Pre-nup or not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sensing he’s solid marriage material. He sounds entitled. Has he ever had jobs? Has his mother waited on him hand and foot? Please reconsider.

This.

[Anonymous]

How will the OP keep their pre-marital assets in their name when they purchase a home? Should she match her spouse’s down payment amount? This could take awhile.

[Anonymous]

If not a prenup, then keep every single, solitary premarital asset separate, and never move it, change it or add a dollar to it or take a dollar out of it. Before you get married, put it in a simple market index fund or similar that you never have to touch again.
and then print and keep all statements from the month prior to your marriage in a couple safe places to reference in the future if needed (in divorce)

Keep everything in your maiden name (in fact I highly recommend never changing your name).

Good luck and I hope for all young women that you never ever get to the point I'm at where your cheating husband tries to take all of your assets in divorce

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You probably don't need a prenup to protect your premarital assets, and I think there is some relationship cost to insisting on one. The default rules are fine in most jurisdictions for most people.

This. Prenups are divisive, and there is a relationship risk to asking for one. If your only concern is premarital assets, then your money might be better spent talking to a lawyer about measures you can take to protect your separate property (the gist of which will be how not to comingle separate property).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How will the OP keep their pre-marital assets in their name when they purchase a home? Should she match her spouse’s down payment amount? This could take awhile.

DON'T use premarital funds for a downpayment. It will be considered a "gift" to the marriage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How will the OP keep their pre-marital assets in their name when they purchase a home? Should she match her spouse’s down payment amount? This could take awhile.

Yes, and it's okay if it takes a while. They can rent and save together. You really don't need to buy a home before your kids are at least 2.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely get a prenup!

Everyone who marries gets a prenup. It’s just determined by your local government instead of the relevant parties. So what’s the harm? Customize the legal end to your specific situation.

[Anonymous]

If you've been together since young age, there is no need for prenuptial but if you just met a year ago and have significant wealth inequality, do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely get a prenup!

Everyone who marries gets a prenup. It’s just determined by your local government instead of the relevant parties. So what’s the harm? Customize the legal end to your specific situation.

Most people getting married for the first time want the same things in a prenup that are already defaulted by local law.

[Anonymous]

NO, you do not split your net worth prior to marriage, it's only after marriage. You don't need a prenup.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:SO and I are late 20s. I'm in tech, earn and saved well. Net worth is approaching $1M (no house). SO is in medical residency, has close to no net worth and will likely be in that state (specialization, etc.) for a while. We currently live together, vibe well and talking about marriage. I foot all the bills (except for share of rent which SO's parents pay).

Assuming we get married, once SO starts working, I'll have to take a secondary role - move to where their job would be, be the primary caregiver for any kids, step down on my career track, etc. all of which I'm OK with. At the same time I'm concerned (having see it happen) that if we were to get divorced at some point, I'd end up splitting my net worth prior to marriage and get close to nothing from SO's savings. SO does come from a wealthy family (only child) and is set to inherit a lot more than what I would inherit or save.

Wondering if I should consider a pre-nup.. Would growth on my net worth also be covered by the pre-nup typically? Looking for thoughts from folks who may have gone through a similar situation before.

Actually kind of sacrifices you are supposed to make financially with a decade of him being in low income and time consuming training, it makes sense to be secure with a prenup, more so as you've to move, have babies and such for him.

Many many physicians (of both genders) divorce spouses who propped them up all the years of education and training with money, care and logistical support, right before they start earning big bucks and go marry someone new.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely get a prenup!

Everyone who marries gets a prenup. It’s just determined by your local government instead of the relevant parties. So what’s the harm? Customize the legal end to your specific situation.

Most people getting married for the first time want the same things in a prenup that are already defaulted by local law.

Not necessarily. And if op wants to buy a home for them, she should protect that and herself. Nothing wrong with talking to a lawyer on this.

[Anonymous]

If you do a pre-nup and he starts making bank, when you divorce do you get your measly $1M only because you insisted on that?

[Anonymous]

Always.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you do a pre-nup and he starts making bank, when you divorce do you get your measly $1M only because you insisted on that?

If you agree to waive alimony or any other rights to income or marital property in the prenup, then yes. If the only thing you want in a prenup is to protect your $1m, you can accomplish that without a prenup.