband but he usually works long shifts so isn’t home and the home is the floor above the center. No male on staff

They played outside and she got very muddy. I’m fine with it. It was in her hair but I’m fine with cleaning it out at home. I was sent pictures of her messy.

My friend has had her oldest there for four years and her youngest for two years.

No clue about the other helpers. They’re young college age girls.