Nobody says 'excuse me' or 'pardon me' anymore

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've noticed this in stores - no one says "excuse me" or "pardon me" if they need to get by, or cross in front of someone. It's not an age thing either - I'm 45, and people my age or older don't say it anymore, either. Younger, all races, skin colors, etc.

My parents were brown immigrants and raised us to have basic manners and courtesy. When did this basic courtesy stop? And why?

I say excuse me and taught my children as well as teaching them to say Please,Thank You. Good morning/, afternoon or evening. I also taught them to hold doors open if someone was behind them.

It is the duty of parents to teach good manners to their children. Sadly, so few Millennials display good manners themselves.

+1 to all of the above

Also:

If you’re on public transit and someone seems to need a seat more than you do, you should offer yours to them.

and

Any time you’re doing any kind of business with someone (including giving the teenager behind the McDonalds counter your order), you call them Sir or Ma’am.

Really? To me sir and ma’am are for older people and it might seem mocking? I’m very polite but don’t do that with young people.

It’s a regional thing, in the south children and some adults use sir or ma’am all the time. IMO everything that is “manners” down can still be window dressing for really rotten/evil culture, but the sir/ma’am thing is mostly benign.

I’m the Sir/Ma’am poster and I’m from Texas which is apparently southern enough for this (although I think of it as a western state). It was just the way I was raised. I don’t think I was ever explicitly told to do it, but everyone around me did it and I unconsciously absorbed it along the way. My parents are nearing their 80s, and they still do it.

I want to make clear, that you only address younger people that way in a business situation. If my kids have friends over, I wouldn’t call them Sir or Ma’am. For that matter, in social situations, I would be unlikely to address older people that way, unless it was a situation with someone I didn’t really know.

[Anonymous]

I’ve been pleasantly surprised by the way my teens say thank you to everyone for everything. If they open the door to pick up our Door Dash order and they see the driver, they call out, “Thank you. Have a nice evening.” Even when we’re together and I’ve just thanked someone, they say it also. It’s kind of amazing how easily manners are taught just by modeling them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:...
Second is to ask someone else to get out of your way. It implies that they were oblivious, and were not getting up for you, or getting out of your way. Or, that they couldn't wait their turn - you were piking out lettuce and they wanted you to move your cart, rather than wait 3 seconds for you to pick up the lettuce and move on. It's a way to get what you want/need either because the other person didn't have manners, or because you are impatient.

Growing up in the DC area, you heard a lot of the first. These days, I hear a lot of the second.

I think you hear a lot of the second because many people ARE living in oblivion! Which is rude to those around you.

If you are in a grocery store and you stop your cart right in the middle of the aisle (so others cannot get around you) while you text someone is flat-out rude and inconsiderate.

I cannot tell you how many times this has happened to me, with people on both sides of the offender trying to get by, saying "Excuse me" and being completely ignored.

[Anonymous]

Where I live people are very polite. What gets me is I go other places and I hold open a door and the other person does not say thank you. WFH. So rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've noticed this in stores - no one says "excuse me" or "pardon me" if they need to get by, or cross in front of someone. It's not an age thing either - I'm 45, and people my age or older don't say it anymore, either. Younger, all races, skin colors, etc.

My parents were brown immigrants and raised us to have basic manners and courtesy. When did this basic courtesy stop? And why?

I say excuse me and taught my children as well as teaching them to say Please,Thank You. Good morning/, afternoon or evening. I also taught them to hold doors open if someone was behind them.

It is the duty of parents to teach good manners to their children. Sadly, so few Millennials display good manners themselves.

+1 to all of the above

Also:

If you’re on public transit and someone seems to need a seat more than you do, you should offer yours to them.

and

Any time you’re doing any kind of business with someone (including giving the teenager behind the McDonalds counter your order), you call them Sir or Ma’am.

Really? To me sir and ma’am are for older people and it might seem mocking? I’m very polite but don’t do that with young people.

