My 59 y.o. STBXH is trying to land a 22 y.o.

[Anonymous]

I would have your daughter meet this woman.

A 15 year old girl is perfectly capable of sizing up the situation and dropping a few truth bombs.

I would have done it for my mom, to avoid a 22 year old step mom, and a new half sibling.

I think you should divorce and make an arrangement re: college funding.

Maybe wait until the 22 year old goes home. She might just think he's actually interested in her research. Depends on how slick he is. She could get a rude shock upon arrival.

[Anonymous]

Do you two have a standing policy about your DD meeting your respective dates (or whatever)?

If your DD lives with you full-time, three hours away from her dad and the 22 yr old lives on the other coast, what exactly is his goal/aim (whatever) of introducing them?

What is he thinking to ask for that?

The rest is his problem, not yours. MYOB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Maybe wait until the 22 year old goes home. She might just think he's actually interested in her research. Depends on how slick he is. She could get a rude shock upon arrival.

I believe she totally thinks that he wants to be (only) her mentor. He is very slick and is in an exciting and new specialty. Although at her age I would not have flown cross country to visit a 59 yo "mentor" in his remote home, at least not oblivious to his true intent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you two have a standing policy about your DD meeting your respective dates (or whatever)?

If your DD lives with you full-time, three hours away from her dad and the 22 yr old lives on the other coast, what exactly is his goal/aim (whatever) of introducing them?

What is he thinking to ask for that?

The rest is his problem, not yours. MYOB.

He got the young woman to tutor our daughter online a few weeks ago. They did two sessions. That's his excuse for getting them to meet up in person.
That's how I was introduced to her, that she is the new tutor. Her visit to his home and the rest came only today.

[Anonymous]

Forgot to write OP on the latest two posts.

[Anonymous]

You are WAY too involved in this man’s life.

[Anonymous]

Ugh he is a piece of work.

If you really earn very well then why don’t you divorce? Get rid of the creep. Just keep it civil for your daughter’s sake. She will figure it all out in due time (unfortunately).

[Anonymous]

Tell her parents.

Tell your DD that he is a sick man.

And divorce him.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you knew he was sleazy when you married him, so not sure why you’d expect him to change now. As for the daughter, I’d flatly tell her that her father has been sleeping with girls a few years older than she is and he would like her to meet the latest and that she has my complete support to tell him that he’s a disgusting dirty old man and to go to hell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you knew he was sleazy when you married him, so not sure why you’d expect him to change now. As for the daughter, I’d flatly tell her that her father has been sleeping with girls a few years older than she is and he would like her to meet the latest and that she has my complete support to tell him that he’s a disgusting dirty old man and to go to hell.

Also the fact that you’re still married to him probably makes the girl feel safe. He probably talks about his daughter who is basically her age, and the fact that he’s married.

[Anonymous]

I mean you were the first trophy wife, they always get rid of the trophy wives for new ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell her parents.

Tell your DD that he is a sick man.

And divorce him.

Agree. I would like to know if it were my daughter so I could at least try to intervene.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm trying to process this. The 22 y.o. is a graduate student on the other coast, in my STBX's field. That's his spiel, talking up women in his field online, offering his "help." She looks exactly like me in my twenties.

We have been separated for three years, with no intent of divorcing due to financial entanglements. Plus, it is convenient for him that I continue to take care of everything. We have a 15 year-old daughter who lives with me. He lives 3 hours away close to his job, in a remote area. We own jointly the two very nice houses in which we live.

Now he dropped the bomb that the young woman is going to visit him for a "crash course" in his field, and he wants her to meet our daughter.

I am almost 13 years younger than him. When I met him 20 years ago, he was about to turn 40 and looking at women in their early to mid-twenties. This hasn't changed. I don't know how to handle this.

Yes, you do. Make popcorn and MYOB. Your kid is old enough to see skeevy for what it is, or she might find a cool older friend in this 22-year old. Your moral judgments of your ex (who was, by your own admission, skeevy when you picked him) aren't going to sway your kid, but you meddling, trashtalking him, and acting like a petty B definitely will.

Stay out of it. "Dear STBX, Thank you for the information, and enjoy your time with (kid's name)." It's not like you have any control over it anyway, and losing your mind an dignity trying to control your ex is a losing game all around. Just MYOB. Let him tell on himself. Don't give him the satisfaction of seeing you all het up about it.

He's an ex for a reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are WAY too involved in this man’s life.

THIS.

[Anonymous]

Op, You are only 46, you should try to have some fun too!

You STBXH is way too old, she is way too dumb!