Working moms - are we all pretending that we care?

[Anonymous]

My job is the only thing from keeping us from a homeless shelter so yeah, I care about it. There are a lot of exceptions placed on us (teachers).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find it hard to believe anyone really cares about increasing shareholder value regardless of parental status

Lol this, unless they are getting a lot of direct $$ from it in their comp.

I care about my career as a part of my identity.

The day to day feels mostly pointless in comparison to how much I care about my kids. So I know what you mean OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it hard to believe anyone really cares about increasing shareholder value regardless of parental status

Lol this, unless they are getting a lot of direct $$ from it in their comp.

I care about my career as a part of my identity.

The day to day feels mostly pointless in comparison to how much I care about my kids. So I know what you mean OP.

Sure you care about your kids more, so do I but how much of your time with your kids is sooo incredibly pointless.

Also, depending on age 30%, 40% up top 90% of my time (when they are in HS) is being in the same house not even around my kids. Talk about pointless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Girl, no one actually cares. It’s a game.

This. The vast majority of people (men and women) just pretend to care. It took me ages to figure this out.

[Anonymous]

I dunno. I think some people do care? Or they are very good actors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I dunno. I think some people do care? Or they are very good actors.

Just like some like "pretend play" or "dress up" ... or they are very good actors.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you have a lousy career.

Doctors, teachers, nurses, nonprofit workers, journalists.... we do important things so yes we tend to care about our jobs.

[Anonymous]

I loved being a mom more than my job. My job was a way to earn money for my family. I can make do with very little material things so my choice was to become a SAHM.

But becoming a SAHM was only because we were financially ok without my paycheck.

My 2 cents is that most people work for money and not to make money for the company. Moms who work for pay are putting the need of their family above their own needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find it hard to believe anyone really cares about increasing shareholder value regardless of parental status

I agree but there are a subset of almost exclusively men who deeply deeply care about shareholder value and find great meaning in producing it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you have a lousy career.

Doctors, teachers, nurses, nonprofit workers, journalists.... we do important things so yes we tend to care about our jobs.

I believe my work (public service job) has value and I am grateful and lucky to have found a career that was both meaningful and not all consuming so that I had a good balance. I didn’t miss anything important in my kids’ lives or anything important in my work life.

And now that we’re just about empty nesters, we are continuing to enjoy the balance we created but now instead of kid related things, we travel and do other things.

I never felt the way OP feels. And there are many more careers besides those listed by PP where workers play an important role.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it hard to believe anyone really cares about increasing shareholder value regardless of parental status

I agree but there are a subset of almost exclusively men who deeply deeply care about shareholder value and find great meaning in producing it

I'm a woman who cares about it, but like PP noted, my bonus is tied to shares. I need that price to go up. The shares I had at one of my last companies fully paid for a year of college for my oldest. It meant a lot to me as a DCUM "poor".

[Anonymous]

I care deeply about my work and (almost always) love my job. While it’s not perfect, I generally work on interesting, challenging matters with smart, dedicated colleagues, and we make a positive impact. Not always, but mostly. I feel both lucky and glad to have made the career choices I did at a few key forks in the road.

[Anonymous]

I’ve never felt this way. When I’m working I’m fully invested and not thinking about my kids at all. When I’m with my kids, I’m focused on them and not thinking about work.

I think what you’re experiencing might mean that you don’t value your current job/career. It’s good that you’re realizing this. The question is what next? Job search? Take a break? I think it’s worth looking for a job that you do like.

[Anonymous]

Truthfully, my job helps me to be a better parent. I find that many of the social skills needed to be a great parent are the same kinds of skills needed to be highly effective in a career— so practicing them with adults makes it easier to use them with children.

[Anonymous]

I care about my work, but I also don't work for a company. I work for the government where I believe in our mission and my work builds on itself from day-to-day. I enjoy building this body of work and hope that it contributes to the greater good in some way.