Did I ask for too much?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m confused by some of the responses here. He talks to me about the workings of his life regularly and I provide feedback. He talks to me about problems with his mom for instance. I’ve never met her but that doesn’t stop me from conversing with him about an issue he’s having with her when he brings it up.

I didn’t expect him to be a step-parent. I just expected him to be a friend. I was explaining to him that the problem I was having with my daughter is something I didn’t have with my parents growing up, and inquiring about if it was an issue for him as a kid. I genuinely wanted his feedback even if disagreed with me. in fact disagreement would have been a bonus because I was seeking to learn. Instead he spoke down to me and was a jerk about it.

But do you regularly talk about your kids with him, or was this the first occasion you shared anything substantive about them? If the latter, it’s not the same at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are not confused OP. You don't like that people are disagreeing with you and not feeding into your hurt bird agenda.
You are manipulative.
You are upset that your boyfriend didn't play into the trap you set for him.
And now you are trashing him.
You are toxic.

Why do some women expect so little from relationships? It's not too much to ask your boyfriend to talk to you about your bad day.....sheesh.

It's clearly a troll

[Anonymous]

Fighting with your children is in no way comparable with job trouble. Everyone knows that you can’t criticize someone’s parenting or their children. You are asking your BF to weigh in on the situation seems awfully close. I don’t believe for a minute that you were prepared if the comments were negative.

Also - does he even have kids? Have they faced any challenges that he has dealt with? I kind of hate when people with no kids or perfect kids weigh in. Seems to me that holding back showed good judgment and restraint.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a single mom and my boyfriend has no kids. In dating I don’t introduce my kid to anyone. I talk about my kid here and there to my boyfriend. Recently my kid did something super upsetting, and when my boyfriend asked me about my day I told him about it and asked for his thoughts. He was very flippant towards me during the convo, and said “That’s between you and her dad, you are her parents.”

I was hurt. I’m not asking this guy to help me raise my kid. I was being vulnerable by telling him what was really going on with me. It seemed like he was upset that I am a mom. I don’t get why he signed up for dating me in the first place.

You didn't do anything wrong, and he gave you some very important feedback: he's not that guy. He doesn't want to be that guy.

So if you can continue the relationship without sharing your 'kid life' with him, that's where the line is. Personally, I think his response was immature and dickish, and would be totally turned off, especially if he'd "vented" to me about work, etc. but couldn't hang when I told him about my job. He's not wrong to draw whatever lines he wants, but... that's what you do. You're a parent. If he expects you to never speak about it or ask for feedback about it, well, you need to decide if you're comfortable compartmentalizing your life that way.

I'd dump him. He sounds selfish.

[Anonymous]

He's not interested in anything to do with children. .. Including yours. Move on.

Maybe date men with children moving forward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m confused by some of the responses here. He talks to me about the workings of his life regularly and I provide feedback. He talks to me about problems with his mom for instance. I’ve never met her but that doesn’t stop me from conversing with him about an issue he’s having with her when he brings it up.

I didn’t expect him to be a step-parent. I just expected him to be a friend. I was explaining to him that the problem I was having with my daughter is something I didn’t have with my parents growing up, and inquiring about if it was an issue for him as a kid. I genuinely wanted his feedback even if disagreed with me. in fact disagreement would have been a bonus because I was seeking to learn. Instead he spoke down to me and was a jerk about it.

But do you regularly talk about your kids with him, or was this the first occasion you shared anything substantive about them? If the latter, it’s not the same at all.

Exactly this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are not confused OP. You don't like that people are disagreeing with you and not feeding into your hurt bird agenda.
You are manipulative.
You are upset that your boyfriend didn't play into the trap you set for him.
And now you are trashing him.
You are toxic.

OP, do not listen to this drivel. Your reaction is reasonable. People are projecting their own s*^t all over you.

[Anonymous]

Focus on your parenting, not dating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Focus on your parenting, not dating.

NP. F*ck off.

[Anonymous]

His answer would have been harsh for me the way he said it. I've had it happen before and it doesn't have to be about a child or a person.
Total turn off and I started to see the person in a different light. Usually killed any interest I had or attraction.
It could only look past if with a long term friend or partner if it's out of character. Even then, it lingers for awhile.
Maybe he wanted to meet the child. You chose not to do it, but dump the negative stuff on him. He got right back at you.

[Anonymous]

How did you address this with him? How did he respond?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:His answer would have been harsh for me the way he said it. I've had it happen before and it doesn't have to be about a child or a person.
Total turn off and I started to see the person in a different light. Usually killed any interest I had or attraction.
It could only look past if with a long term friend or partner if it's out of character. Even then, it lingers for awhile.
Maybe he wanted to meet the child. You chose not to do it, but dump the negative stuff on him. He got right back at you.

If he wanted to meet the child he should’ve just had a conversation about his desires. That’s the adult way to handle things in a relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's not a boyfriend. As someone said above, he is a f-buddy.
A boyfriend is also a friend. He doesn't sound like a friend.

This. OP, a good boufriend eould have listened and offered support. He wants nothing to do with yoir kid. Now you have a decision to make.

Op has been treating him as a f buddy. But now he's supposed to play stepdad and regal op with great advice on a child he's never.
Get out of here!

Op. Was and is playing games and her BF read her correctly.

If anything he should break up with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:His answer would have been harsh for me the way he said it. I've had it happen before and it doesn't have to be about a child or a person.
Total turn off and I started to see the person in a different light. Usually killed any interest I had or attraction.
It could only look past if with a long term friend or partner if it's out of character. Even then, it lingers for awhile.
Maybe he wanted to meet the child. You chose not to do it, but dump the negative stuff on him. He got right back at you.

If he wanted to meet the child he should’ve just had a conversation about his desires. That’s the adult way to handle things in a relationship.

If op wants him to help parent her child she should start that conversation and not randomly decide she wants to involve her fbuddy in her parenting drama

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are not confused OP. You don't like that people are disagreeing with you and not feeding into your hurt bird agenda.
You are manipulative.
You are upset that your boyfriend didn't play into the trap you set for him.
And now you are trashing him.
You are toxic.

OP, do not listen to this drivel. Your reaction is reasonable. People are projecting their own s*^t all over you.

Stop sockpuppeting op