Reply to My 59 y.o. STBXH is trying to land a 22 y.o.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm trying to process this. The 22 y.o. is a graduate student on the other coast, in my STBX's field. That's his spiel, talking up women in his field online, offering his "help." She looks exactly like me in my twenties.

We have been separated for three years, with no intent of divorcing due to financial entanglements. Plus, it is convenient for him that I continue to take care of everything. We have a 15 year-old daughter who lives with me. He lives 3 hours away close to his job, in a remote area. We own jointly the two very nice houses in which we live.

Now he dropped the bomb that the young woman is going to visit him for a "crash course" in his field, and he wants her to meet our daughter.

I am almost 13 years younger than him. When I met him 20 years ago, he was about to turn 40 and looking at women in their early to mid-twenties. This hasn't changed. [b]I don't know how to handle this.[/b][/quote]

Yes, you do. Make popcorn and MYOB. Your kid is old enough to see skeevy for what it is, or she might find a cool older friend in this 22-year old. Your moral judgments of your ex (who was, by your own admission, skeevy when you picked him) aren't going to sway your kid, but you meddling, trashtalking him, and acting like a petty B definitely will.

Stay out of it. "Dear STBX, Thank you for the information, and enjoy your time with (kid's name)." It's not like you have any control over it anyway, and losing your mind an dignity trying to control your ex is a losing game all around. Just MYOB. Let him tell on himself. Don't give him the satisfaction of seeing you all het up about it.

He's an ex for a reason.[/quote]

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