Nobody is empathetic anymore?

[Anonymous]

You aren't helping yourself if you haven't hired a lawyer

[Anonymous]

Op, I understand both sides. I have few of those stories from life where I can see both sides and call them unreasonable (no empathy), but also awesome from another point of view.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:His legs are broken, yours are not. They’re probably annoyed that you can’t work.

But who has to take him to the doctor appointments, trips to the pharmacy?

“Sorry hon, I know we are married but I have to work so call an Uber to the hospital, go get your own medications. Suck it up, hubby. “

Caregiving doesn’t take the whole day. I would not hire OP back because it shows poor time management skills.

[Anonymous]

Put your husband in rehab for a couple weeks and take care of your responsibilities.

[Anonymous]

I'm in a line of work where I hear excuses all the time. This is just a judgement, literally, excuses as in reasons for why someone didn't/couldn't: some are clearly true, some are clearly not, some are unclear.

When you hear lots of excuses, sometimes you become immune to them. Hard to know if you've given any excuses before, but if so, they are probaly just "uh huh"in you. If not, that seems callous on their part.

I don't give a lot of excuses and when I had private clients ina frivolous business I can recall two meetings that I missed in 10 years (just didn't get them right on the calendar or forgot). I profusely apologized promptly, offered a refund/plan immediately, and they were so kind. I believe part of that is they were kind but also that it was a clear blip amidst a flawless record.

I am so sorry about your husband, and I hope he gets well soon, and that you are supported in supporting him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m self employed and my DH was in a serious car wreck last weekend that left both legs broken and he was in the ICU for days. This meant refunding clients and communicating with them when I could. When explaining what was going on very few people said they were sorry or they understood. When telling a client I couldn’t complete their work and to void their check because of what happened I got an “ok” and that was it. I work in a frivolous industry so this isn’t like medicine or law. I’m not looking for attention or anything like that but I’m shocked at the complete lack of any empathy and since Covid it’s something I’ve noticed that people seem to just be indifferent to one another.

Were YOU empathetic about whatever stress and extra burden cancelling your agreements caused them? Your post suggests not. "I work in a frivolous industry so this isn't like medicine or law" implies you bailing on your agreements wasn't allowed to matter to your clients. Check your own self-centered lack of compassion first, OP. I'm sorry life got lifey and lifed you, but you then lifed a bunch of other people who had already fulfilled their part of the bargain. They don't owe you empathy.

There sure does seem to be a lot of 'main character syndrome' going around these days...

+1. The right thing would have been to find a replacement, let the client know, and brief your replacement so they are fully up to speed and can get the work done.

But just a “sorry can’t do it here’s a refund” doesn’t deserve more than a “ok”.

Also weird you are giving specifics - you should just say family emergency and leave it at that.

I’m guessing you do something like social media, which while it may be “frivolous”, many businesses do rely on it to make money. Now the weeks they aren’t getting content, they’re not making sales.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:His legs are broken, yours are not. They’re probably annoyed that you can’t work.

But who has to take him to the doctor appointments, trips to the pharmacy?

“Sorry hon, I know we are married but I have to work so call an Uber to the hospital, go get your own medications. Suck it up, hubby. “

Caregiving doesn’t take the whole day. I would not hire OP back because it shows poor time management skills.

”Hon, I know you have two broken legs but I have to work. Just piss your pants and wallow in your own feces until I get back. Too bad you can’t reach the fridge. Love you, bye!”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:His legs are broken, yours are not. They’re probably annoyed that you can’t work.

But who has to take him to the doctor appointments, trips to the pharmacy?

“Sorry hon, I know we are married but I have to work so call an Uber to the hospital, go get your own medications. Suck it up, hubby. “

Caregiving doesn’t take the whole day. I would not hire OP back because it shows poor time management skills.

Tell me you’ve never been a caregiver without telling me you’ve never been a caregiver. He likely has a very complicated medication regimen around the clock so sleep can be impossible. Plus help with the toilet, dressing changes, general comfort etc. It takes all your time and your soul.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I work in a frivolous industry so this isn’t like medicine or law. I’m not looking for attention or anything like that but I’m shocked at the complete lack of any empathy...

