I think I want to quit working

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You left out the most important thing here, which is whether your husband is on the same page as you or whether this is some kind of unilateral decision you are making.

FWIW if you were my spouse, I would not support this. I would expect you to suck it up. Why take a 6-figure hit to our income?

+1 you have college loans.

If you wanted to be able to quit once you had kids, you shouldn't have taken out loans. Sure, that's in hindsight, but you made the choice to take out loans.

FWIW, I am completely disillusioned with corporate America, but went back to work after the kids were born because I wanted to be able to save for retirement and college. I did take a total of 2 years off with two kids, but I also saved a lot before I did it.

I was fortunate to be able to get back into the workforce earning six figures due to my network and being a top performer, but it has still mommy tracked me, which I am ok with since I hate the corporate world.

I will be retiring in two years, at 57. Youngest will be off to college, with a fully funded 529 for in state.

If it's just about being disillusioned at work, you just have to suck it up. If it's because you are stressed out with childcare/housechores, hire help.

How do you suck it up? This sounds ridiculous but I feel physically ill when I think about work. I do a good job and don’t have any problems, I just hate it.

Lol

Join the club, op.

Lots of people hate working.

But it’s mind over matter. Focus on an exit strategy if you must, but you don’t seem financially equipped to peace out of the workforce.

[Anonymous]

I can share what I'd think about. I might consider sucking it up for another year and practicing living on the one salary while banking your salary. This will provide more savings for college, etc.

If you can save for college on DH's salary plus handle all the bills--and he has a secure job--then maybe it's time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know what you do in healthcare but I had a friend who was in healthcare and hated it. She decided to become a school nurse. She feel in love with it. Summers off, not too busy at school. Same hours as kids schools. She also came into it making 6 figures. Not saying you should do that but saying maybe a change is needed and not full blown quitting. You have to look at options and not just go from 100 working to 0. Part time, change of company, complete job change, etc. be rational

The challenge with going PT is that you might find the pay is MUCH lower than what you earned working FT. I could never go PT in my field because the openings offered $15-$25/hour when I made over six figures in my FT job.

If you are a nurse, then you prob CAN go PT as you don't get docked your hourly wage for being PT.

Whether to go PT or not really depends upon your career. Also, some careers will still give you a FT workload when you are working PT...

[Anonymous]

DON'T quit working OP. Try to negotiate a better schedule, find another job, or take the time to develop a business plan for whatever solo gig you think you might be able to launch. I get it - 3 kids, one of whom is a toddler, would be a lot for anyone to juggle with a FT job. But you have student loans and 3 college tuitions to fund. You didn't mention what industry your husband is in but the economy is going to go through significant changes over the next decade as AI displaces some jobs. Unless you have generational wealth, stay in the workforce for as long as you can. It's always easier to find another job while you're still working.

[Anonymous]

I don’t work and haven’t for a long time. I have teens. If your marriage is solid and you are both smart with money (budget, savings, reasonable expenses and expectations) it can be a great lifestyle for a family.

[Anonymous]

Always have a plan B.
220k is enough for flyover with no jones to keep up with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Always have a plan B.
220k is enough for flyover with no jones to keep up with.

More than enough. Especially if you keep the kids in public school and keep housing reasonable. Don’t became house poor.

[Anonymous]

Take a pay cut and get a job somewhere else. You have CONSIDERABLE DEBT and need to save for college, yet your plan is to saddle your husband with that stress?? I'd divorce you.

If you can easily live off your husband's salary, then take a pay cut at a lighter job and use your income to pay down your debt. Or stay in your job and aggressively pay down debt/save for college.

[Anonymous]

Your debt is a huge problem. Should your husband divorce you, you could be screwed for a long time if you can’t find work immediately.

And postnuptial agreements are tough especially where they are one sided which is what yours would arguably be. So that wouldn’t make me feel really secure like you seem to be.

Last and biggest thing. Being the sole wage earner is a huge burden and being dependent on another person who has all of the control is no picnic. And don’t kid yourself here. The person who earns the money is the one in control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m envious of women who can just quit and not worry about the consequences.

