I married money and regret it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
He is an active father but sucks at anything house related. I do all the shopping, cooking, managing outsourcing crews, 95% of the childcare, scheduling/taking kids to appointments, handling childcare.

I work part time making 60k. He works full time and makes 400-500k a year.

I have full access to our money.

I just want him to step up more with the household labor. He has said he is busy working to support our family to give me the ability to stay home.

What’s active about his fathering? He does the fun stuff while you do all the grunt work?

He is up in the morning with us. He helps get the kids ready. He is active when he’s at home. He helps put the kids to bed. He doesn’t help clean up, schedule appointments, or do the bulk of making parenting decisions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
He is an active father but sucks at anything house related. I do all the shopping, cooking, managing outsourcing crews, 95% of the childcare, scheduling/taking kids to appointments, handling childcare.

I work part time making 60k. He works full time and makes 400-500k a year.

I have full access to our money.

I just want him to step up more with the household labor. He has said he is busy working to support our family to give me the ability to stay home.

What’s active about his fathering? He does the fun stuff while you do all the grunt work?

He is up in the morning with us. He helps get the kids ready. He is active when he’s at home. He helps put the kids to bed. He doesn’t help clean up, schedule appointments, or do the bulk of making parenting decisions.

You have to be a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:. He works full time and makes 400-500k a year.

I have full access to our money.

DCUM Women are experts at making their lives difficult and overwhelming for no reason.

I’d recommend hiring help but you’d give yourself a nervous breakdown micromanaging the help you hired to micromanage the help.

[Anonymous]

Imagine having less money and being in the same spot. That is most people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
He is an active father but sucks at anything house related. I do all the shopping, cooking, managing outsourcing crews, 95% of the childcare, scheduling/taking kids to appointments, handling childcare.

I work part time making 60k. He works full time and makes 400-500k a year.

I have full access to our money.

I just want him to step up more with the household labor. He has said he is busy working to support our family to give me the ability to stay home.

What’s active about his fathering? He does the fun stuff while you do all the grunt work?

He is up in the morning with us. He helps get the kids ready. He is active when he’s at home. He helps put the kids to bed. He doesn’t help clean up, schedule appointments, or do the bulk of making parenting decisions.

This is not that bad. Many women do it all and work and don’t have a lot of money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You haven't said anything that lets us offer helpful feedback.

What responsibility are you shouldering? How big a paycheck? What access do you have to the money he makes? ARE you expecting too much? Can't say without knowing what you expect.

He is an active father but sucks at anything house related. I do all the shopping, cooking, managing outsourcing crews, 95% of the childcare, scheduling/taking kids to appointments, handling childcare.

I work part time making 60k. He works full time and makes 400-500k a year.

I have full access to our money.

I just want him to step up more with the household labor. He has said he is busy working to support our family to give me the ability to stay home.

Can you stop working or cut back your hours more?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get a nanny get a job fixed it for you
I he doesn’t like that idea do it anyway

This!

[Anonymous]

if i didnt have to clean or cook, i would be happy to do everything else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
He is an active father but sucks at anything house related. I do all the shopping, cooking, managing outsourcing crews, 95% of the childcare, scheduling/taking kids to appointments, handling childcare.

I work part time making 60k. He works full time and makes 400-500k a year.

I have full access to our money.

I just want him to step up more with the household labor. He has said he is busy working to support our family to give me the ability to stay home.

What’s active about his fathering? He does the fun stuff while you do all the grunt work?

He is up in the morning with us. He helps get the kids ready. He is active when he’s at home. He helps put the kids to bed. He doesn’t help clean up, schedule appointments, or do the bulk of making parenting decisions.

I think most fathers are like him. Minus getting kids ready, and minus putting them to bed. So basically, most dads do almost nothing except take out the trash, do some runs to a store or a game here and there, and if real lucky, doing occasional plates only but no pots.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You haven't said anything that lets us offer helpful feedback.

What responsibility are you shouldering? How big a paycheck? What access do you have to the money he makes? ARE you expecting too much? Can't say without knowing what you expect.

He is an active father but sucks at anything house related. I do all the shopping, cooking, managing outsourcing crews, 95% of the childcare, scheduling/taking kids to appointments, handling childcare.

I work part time making 60k. He works full time and makes 400-500k a year.

I have full access to our money.

I just want him to step up more with the household labor. He has said he is busy working to support our family to give me the ability to stay home.

Hire help or you have help so what is the issue? Manage the crew? really? How many hours does he have to work for that income. You could have him make half that and help more....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I married mostly for a good life and regret it. I shoulder almost all of the responsibility with little help from my husband. He isn't on board with taking on any more work because he brings in the big paycheck. I don't want to divorce but I feel overwhelmed. I sometimes wonder if I'm the problem and just expect too much.

It's this. Expectations.

You thought money would = "a good life." It doesn't.

You are not at all alone in making this mistake.

[Anonymous]

Why are you working for $60k when he makes $500k? You have everything you need for a good life for you and your family. I don’t get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
He is an active father but sucks at anything house related. I do all the shopping, cooking, managing outsourcing crews, 95% of the childcare, scheduling/taking kids to appointments, handling childcare.

I work part time making 60k. He works full time and makes 400-500k a year.

I have full access to our money.

I just want him to step up more with the household labor. He has said he is busy working to support our family to give me the ability to stay home.

What’s active about his fathering? He does the fun stuff while you do all the grunt work?

He is up in the morning with us. He helps get the kids ready. He is active when he’s at home. He helps put the kids to bed. He doesn’t help clean up, schedule appointments, or do the bulk of making parenting decisions.

He should be helping with maintenance clean up like putting dirty dishes in the dishwasher. He should not be scrubbing toilets - you should outsource the deep cleaning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
He is an active father but sucks at anything house related. I do all the shopping, cooking, managing outsourcing crews, 95% of the childcare, scheduling/taking kids to appointments, handling childcare.

I work part time making 60k. He works full time and makes 400-500k a year.

I have full access to our money.

I just want him to step up more with the household labor. He has said he is busy working to support our family to give me the ability to stay home.

What’s active about his fathering? He does the fun stuff while you do all the grunt work?

He is up in the morning with us. He helps get the kids ready. He is active when he’s at home. He helps put the kids to bed. He doesn’t help clean up, schedule appointments, or do the bulk of making parenting decisions.

I think most fathers are like him. Minus getting kids ready, and minus putting them to bed. So basically, most dads do almost nothing except take out the trash, do some runs to a store or a game here and there, and if real lucky, doing occasional plates only but no pots.

No, most fathers are very involved but high income usually means working a lot and its a compromise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
He is an active father but sucks at anything house related. I do all the shopping, cooking, managing outsourcing crews, 95% of the childcare, scheduling/taking kids to appointments, handling childcare.

I work part time making 60k. He works full time and makes 400-500k a year.

I have full access to our money.

I just want him to step up more with the household labor. He has said he is busy working to support our family to give me the ability to stay home.

What’s active about his fathering? He does the fun stuff while you do all the grunt work?

He is up in the morning with us. He helps get the kids ready. He is active when he’s at home. He helps put the kids to bed. He doesn’t help clean up, schedule appointments, or do the bulk of making parenting decisions.

I think most fathers are like him. Minus getting kids ready, and minus putting them to bed. So basically, most dads do almost nothing except take out the trash, do some runs to a store or a game here and there, and if real lucky, doing occasional plates only but no pots.

No, most fathers are very involved but high income usually means working a lot and its a compromise.

You must not read this forum very often if you think that’s true.