How much financial help are you really giving your adult children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know people (30 plus) whose parents are paying for their down payment, co signing mortgages, paying for their grandkids braces, daycare, vacations, ivf, co signing on cars etc. a lot of these people would never admit to how much parental help they are getting despite having “good” jobs.

Wait, all of these people don’t “admit it” how do you know this?

Much of my life is funded by the wealth of previous generations. If anyone asked I would readily admit it, but it’s not like I volunteer that information because that is weird if nobody asked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know people (30 plus) whose parents are paying for their down payment, co signing mortgages, paying for their grandkids braces, daycare, vacations, ivf, co signing on cars etc. a lot of these people would never admit to how much parental help they are getting despite having “good” jobs.

Wait, all of these people don’t “admit it” how do you know this?

Much of my life is funded by the wealth of previous generations. If anyone asked I would readily admit it, but it’s not like I volunteer that information because that is weird if nobody asked.

They’ll brag about their career success and buying a house but if you check records you’ll see their parents as a co-signer on their mortgage.

[Anonymous]

My adult child just graduated college and has been living on his own for one year. I pay his cell phone, his car insurance, his health insurance, all travel that is family related, and some medical expenses. He pays everything else, but as someone else said, I am a failsafe and wouldn't let him go hungry or without a place to live....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know people (30 plus) whose parents are paying for their down payment, co signing mortgages, paying for their grandkids braces, daycare, vacations, ivf, co signing on cars etc. a lot of these people would never admit to how much parental help they are getting despite having “good” jobs.

Wait, all of these people don’t “admit it” how do you know this?

Much of my life is funded by the wealth of previous generations. If anyone asked I would readily admit it, but it’s not like I volunteer that information because that is weird if nobody asked.

NP- I know about people like these because of my mil: her friends tell her (they brag really!) about all the help and money they have given their kids, down to the details.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not much because I think it's better not to. Meals out together, flights home, and $100 at birthdays.

Of course, what I'm really providing is a risk backstop. They know if anything truly horrible happened (like say, cancer) I would step in as needed. And this has economic value and peace of mind even if never used or even noticed.

This!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know people (30 plus) whose parents are paying for their down payment, co signing mortgages, paying for their grandkids braces, daycare, vacations, ivf, co signing on cars etc. a lot of these people would never admit to how much parental help they are getting despite having “good” jobs.

Wait, all of these people don’t “admit it” how do you know this?

Much of my life is funded by the wealth of previous generations. If anyone asked I would readily admit it, but it’s not like I volunteer that information because that is weird if nobody asked.

NP- I know about people like these because of my mil: her friends tell her (they brag really!) about all the help and money they have given their kids, down to the details.

Ok but how do you know these people won't admit it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know people (30 plus) whose parents are paying for their down payment, co signing mortgages, paying for their grandkids braces, daycare, vacations, ivf, co signing on cars etc. a lot of these people would never admit to how much parental help they are getting despite having “good” jobs.

Wait, all of these people don’t “admit it” how do you know this?

Much of my life is funded by the wealth of previous generations. If anyone asked I would readily admit it, but it’s not like I volunteer that information because that is weird if nobody asked.

They’ll brag about their career success and buying a house but if you check records you’ll see their parents as a co-signer on their mortgage.

Oh so you check?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know people (30 plus) whose parents are paying for their down payment, co signing mortgages, paying for their grandkids braces, daycare, vacations, ivf, co signing on cars etc. a lot of these people would never admit to how much parental help they are getting despite having “good” jobs.

Wait, all of these people don’t “admit it” how do you know this?

Much of my life is funded by the wealth of previous generations. If anyone asked I would readily admit it, but it’s not like I volunteer that information because that is weird if nobody asked.

NP- I know about people like these because of my mil: her friends tell her (they brag really!) about all the help and money they have given their kids, down to the details.

Ok but how do you know these people won't admit it?

Ime people do not like to mention their parents help them. I'm also not questioning people about it for them to "admit" it to me!

[Anonymous]

Bought DS a practical new car when he graduated from college. Is on our family cell plan and stays with us on vacation and between moves to different programs and fellowships (scientist). We have purchased his electronic devices for birthday and holiday gifts. Otherwise, he has supported himself since college graduation. We will be happy to help with a wedding or downpayment when that happens. He's been a great son to us and a terrific brother to his severely autistic sister.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know people (30 plus) whose parents are paying for their down payment, co signing mortgages, paying for their grandkids braces, daycare, vacations, ivf, co signing on cars etc. a lot of these people would never admit to how much parental help they are getting despite having “good” jobs.

Wait, all of these people don’t “admit it” how do you know this?

Much of my life is funded by the wealth of previous generations. If anyone asked I would readily admit it, but it’s not like I volunteer that information because that is weird if nobody asked.

They’ll brag about their career success and buying a house but if you check records you’ll see their parents as a co-signer on their mortgage.

Oh so you check?

That's pathetic, pp.

[Anonymous]

People who plan to help with weddings and downpayments, how much are you budgeting per kid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We gave our only DS our McLean house, worth about 3M, when he got married at the age of 27. We also set aside 1M for their kids future education, and paid off my DIL 80K in student loan (DS was college’s debt free). DW and I live in a two bedrooms condo. YMMV.

Those are life-changing gifts. So you downsized into a condo and transferred the title to your son and DIL? Any cost to him or you for this transfer? We are in a similar position with our DS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We gave our only DS our McLean house, worth about 3M, when he got married at the age of 27. We also set aside 1M for their kids future education, and paid off my DIL 80K in student loan (DS was college’s debt free). DW and I live in a two bedrooms condo. YMMV.

What's your net worth? How nice is the 2-bedroom condo? Your example seems extreme, but if it's not a big percentage of your net worth and you're still able to enjoy your retirement, then it sounds great. Also, your DIL scored by marrying into your family!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People who plan to help with weddings and downpayments, how much are you budgeting per kid?

$100k. Not much with today's prices, I know.

[Anonymous]

3 kids (34/31/27)

- #1. 250k plus paid for all education related costs (phd) - fully employed
- #2 250k plus paid for all education related costs (phd also) - fully employed
- #3 250k plus medical school (MD) - residency

we are done supporting at this point unless they need emergency help