Both DH and I work, but I earn more than double his salary. We no longer have student debt and our mortgage will be paid off in just under 10 years. We saved enough for college for our oldest and have nearly enough for our second; we still need to sock away money for our third’s tuition.

I would never leave the workforce and saddle my kids with student loans.

Even if we had all the tuition covered, my salary covers our travel (which is basically a big part of my joy and our family’s happiness). We prioritize regular travel.

I want to leverage my salary to cover my retirement and any care I might need. I don’t want to be a burden to my kids.

And while I doubt I’ll get a divorce, every woman should be financially equipped to navigate losing her spouse.

Have you considered all of that, op?

Not to be morose, but I know a lot of ladies whose husbands died far too young. One was well equipped to handle it, but all the others really struggled financially.

Oh there are consequences

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You left out the most important thing here, which is whether your husband is on the same page as you or whether this is some kind of unilateral decision you are making.

FWIW if you were my spouse, I would not support this. I would expect you to suck it up. Why take a 6-figure hit to our income?

DH is on board with whatever I want to do. It’s up to me.

Are you sure?

Why are you asking us?

I can tell you the grass may seem greener but it isn’t necessarily. And you ARE taking on risk (so is he) if the amount of stress this puts on your relationship eventually causes divorce.

I am sure that he is open to either option, but deep down he probably would prefer I didn’t quit working. I have thought about added stress for him if he were to become the sole breadwinner.

Girl you know this is the real answer. This only works if the DH is completely on board. Sounds like yours isn’t. I know too many women who have bought themselves a divorce by doing this.

[Anonymous]

You still have college loans to pay off AND you need to save for THREE kids to go to college.

Sorry, you need to keep working.

[Anonymous]

There’s a money forum here that might be better for this question. But we’d need more details. You mention you are still paying student loans? It doesn’t seem like a good idea to quit now in most cases. Do you have other debts?

If you are debt free and you have a paid off house or tons of home equity so you could downsize and be mortgage free, children’s college already fully funded, I’d say go for it. If not, and it doesn’t sound like that’s your case, then I’d make it a goal and then consider it.

It’s putting an awful lot of pressure on your husband. What if something happens to his job? Many people intend to work until their 60s thinking their salary stay the same or increase, and they will stay healthy and not get laid off, but the stark reality is that is not something that can be counted on.

[Anonymous]

With 3 kids and the current state of the world including advent of AI which may likely impact all jobs in the near future, I’d work at least another year, live off your husbands salary and use all your earnings to pay down or off the student debt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You left out the most important thing here, which is whether your husband is on the same page as you or whether this is some kind of unilateral decision you are making.

FWIW if you were my spouse, I would not support this. I would expect you to suck it up. Why take a 6-figure hit to our income?

+1 you have college loans.

If you wanted to be able to quit once you had kids, you shouldn't have taken out loans. Sure, that's in hindsight, but you made the choice to take out loans.

FWIW, I am completely disillusioned with corporate America, but went back to work after the kids were born because I wanted to be able to save for retirement and college. I did take a total of 2 years off with two kids, but I also saved a lot before I did it.

I was fortunate to be able to get back into the workforce earning six figures due to my network and being a top performer, but it has still mommy tracked me, which I am ok with since I hate the corporate world.

I will be retiring in two years, at 57. Youngest will be off to college, with a fully funded 529 for in state.

If it's just about being disillusioned at work, you just have to suck it up. If it's because you are stressed out with childcare/housechores, hire help.

How do you suck it up? This sounds ridiculous but I feel physically ill when I think about work. I do a good job and don’t have any problems, I just hate it.

I keep my eyes on the prize: a comfortable, early retirement with kids' colleges paid for (in state). I have 2 more years to go. I would like to quit right now. I worked over 4th of July because of the project I'm on which was badly managed.

I am no longer operating at 100%, but my 85% is better than most on my team. Sometimes I have a bad attitude at work, but I honestly don't care at this point.

My kids are 17 and 20. It went by slow, but fast, if you get what I mean.

Or, just find a new job that you don't hate.

When we lived on just DH's salary alone, budget was tight, and we had to dip into my savings to go on vacation and for extras. While work stress went down, I had a bit of financial stress.