Ideas for little things to accidentally do when you’re not happy with spouse

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm all in favor of men doing their share but don't understand this post. What are you asking for? For him to find part time child care help?

If so, might I suggest that, rather than hiding his clothes, you just realistically think about what's fair and what you are capable of doing, and then tell him. So if it\s too hard to manage laundry because you are pregnant and have another child tell him that: honey, I'm too exhausted to keep doing your laundry so you'll have to do it. Maybe I'll be able to get back to it once you find us that extra child care I've been talking about. Repeat as necessary for things like making his dinner, cleaning up, doing errands for him, etc.

She’s asking him to contact his HR to find out if they have a back up childcare benefit. She can’t do that for him.

[Anonymous]

Immature? Silly? You are a sociopath. I feel sorry for your future child as well as you DS. What a nightmare.

[Anonymous]

Super immature behavior by both of you…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm all in favor of men doing their share but don't understand this post. What are you asking for? For him to find part time child care help?

If so, might I suggest that, rather than hiding his clothes, you just realistically think about what's fair and what you are capable of doing, and then tell him. So if it\s too hard to manage laundry because you are pregnant and have another child tell him that: honey, I'm too exhausted to keep doing your laundry so you'll have to do it. Maybe I'll be able to get back to it once you find us that extra child care I've been talking about. Repeat as necessary for things like making his dinner, cleaning up, doing errands for him, etc.

She’s asking him to contact his HR to find out if they have a back up childcare benefit. She can’t do that for him.

DP, Our HR benefits responds to spouses on the plan. That, of course, is a different issue than how house/kid stuff should be split between spouses

[Anonymous]

Stop it. you're hormonal. unless you are trying to head for divorce and want to do 100% of it on your own and work full time with less than half the money you have now.
and believe me, that situation sucks. i know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm all in favor of men doing their share but don't understand this post. What are you asking for? For him to find part time child care help?

If so, might I suggest that, rather than hiding his clothes, you just realistically think about what's fair and what you are capable of doing, and then tell him. So if it\s too hard to manage laundry because you are pregnant and have another child tell him that: honey, I'm too exhausted to keep doing your laundry so you'll have to do it. Maybe I'll be able to get back to it once you find us that extra child care I've been talking about. Repeat as necessary for things like making his dinner, cleaning up, doing errands for him, etc.

She’s asking him to contact his HR to find out if they have a back up childcare benefit. She can’t do that for him.

Op here. Exactly and it would help a lot if the younger one could go to daycare more. He goes to preschool 3 days a week. My work has 21 days of backup childcare and it resets every year. I pay a $10 copay. I know in the past his work pays for a care.com membership. You need to login in with work email. I can’t look into it myself as this is something he needs to find out and get access from HR for. His company generates 95 billion a year. I would be surprised if my work benefit is better. The daycare we use has a lot of spots so they are happy we are using the backup option each week. Dh complains the little one is too loud, wild etc when he works from home. It would benefit us all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never do something just to piss off my spouse.

I also would never do an adult’s laundry. Why do you treat him like a child?

Really? We do family laundry. My husband mine all the time.

Then clearly, your husband wouldn’t wake up one day, wondering why he doesn’t have underwear because he does laundry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Title says it all and I know it’s immature. I’m near the end of my pregnancy and dh is making me mad because he’s not helpful and he works constantly even though he has a normal 9-5 job. He spends hours in the house office after work and on the weekends. We already have one child. I have been asking him for MONTHS to look into backup childcare benefit for his work from care.com as my job has a great one and I’m almost positive his company has backup as well. We pay a copay for backup childcare. It’s been working well with my job. We send our preschooler on 4 times a month to a daycare and he loves it. The daycare is fine with us using it like this. His company is a lot larger and I know in the past we got a care.com membership through his work. Anyway today I decided to hide all his dirty clothes. I usually do the laundry and the cooking. Once he runs outs of underwear it’s going to be funny when he comes and asks me where I put the clean ones. I know I am being immature but I was hoping some of you highly educated people could help me out with some more ideas. I’m home bound and it’s really hard!

This isn’t cute at all. Stop it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never do something just to piss off my spouse.

I also would never do an adult’s laundry. Why do you treat him like a child?

Really? We do family laundry. My husband mine all the time.

Then clearly, your husband wouldn’t wake up one day, wondering why he doesn’t have underwear because he does laundry.

