How to date while high maintenance?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean by high maintenance? Are you talking about hair and nails or are you emotionally high maintenance?

I work a lot and don’t always feel like grocery shopping for one so I rely on food kits like Hello Fresh. I still eat healthy but don’t have to buy a bunch of ingredients and food that will go to waste.

I like massages. I like traveling. I like going out to try new restaurants and wine tastings.

I don’t think you understand the term “high maintenance” unless you’re constantly sending food back, cranky because you didn’t have a massage this week and rude to others because you booked a middle seat and the lady next to you won’t switch seats.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think your lifestyle is high maintenance. I don’t think anyone else would think it was too if you can afford it. Just be yourself and be open to discussing what you can and cannot drop in terms of your lifestyle if your or both your employment circumstances change. The right man (for you) will not care about a woman being high maintenance. However, most men will care if the woman is being unreasonable and unwilling to compromise if their maintenance budget needs to be cut in the future for whatever reason.

[Anonymous]

Op will probably be back here in 5 years or so and will be asking why she is still single in her mid-late 30s

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your best bet is to be yourself. Always go on dates with full makeup, perfect hair, manicure/pedicure, heels, fancy clothing.

Some men really appreciate a girly girl who always looks perfect by their side. Don’t downplay this part of your personality and make sure it is something he appreciates.

I don’t really do makeup, nails, or hair much. My high maintenance is subscriptions, massages, a house cleaner, etc.

This doesn’t sound like high maintenance. Sounds like a lazy person who spends a lot. I don’t think most men care about how much you spend as long as you make $$$.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your best bet is to be yourself. Always go on dates with full makeup, perfect hair, manicure/pedicure, heels, fancy clothing.

Some men really appreciate a girly girl who always looks perfect by their side. Don’t downplay this part of your personality and make sure it is something he appreciates.

I don’t really do makeup, nails, or hair much. My high maintenance is subscriptions, massages, a house cleaner, etc.

This doesn’t sound like high maintenance. Sounds like a lazy person who spends a lot. I don’t think most men care about how much you spend as long as you make $$$.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op will probably be back here in 5 years or so and will be asking why she is still single in her mid-late 30s

You think you’re being snarky, but OP literally asks in her first post if she’s a “lost cause.” This isn’t the burn you think it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op will probably be back here in 5 years or so and will be asking why she is still single in her mid-late 30s

You think you’re being snarky, but OP literally asks in her first post if she’s a “lost cause.” This isn’t the burn you think it is.

Want to marry and have a family while having inflated sense of self worth. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Honey OP, marriage is long. I would not try to change my preferences based on the internet. Be a kind open person who is honest about their preferences and how they manage those preferences responsibly. You may meet a guy who has a really expensive hobby you don’t get at all but he can fund it and also the two of you together can meet your other goals. That’s great! It’s really just about understanding that you need to fit in your budget and when you opt not to do certain things like cook much there is a cost associated with that. If you solve that problem with money that you are earning, there’s no problem and if he has the same problem he can solve it the same way. If you meet a guy who also does not want to cook but thinks you should do it because of your double X chromosome, you don’t want to be married to that guy anyway. It’s truly best to be honest when you first meet someone so you can both decide if you are compatible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your best bet is to be yourself. Always go on dates with full makeup, perfect hair, manicure/pedicure, heels, fancy clothing.

Some men really appreciate a girly girl who always looks perfect by their side. Don’t downplay this part of your personality and make sure it is something he appreciates.

I don’t really do makeup, nails, or hair much. My high maintenance is subscriptions, massages, a house cleaner, etc.

This doesn’t sound like high maintenance. Sounds like a lazy person who spends a lot. I don’t think most men care about how much you spend as long as you make $$$.

I don’t think I’m lazy. I cooked and cleaned when I didn’t make a lot of money. Now I do and would rather not do this stuff because I work 45-50 hour weeks and make enough that I can afford the luxuries.

[Anonymous]

1. Can you pay for those so-called high maintenance things?

2. Can you take care of all of your needs, even if you hire out (cooking, cleaning)?

3. Are you polite to people who wait on you or otherwise don’t have power over you?

If you answered yes to all three, you are fine. And if any guy gives you a hard time, ask him to explain the reason. If the reason is dumb, give him a miss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean by high maintenance? Are you talking about hair and nails or are you emotionally high maintenance?

I work a lot and don’t always feel like grocery shopping for one so I rely on food kits like Hello Fresh. I still eat healthy but don’t have to buy a bunch of ingredients and food that will go to waste.

I like massages. I like traveling. I like going out to try new restaurants and wine tastings.

This sounds pretty standard for a highish earning white collar professional in their 30s. I was like this at your age and it was a total non issue in terms of dating. I wouldn't call this high maintenance as that term is commonly understood, especially since you are totally capable of funding it yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m 31 and really want to marry and have a family. Admittedly, I’m high maintenance. I’m aware but do not plan to change this because that’s what works for me. Am I a lost cause or is this still hope to find a man?

If you are pretty and wealthy, you can be as high maintenance as you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your best bet is to be yourself. Always go on dates with full makeup, perfect hair, manicure/pedicure, heels, fancy clothing.

Some men really appreciate a girly girl who always looks perfect by their side. Don’t downplay this part of your personality and make sure it is something he appreciates.

I don’t really do makeup, nails, or hair much. My high maintenance is subscriptions, massages, a house cleaner, etc.

This doesn’t sound like high maintenance. Sounds like a lazy person who spends a lot. I don’t think most men care about how much you spend as long as you make $$$.

I don’t think I’m lazy. I cooked and cleaned when I didn’t make a lot of money. Now I do and would rather not do this stuff because I work 45-50 hour weeks and make enough that I can afford the luxuries.

Being able to "afford the luxuries" means different things to different people. Some think that if have the money in savings, you can afford it. Others think that you can only afford it if you can pay for it and otherwise have plenty of money to save, invest, etc. Some people think that spending tons of money is a moral failing even if you can afford it under any metric. Others think that being frugal is a moral failing if not necessary. There are all types out there, and it is hard to know what you are indulging in and what you can/can't afford. But I think that if we want to make generalizations, guys who are marriage minded probably tend to be on the more conservative side when it comes to money, so if you are trying to find a guy who wants a wife and kids, he might be turned off by frivolous spending.

[Anonymous]

Do you want kids? Because nothing about your current habits is sustainable with kids. Unless you and he come from or make a lot of money. And nothing says you’d tolerate the drudgery of parenting well. That is why you are a red flag.

[Anonymous]

Even if you’re paying for this stuff now, guys are going to assume that eventually they would be on the hook for it, so you are limiting yourself to the subset of trad guys who are all about giving their woman the princess treatment. Not sure how hard they are to find.