Easter and atheist MIL?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand. Easter isn't a holiday to her so it's nothing to give.

If you were Jewish and celebrating for Passover or Muslim and celebrating Eid no one in their right mind would ask you to give it up for a secular good old time with them. Explain that this is your tradition for your holiday and again, she is welcome, but you will have to get together another time. Re-invite her, if she says no propose a new time, and be done with it. Your DH should be handling this.

Easter is a holiday for anyone. Everyone can hunt for eggs, eat chocolate bunnies, and have ham and deviled eggs.

This is a power play and the MIL wants to manipulate and control.

I realize this. We "celebrate" with baskets and a meal but are not religious. It sounds like it means nothing to her and she doesn't celebrate at all.

Or OP, does she celebrate in a secular way?

Yes! Last year she had a little basket with baby toys and claims she has one this year. She just won’t attend because we are religious and she feels our day is religion-focused.

"Mom, Easter is a very important day in our family's spiritual life. I understand that you do not want to attend church, and I respect your beliefs. You are welcome to join us for the egg hunt, etc. I do want you to understand that we will pray before our meal, and there will probably be some other times when people speak about faith related things. If you are uncomfortable with that, we will look forward to seeing you another time. If you want to participate in Easter with Little Larla, you need to understand that this is not a secular occasion for us. We will not be trading off celebrating in a secular/spiritual way. Let me know if you'll be joining for any part of the day."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand. Easter isn't a holiday to her so it's nothing to give.

If you were Jewish and celebrating for Passover or Muslim and celebrating Eid no one in their right mind would ask you to give it up for a secular good old time with them. Explain that this is your tradition for your holiday and again, she is welcome, but you will have to get together another time. Re-invite her, if she says no propose a new time, and be done with it. Your DH should be handling this.

Easter is a holiday for anyone. Everyone can hunt for eggs, eat chocolate bunnies, and have ham and deviled eggs.

This is a power play and the MIL wants to manipulate and control.

I realize this. We "celebrate" with baskets and a meal but are not religious. It sounds like it means nothing to her and she doesn't celebrate at all.

Or OP, does she celebrate in a secular way?

Sounds like you don’t celebrate either. You’re just doing cultural appropriation so your atheist self doesn’t feel left out.

You know you guys appropriated this from the pagans, right? Just checking.

[Anonymous]

Spend Orthodox Easter with MIL.

[Anonymous]

Ooof. Imagine your kid ending up with a nutter. That’s got to be disappointing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Spend Orthodox Easter with MIL.

It’s the same as Wester this year!

[Anonymous]

So let her refuse and still or whatever. If Easter is important to you and your family, then it is important to you and your family. She can have next weekend to - celebrate? Considering she keeps saying this is not a celebration or high holiday / holy day at all. She can’t have it both ways. Easter is a Christian holiday, and the most important of the year. To her is should be like any other Tuesday if she is as atheist as she professes to be.

You have given her an option - celebrate with you or don’t. It’s that easy. She has a choice and she is trying to force you into a theirs which does not fit your values. Set that boundary. See her next weekend for something secular and fun.

Jesus would teach kindness, he would not teach being a doormat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Spend Orthodox Easter with MIL.

It’s the same as Wester this year!

+1

It’s a big weekend!

[Anonymous]

Look, I will ALWAYS vote against a MIL but plenty of atheists celebrate Easter and Christmas. We do Easter egg hunts and Santa. Easter is about the Easter bunny and spring and baby animals and hope and the plants and animals coming alive after winter. Atheists can love Easter and want to celebrate it with family members. We love it at my house. And I feel just as entitled to it as Christians. But MIL could have her Easter with her grandchild on Saturday or the weekend before or after, probably.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look, I will ALWAYS vote against a MIL but plenty of atheists celebrate Easter and Christmas. We do Easter egg hunts and Santa. Easter is about the Easter bunny and spring and baby animals and hope and the plants and animals coming alive after winter. Atheists can love Easter and want to celebrate it with family members. We love it at my house. And I feel just as entitled to it as Christians. But MIL could have her Easter with her grandchild on Saturday or the weekend before or after, probably.

“Loving” it and marking/ observing it as a significant time in your faith are totally different things, though. I understand you’re able to see the difference with your post, but apparently OPs MIL cannot. She’s trying to hijack the most important weekend of the Christian calendar without even acknowledging that the weekend is only significant to her because of the Christian calendar.

I get being an atheist, but there should be nothing uncomfortable about sharing in these special holidays. She should actually feel honoured to be included in the celebrations despite her opposing views.

[Anonymous]

It’s really up to her if she’s choosing her preference not to be around religion over her grandchild. As has been stated, plenty of atheists spend Christmas/Easter with families. Plenty of Christian’s attend bar/bat mitzvahs. etc. Just don’t engage in drama over this. “We understand you do not want to join us on Easter and of course that’s fine. We would love to do something another day.”

She sounds unreasonable so this is not really about her being atheist, it’s bigger than that. You’ll need to get good at identifying and holding a boundary with her.

[Anonymous]

If she doesn’t celebrate Easter, then it is just another Sunday to her. Since it is just another Sunday to her, do not involve her in your family’s religious celebration, and make plans with her the following Sunday.

[Anonymous]

Be prepared for MIL to try to wreck another holiday. I think inviting your own parents, or others, to your next holiday could diminish the witch's chances of succeeding in canceling it.

[Anonymous]

So you have church, egg hunt then dinner and games etc. Why can't she skip church?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you have church, egg hunt then dinner and games etc. Why can't she skip church?

Because she wants to control the whole day. It’s her turn, after all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am Christian and my family celebrates Easter in a big way. My nieces and nephews all have spring break that falls over Easter so they come in to town, and everyone spends the day together in a big way. My DH is completely on board. This is our second year since having a baby, and now MIL (FIL is deceased) wants us/me to change our/my plans to accommodate her. The thing is, we have invited her to spend the day with my family. We attend church and then after there is an egg hunt, which our DC will enjoy for the first time this year, and then we go back to our house and have dinner, play games, etc. MIL refuses to come along because she’s atheist, and says it makes her uncomfortable. She’s very vocal about being anti-religion. She’s very upset we won’t “give” her this Easter with DC since we had last year. The offer stood last year and it stands this year. She’s currently guilt tripping DH in a major way right now and we both wonder what to do.

The only part of your day that is religious is church. She doesn't need to go to church.