Uh ok. I was responding to the comment/question on why she would do an adult’s laundry because that’s like treating someone like a child. Did you post that? Sounds like you have some issues with logic and anger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm all in favor of men doing their share but don't understand this post. What are you asking for? For him to find part time child care help?

If so, might I suggest that, rather than hiding his clothes, you just realistically think about what's fair and what you are capable of doing, and then tell him. So if it\s too hard to manage laundry because you are pregnant and have another child tell him that: honey, I'm too exhausted to keep doing your laundry so you'll have to do it. Maybe I'll be able to get back to it once you find us that extra child care I've been talking about. Repeat as necessary for things like making his dinner, cleaning up, doing errands for him, etc.

She’s asking him to contact his HR to find out if they have a back up childcare benefit. She can’t do that for him.

DP, Our HR benefits responds to spouses on the plan. That, of course, is a different issue than how house/kid stuff should be split between spouses

I’ve never heard of this and I’ve never contacted my spouses HR. Her husband can take a few seconds out of his day and email HR. She’s carrying a baby for 9 months and he can’t spend a few minutes sending an email. Ridiculous

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop it. you're hormonal. unless you are trying to head for divorce and want to do 100% of it on your own and work full time with less than half the money you have now.
and believe me, that situation sucks. i know.

I’m sure her husband is going to divorce her for hiding his laundry. According to someone above it makes her a sociopath. Y’all are pathetic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm all in favor of men doing their share but don't understand this post. What are you asking for? For him to find part time child care help?

If so, might I suggest that, rather than hiding his clothes, you just realistically think about what's fair and what you are capable of doing, and then tell him. So if it\s too hard to manage laundry because you are pregnant and have another child tell him that: honey, I'm too exhausted to keep doing your laundry so you'll have to do it. Maybe I'll be able to get back to it once you find us that extra child care I've been talking about. Repeat as necessary for things like making his dinner, cleaning up, doing errands for him, etc.

She’s asking him to contact his HR to find out if they have a back up childcare benefit. She can’t do that for him.

DP, Our HR benefits responds to spouses on the plan. That, of course, is a different issue than how house/kid stuff should be split between spouses

I’ve never heard of this and I’ve never contacted my spouses HR. Her husband can take a few seconds out of his day and email HR. She’s carrying a baby for 9 months and he can’t spend a few minutes sending an email. Ridiculous

Stating the obvious, just because you haven’t heard of it doesn’t mean it’s not happening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop it. you're hormonal. unless you are trying to head for divorce and want to do 100% of it on your own and work full time with less than half the money you have now.
and believe me, that situation sucks. i know.

I’m sure her husband is going to divorce her for hiding his laundry. According to someone above it makes her a sociopath. Y’all are pathetic.

You must have really horrible relationships to indulgence this childish BS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm all in favor of men doing their share but don't understand this post. What are you asking for? For him to find part time child care help?

If so, might I suggest that, rather than hiding his clothes, you just realistically think about what's fair and what you are capable of doing, and then tell him. So if it\s too hard to manage laundry because you are pregnant and have another child tell him that: honey, I'm too exhausted to keep doing your laundry so you'll have to do it. Maybe I'll be able to get back to it once you find us that extra child care I've been talking about. Repeat as necessary for things like making his dinner, cleaning up, doing errands for him, etc.

She’s asking him to contact his HR to find out if they have a back up childcare benefit. She can’t do that for him.

DP, Our HR benefits responds to spouses on the plan. That, of course, is a different issue than how house/kid stuff should be split between spouses

I’ve never heard of this and I’ve never contacted my spouses HR. Her husband can take a few seconds out of his day and email HR. She’s carrying a baby for 9 months and he can’t spend a few minutes sending an email. Ridiculous

The laundry thing isn’t the best idea but her husband isn’t pulling his weight. Sounds like she’s working full time without full time childcare. Her husbands job may have a way to give them more childcare but dh is too busy and lazy to email hr. I would be pissed if I was pregnant and this happened to me. She needs a break now more than ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop it. you're hormonal. unless you are trying to head for divorce and want to do 100% of it on your own and work full time with less than half the money you have now.
and believe me, that situation sucks. i know.

I’m sure her husband is going to divorce her for hiding his laundry. According to someone above it makes her a sociopath. Y’all are pathetic.

I would divorce in a heartbeat if my spouse did something that petty while I was trying to go about the business of living life. That is someone who will just drag a spouse down. What a loser you are OP.