I think I want to quit working

[Anonymous]

Almost no one loves their day job. Quitting your job because it isn’t great is immature. You know all the reasons you need to stay. The big one is you are an adult in your home and not a child. Behave like one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You did not say how much you husband makes and agree with the other poster, how does your husband feel about this short term and long term? 100k salary is not much now a days but that is a huge yearly hit. You have young children now but their expenses rise as they get older. I suggest you try a different work field.

DH makes $220 and we live in flyover country. I think you might be right about industry - I’m in healthcare and hate it.

220k and supporting a wife and three kids? Absolutely no way. What exactly do you think you would be doing all day?

DP here. Caring for a 2 year old? Caring for the older kids after school instead of using aftercare? This is pretty common in my neighborhood - lots of moms don’t work.

[Anonymous]

Do it! I made so little money at times that going to work cost me more than staying home. This actually wasn't even why I quit. I quit because I was abused mentally (and sexually) at work.
I took personal finance to another level because I had to. The jobs I had, were going to take my mental and physical health.
Every penny I ever made, I still have and then some. Most people wouldn't even survive on low wage, but I still have it all.
I tripled every $1 that made it home.There are several ways I did it, but here are some:
I get way more money back every year than I pay in taxes.
I know difference between price and value.
My last years investment return was 100% and I'm close to 70% this year already.
The few loans I have, are at 0-5% interest only or I wouldn't have them.
My big expenses are only living expenses, health, and food. Cutting them 25% in 2026.
I did get a finance degree, but not needed at all.
I make Amy D. look like a beginner. I'm not handy like she was though. It's all about getting things cheaper, but making higher return.
I have learned so much stretching every $1 and have enjoyed every moment of it. The reward is not having to go to work. I bought my time back. I still struggle with the work abuse and wish I had left much, much earlier.
I was a great worker too. My ex bosses are still calling me offering a pay raise and lowering duties. Work is going nowhere.
Work is not the only way to make money. Money makes money.
I never wanted to own a business, but go for it.

[Anonymous]

OP, we live in flyover country too. Our neighbor lost his well paying job 20 months ago. His well educated wife has been a SAHM for a number of years.

The DH can’t find another job even close to the salary he had before. He carried their health insurance. Everything is on him. He’s 45 and he’s unemployed.

The DW hasn’t worked in over a decade. She can’t make any money. She can’t even get an interview.

If you want to roll the dice, go for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, we live in flyover country too. Our neighbor lost his well paying job 20 months ago. His well educated wife has been a SAHM for a number of years.

The DH can’t find another job even close to the salary he had before. He carried their health insurance. Everything is on him. He’s 45 and he’s unemployed.

The DW hasn’t worked in over a decade. She can’t make any money. She can’t even get an interview.

What’s the status of this family now?

If you want to roll the dice, go for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, we live in flyover country too. Our neighbor lost his well paying job 20 months ago. His well educated wife has been a SAHM for a number of years.

The DH can’t find another job even close to the salary he had before. He carried their health insurance. Everything is on him. He’s 45 and he’s unemployed.

The DW hasn’t worked in over a decade. She can’t make any money. She can’t even get an interview.

If you want to roll the dice, go for it.

What’s the status of this family now? Genuinely curious?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You left out the most important thing here, which is whether your husband is on the same page as you or whether this is some kind of unilateral decision you are making.

FWIW if you were my spouse, I would not support this. I would expect you to suck it up. Why take a 6-figure hit to our income?

+1 you have college loans.

If you wanted to be able to quit once you had kids, you shouldn't have taken out loans. Sure, that's in hindsight, but you made the choice to take out loans.

FWIW, I am completely disillusioned with corporate America, but went back to work after the kids were born because I wanted to be able to save for retirement and college. I did take a total of 2 years off with two kids, but I also saved a lot before I did it.

I was fortunate to be able to get back into the workforce earning six figures due to my network and being a top performer, but it has still mommy tracked me, which I am ok with since I hate the corporate world.

I will be retiring in two years, at 57. Youngest will be off to college, with a fully funded 529 for in state.

If it's just about being disillusioned at work, you just have to suck it up. If it's because you are stressed out with childcare/housechores, hire help.