It’s a regional thing, in the south children and some adults use sir or ma’am all the time. IMO everything that is “manners” down can still be window dressing for really rotten/evil culture, but the sir/ma’am thing is mostly benign.

Adults do not call young people sir and ma’am though.

They call them "Son" and "Missy"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where I live people are very polite. What gets me is I go other places and I hold open a door and the other person does not say thank you. WFH. So rude.

I always say "My pleasure, Your Majesty" to these people.

[Anonymous]

I just said excuse me to a tween boy who was blocking the aisle in a Target and the Mom or caregiver stared me down with a scowl and said “what”? Like wtf people chill out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where I live people are very polite. What gets me is I go other places and I hold open a door and the other person does not say thank you. WFH. So rude.

Where do you live? I'm in the market.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just said excuse me to a tween boy who was blocking the aisle in a Target and the Mom or caregiver stared me down with a scowl and said “what”? Like wtf people chill out.

I saw a woman whose infant carseat had a handwritten sign on it that said AWW BACK THE F**K UP.

That child's going to turn out great, I'm sure.

[Anonymous]

I am really polite and find that people are generally polite with me, thank me when I hold the door, but I don’t ask people to move out of the way bc people who are that oblivious and block others can be rude and I’d rather a slight detour than nasty small interaction.

[Anonymous]

I agree with OP, but I certainly wouldn’t look to this forum or Northern Virginia for any semblance of manners or politeness. There was a time in NOVA when people were polite and that is long over. As for this forum, never.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just said excuse me to a tween boy who was blocking the aisle in a Target and the Mom or caregiver stared me down with a scowl and said “what”? Like wtf people chill out.

I saw a woman whose infant carseat had a handwritten sign on it that said AWW BACK THE F**K UP.

That child's going to turn out great, I'm sure.

The expletive is a bit too much, but otherwise, I support the sign. Too many people touch other people’s baby when they’re out in public. Infants don’t need your germs on their hands, especially during cold and flu season.

[Anonymous]

When/where did people get this idea that being an inconsiderate and rude person is somehow “easier” than being nice? I find it way more pleasant and easy to move through the world with a smile and kindness than cooking an attitude every chance I get.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just said excuse me to a tween boy who was blocking the aisle in a Target and the Mom or caregiver stared me down with a scowl and said “what”? Like wtf people chill out.

I saw a woman whose infant carseat had a handwritten sign on it that said AWW BACK THE F**K UP.

That child's going to turn out great, I'm sure.

The expletive is a bit too much, but otherwise, I support the sign. Too many people touch other people’s baby when they’re out in public. Infants don’t need your germs on their hands, especially during cold and flu season.

Presumably the parent is right there with the baby so they can just use their words. Why broadcast a scolding message to every single person in the world most of who would never touch your child? It’s like carrying a negative attitude around all day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've noticed this in stores - no one says "excuse me" or "pardon me" if they need to get by, or cross in front of someone. It's not an age thing either - I'm 45, and people my age or older don't say it anymore, either. Younger, all races, skin colors, etc.

My parents were brown immigrants and raised us to have basic manners and courtesy. When did this basic courtesy stop? And why?

I say excuse me and taught my children as well as teaching them to say Please,Thank You. Good morning/, afternoon or evening. I also taught them to hold doors open if someone was behind them.

It is the duty of parents to teach good manners to their children. Sadly, so few Millennials display good manners themselves.

+1 to all of the above

Also:

If you’re on public transit and someone seems to need a seat more than you do, you should offer yours to them.

and

Any time you’re doing any kind of business with someone (including giving the teenager behind the McDonalds counter your order), you call them Sir or Ma’am.

Really? To me sir and ma’am are for older people and it might seem mocking? I’m very polite but don’t do that with young people.

It’s a regional thing, in the south children and some adults use sir or ma’am all the time. IMO everything that is “manners” down can still be window dressing for really rotten/evil culture, but the sir/ma’am thing is mostly benign.

I’m in New England and people say those phrases all the time.