People love saying they’re inclusive of neurodiversity and disability. They’re not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s DEI.

I think you need to work this out with a therapist.

The E stands for equity and it’s more a function of making sure there’s equal pay in the workplace. Not really the point the post is trying to make which is children being included.

Equity is important in school because some kids get an hour of reading lesson and some people get an hour and a half because that’s what they need. That is equity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will vote for politicians who push for money for special ed in all forms. Because I believe that's important. At the same time, I know my limits, and I can't handle kids really deep into the autistic spectrum, I can't change the diaper of a non-baby that's not mine, and I can't handle tantrums and non-verbal kids at a party of 25 kids. Everyone has a bandwidth.

If that birthday party meltdown makes you uncomfortable for all of 15 minutes of your day, imagine how the family must feel day in and day out. Please get some perspective. These are human beings who just want to be included and have some sense of normalcy in their lives. Nobody is asking you to change an elementary aged child’s diaper. We’re asking for a few ounces of grace.

What about when the meltdown is for the entirety of the party? And when the parent of that kid asks for something like all the music to be turned off and everyone to speak in low tones for the two-hour party? Or when the parent asks me to re-light the birthday candles so their kid can blow out my birthday child's candles on their cake because it's good for them to practice blowing out candles? Or when my kid wants to have a sleepover party and one kid is 8 and in diapers but doesn't change them on their own so their parent asks me to do it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m putting this in the relationship forum and not the Kids with Special Needs forum because you need to hear this. Most parents on the other forum already know the following to be the case.

I’m absolutely sick of people in this area, that vote left and love to talk about the benefits of D&I, say that they’re inclusive of neurodivergent individuals. They’re not. They and their children can’t handle literally anything that’s different. There’s invitations for playdates. No reciprocated family invites. Nothing.

You’re free to not invite my child and me on your outings. But really, don’t tow the D&I line and while you’re at it, may as well vote for conservatives and try to save some of your tax dollars. Because everything you think you believe and stand for is just value signaling.

Ma’am, this is a Wendy’s.

[Anonymous]

90% of people don’t talk about neurodiversity and inclusion at all, because they aren’t terminally online. They just live their lives and don’t have time for your problems. The nice ones are happy to pay taxes to help out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m putting this in the relationship forum and not the Kids with Special Needs forum because you need to hear this. Most parents on the other forum already know the following to be the case.

I’m absolutely sick of people in this area, that vote left and love to talk about the benefits of D&I, say that they’re inclusive of neurodivergent individuals. They’re not. They and their children can’t handle literally anything that’s different. There’s invitations for playdates. No reciprocated family invites. Nothing.

You’re free to not invite my child and me on your outings. But really, don’t tow the D&I line and while you’re at it, may as well vote for conservatives and try to save some of your tax dollars. Because everything you think you believe and stand for is just value signaling.

Autistic mother of autistic kids here, and you need to hear this: When you come in hot like this, centering yourself/your family with your "AcCepT OuR AuTiSm!!!" calling people hypocrites and saying they just "can't handle literally anything that's different"...

Nobody cares.

If you want something, ask. If you need something, ask. If you need something and the first person you ask doesn't provide it, keep asking until they do. Yes, it's harder for autistic people to make community. But you know what's not going to help you/your family do that? This fscking attitude. Nobody owes you just because you/your family are autistic. Nobody owes you community, friendship, playdate invites. They're not hypocrites for supporting D&I but not personally supporting you. Maybe they don't like you. They don't have to like you just because you're autistic, and waving the autism flag like it's some sort of magical fastpass into community and friendships is ridiculously naive and entitled af.

It's harder for us to make community. That's why autism is a disability. Some people simply aren't going to know what they don't know, and aren't going to understand what they haven't experienced. And it makes sense that autistic people, and parents/caregivers of autistic people, may not have the resources and/or skills it takes to educate non-autistic people about our needs/wants. But expecting other people to magically provide what you don't ask for, because you feel owed/entitled to it, is always going to be a losing strategy.

I'm sorry you/your kid(s) weren't included. That does suck. Thank the people who didn't include you for that information (about them) and keep moving. You'll find your people faster if you don't spend your time microanalyzing, judging and ranting about those who have already told you they're not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s DEI.

I think you need to work this out with a therapist.

The E stands for equity and it’s more a function of making sure there’s equal pay in the workplace. Not really the point the post is trying to make which is children being included.

Equity is important in school because some kids get an hour of reading lesson and some people get an hour and a half because that’s what they need. That is equity.

Equity would be giving everyone an hour and a half whether they need it or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s taken you this long to learn that most leftists are hypocrites?

I guess it did. Because we are pretty far left and felt that inclusion was important even before having children. Yes, it’s eye opening to see what we’re seeing. I thought it would be different. I was wrong.

You were an idealistic fool. Maturity comes for us all, one way or another.

This. Also often people support things monetarily that they can't do in person themselves for whatever reason. As someone else said these are the nice people. There are a few that support with effort because they understand or they dont have money but care. All the other ones believe in survival of the fittest only.

[Anonymous]

OP are you asking how people vote? Do you think you'd have better luck with republicans? You wouldn't. Some voted for a guy who thinks his impressions of those will special needs are accurate, funny and not offensive. So there's that. No political party will mandate forcible play/inclusion. If your kids or you are annoying or can't adhere to certain behaviours, you won't be invited. That's a basic fact, regardless of if a person is neurodiverse/disabled. Some people don't have disabilities/neurodivergence and still won't get invited- why? They are a-holes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s DEI.

I think you need to work this out with a therapist.

The E stands for equity and it’s more a function of making sure there’s equal pay in the workplace. Not really the point the post is trying to make which is children being included.

Equity is important in school because some kids get an hour of reading lesson and some people get an hour and a half because that’s what they need. That is equity.

Equity would be giving everyone an hour and a half whether they need it or not.

No that is equality. Equity is giving everyone what they need to be on the same level. Equality is giving everyone the same resources.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s taken you this long to learn that most leftists are hypocrites?

Hypocrites or not, I have found progressives to be much more tolerant of my DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s taken you this long to learn that most leftists are hypocrites?

I guess it did. Because we are pretty far left and felt that inclusion was important even before having children. Yes, it’s eye opening to see what we’re seeing. I thought it would be different. I was wrong.

DP. I feel the same way, OP. You must grieve for it but also keep your chin up. You can help create the world that you want to see.

[Anonymous]

My father felt the same way as you, so growing up, I DID go out of my way to include everyone. I was in my thirties before I realized that my needs and feelings mattered too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s DEI.

I think you need to work this out with a therapist.

The E stands for equity and it’s more a function of making sure there’s equal pay in the workplace. Not really the point the post is trying to make which is children being included.

Equity is important in school because some kids get an hour of reading lesson and some people get an hour and a half because that’s what they need. That is equity.

Equity would be giving everyone an hour and a half whether they need it or not.

That’s equality, not equity. Educate yourself.

https://interactioninstitute.org/illustrating-equality-vs-equity/

[Anonymous]

Love how everyone assumes OP is talking about autism. And if they are, that their child is more than mildly affected.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My father felt the same way as you, so growing up, I DID go out of my way to include everyone. I was in my thirties before I realized that my needs and feelings mattered too.

Not everyone. Everyone, however, can see that OP is judgmental, critical, angry, self-focused and not at all considerate of other people’s needs. She implies other people don’t have needs compared to hers. From that deduction, it seems like her child has at least a moderate challenge.