A lesson for you, OP:

The "frivolity" someone spent their hard-earned money on, in this economy, was supposed to bring joy. Now, it's a frustration and a disappointment. Where's your empathy for that? Someone chose your small business/etsy shop/art for something that might make them or someone they care about happy. In this time in history, that's a luxury, sure. If you're going to make moral judgements against it, you shouldn't be selling it. If you're going to sell it, whatever it is, you should understand the privilege you have getting paid to do something "frivolous" and respect the time and energy people are investing in you to buy your goods.

Yes, life happened to you. I'm sorry to hear that. But to expect that people who have already paid you for your work should also carry your emotional burdens is unreasonable. They're not venting their frustrations to you, the source of same. There's their empathy. Did you apologize, profusely, for the inconvenience, disappointment and frustration your breach of contract caused? Probably not. You're projecting really hard onto people who did their part of the job correctly. Work on your own empathy because nobody owes you better than you got here, and you got better than you gave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:His legs are broken, yours are not. They’re probably annoyed that you can’t work.

But who has to take him to the doctor appointments, trips to the pharmacy?

“Sorry hon, I know we are married but I have to work so call an Uber to the hospital, go get your own medications. Suck it up, hubby. “

Caregiving doesn’t take the whole day. I would not hire OP back because it shows poor time management skills.

Tell me you’ve never been a caregiver without telling me you’ve never been a caregiver. He likely has a very complicated medication regimen around the clock so sleep can be impossible. Plus help with the toilet, dressing changes, general comfort etc. It takes all your time and your soul.

Dear OP's sockpuppet: sorry caregiving has you feeling burned out, but it's not your customers' responsibility to lift you up, especially as you bail on your work commitments. Get a therapist or a caregivers support group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What response do you want from a business client.

They hired you. You can't do the work and tell them. They say "ok". Seems like a very reasonable business response.

This. These are not your friends. This is work and that was a reasonable response.

[Anonymous]

No, people don't have much empathy. I don't think this a new thing though, I've experienced this my whole life and I'm in my 50s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m self employed and my DH was in a serious car wreck last weekend that left both legs broken and he was in the ICU for days. This meant refunding clients and communicating with them when I could. When explaining what was going on very few people said they were sorry or they understood. When telling a client I couldn’t complete their work and to void their check because of what happened I got an “ok” and that was it. I work in a frivolous industry so this isn’t like medicine or law. I’m not looking for attention or anything like that but I’m shocked at the complete lack of any empathy and since Covid it’s something I’ve noticed that people seem to just be indifferent to one another.

Were YOU empathetic about whatever stress and extra burden cancelling your agreements caused them? Your post suggests not. "I work in a frivolous industry so this isn't like medicine or law" implies you bailing on your agreements wasn't allowed to matter to your clients. Check your own self-centered lack of compassion first, OP. I'm sorry life got lifey and lifed you, but you then lifed a bunch of other people who had already fulfilled their part of the bargain. They don't owe you empathy.

There sure does seem to be a lot of 'main character syndrome' going around these days...

+1. These are business clients not friends. They are probably used to doing business with larger organizations that have a least some mitigations for scenarios like this in place. Did you even consider the impact that your “frivolous” work has on them? Perhaps delaying their new logo means they need to delay their new product launch which means a month of lost revenue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What response do you want from a business client.

They hired you. You can't do the work and tell them. They say "ok". Seems like a very reasonable business response.

This. These are not your friends. This is work and that was a reasonable response.

This was about to be my response. It’s business. They don’t care about the reason and you didn’t have to give personal details.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:His legs are broken, yours are not. They’re probably annoyed that you can’t work.

But who has to take him to the doctor appointments, trips to the pharmacy?

“Sorry hon, I know we are married but I have to work so call an Uber to the hospital, go get your own medications. Suck it up, hubby. “

Caregiving doesn’t take the whole day. I would not hire OP back because it shows poor time management skills.

Tell me you’ve never been a caregiver without telling me you’ve never been a caregiver. He likely has a very complicated medication regimen around the clock so sleep can be impossible. Plus help with the toilet, dressing changes, general comfort etc. It takes all your time and your soul.

Dear OP's sockpuppet: sorry caregiving has you feeling burned out, but it's not your customers' responsibility to lift you up, especially as you bail on your work commitments. Get a therapist or a caregivers support group.

Wow. You people are literal monsters. We’re talking about basic decency. My financial advisors mother died and needed to reschedule several things. I said « I’m so sorry » and I sent a card because I’m not a monster. I understand that there are more important things in life than whatever I’m doing. I think you could probably use a therapist.