How do you suck it up? This sounds ridiculous but I feel physically ill when I think about work. I do a good job and don’t have any problems, I just hate it.

OP, the one job you have isn't the only job in the world. Why is your choice between staying with a job you obviously loath and not working? Your husband does not make enough to pay and plan for a family of five. If I were him and you unilaterally decided you weren't going to work anymore I would definitely expect you to be a competent homemaker, handling the vast majority of work.

[Anonymous]

Id do it op. It doesn’t sound like you’d regret it. I’m in a work transition right now and have been home with the kids this summer and I’m someone that never saw myself staying home, now I wish I could. The mental stress it takes for our family having only one person managing both home and work is so huge. It is so nice to just have less balls to juggle. If you can swing it, do it.

[Anonymous]

Also, don’t let other people on dcum who are scared and don’t know a lot about your life scare you from living the right life for you. Your kids childhood is short your life is short. Do what works for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do it! I made so little money at times that going to work cost me more than staying home. This actually wasn't even why I quit. I quit because I was abused mentally (and sexually) at work.
I took personal finance to another level because I had to. The jobs I had, were going to take my mental and physical health.
Every penny I ever made, I still have and then some. Most people wouldn't even survive on low wage, but I still have it all.
I tripled every $1 that made it home.There are several ways I did it, but here are some:
I get way more money back every year than I pay in taxes.
I know difference between price and value.
My last years investment return was 100% and I'm close to 70% this year already.
The few loans I have, are at 0-5% interest only or I wouldn't have them.
My big expenses are only living expenses, health, and food. Cutting them 25% in 2026.
I did get a finance degree, but not needed at all.
I make Amy D. look like a beginner. I'm not handy like she was though. It's all about getting things cheaper, but making higher return.
I have learned so much stretching every $1 and have enjoyed every moment of it. The reward is not having to go to work. I bought my time back. I still struggle with the work abuse and wish I had left much, much earlier.
I was a great worker too. My ex bosses are still calling me offering a pay raise and lowering duties. Work is going nowhere.
Work is not the only way to make money. Money makes money.
I never wanted to own a business, but go for it.

OP has student loans.

Also 5% loan for someone who doesn't make much is not a good deal unless it's a mortgage. My blue collar immigrant parents never had any loans except for their mortgage, which was double digits.

[Anonymous]

No: your kids are young. The divorce years haven’t hit. You do NOT want to be starting from scratch after years of being unemployed if your husband divorces or leaves you or dies. Keep your job. Keep your income. This is the long game. Do NOT sacrifice your earning abilities to make their lives run smoother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also, don’t let other people on dcum who are scared and don’t know a lot about your life scare you from living the right life for you. Your kids childhood is short your life is short. Do what works for you.

I'm 54 yrs old; DH is 60. I have lived through recessions and lay offs. DH was aged out and laid off.

I think we know more about life than most of you on here. Yes, life is short, but financial stress will make your life worse.

Best thing for OP is to go PT if she can, and if she needs/wants to go back FT, then she will have a foot in the door to do that.

I have been a sahm, wohm, wfh, PT, FT... nanny, daycare... The best scenario is PT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You still have college loans to pay off AND you need to save for THREE kids to go to college.

Sorry, you need to keep working.

This. You need to aggressively pay off your student loans because your first kid starts college in just 8 yrs. Quitting is the exact opposite of what you need to do.

[Anonymous]

Ooof. I get it, OP. As blink 182 said, “work sucks (I know).”

But you have your own student loans and 3 colleges to pay towards lest your own children end up in the same boat. If you wanted to quit work early, you needed to stop at 1 kid or make way more money.

Find a different job. Even if it means dropping from $100k to $80k, it’s better than dropping your family income by 1/3.

[Anonymous]

I also work in healthcare and had worked my way up to a position where I made a good salary but after my hospital became part of a bigger organization, it became absolutely miserable. I had done the whole SAHM thing when DS was little and knew I didn't want to completely stop working as my schedule already allowed me to be home when DS got home from school and I didn't really enjoy not working at all. And while we could live on DH's income and he supported whatever I wanted to do, I didn't like not bringing in some income of my own.

Anyways, I quit and took time to find a job in healthcare that I actually enjoyed. I took a pay cut, which I knew I would. But I am MUCH happier now.