When do you tell kids about family money?

[Anonymous]

How do you know this? It is quite easy to blow through $1M with healthcare expenses.

[Anonymous]

I give the money to charity so they don't have this problem.

[Anonymous]

Why do your children deserve your money more than you do?

[Anonymous]

You don’t need to worry about it. The grandparents 2M isn’t really that much. And the 5M each is so far off that it doesn’t matter. It could be a lot more or nothing at all.

Telling your kids anything about it is silly and pretentious, as if you’re telling Simba that he’s inheriting the Serengeti.

Just raise them normally and stop telling everyone they’re sore losers because 2 generations of your family together are worth a whopping 14M (maybe).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don’t need to worry about it. The grandparents 2M isn’t really that much. And the 5M each is so far off that it doesn’t matter. It could be a lot more or nothing at all.

Telling your kids anything about it is silly and pretentious, as if you’re telling Simba that he’s inheriting the Serengeti.

Just raise them normally and stop telling everyone they’re sore losers because 2 generations of your family together are worth a whopping 14M (maybe).

You're the only one who thinks people are losers because they're not like OP. Do you have a hard time watching the Olympics because you can't do gymnastics like Simone Biles?

[Anonymous]

I've told my kids from their early teens that we have a stock portfolio and that it's virtual money, but barring Act of God (and there could very well be one), one day some of it will be theirs. Right now there's 20M. They understand the basics of the market. They understand it can be wiped out in a second, or grow to 100M+ easily. They understand eldercare costs an arm and a leg. They understand there are other beneficiaries than just them.

They are frugal people, since our disposable income is actually rather low, and have good financial judgment. No reason not to tell them.

[Anonymous]

Unless this money is in trusts they can have access to soon/before gparents or you guys pass, it doesn't really matter too much.

[Anonymous]

Maybe find some really good charitable causes where you can make a big difference instead of giving your kids so much. They would be well enough off with $2m each

You don’t want to disincentivize them to work. I work with/for very rich people and I see some of these grown kids and it doesn’t end well

[Anonymous]

I was 39 when my parents told me I stand to inherit from my grandparents (still living) and approximately 10 million from my parents. I knew one of my grandparents was wealthy but literally had no idea my parents are so wealthy.

I’m glad they didn’t tell me sooner because it may have led me to not save as much. Even if they use all the money themselves, I’ll be fine (and so will my kids).

[Anonymous]

OP I’m an adult child and I really only know details about assets that are already outside of my parents estates. So that’s a few trusts where I’m already a beneficiary, but don’t have control.

The assets that are still theirs aren’t really good for planning because anything could happen and I hope they’ll live a really long time! I could be retired myself before my parents pass away.

So I think straight inheritance affecting life planning is really a grand generation thing. Or it’s because of tragic early deaths.

What they’ve been way more clear about and what is crucial for planning is knowing about gifts during their lifetime - college tuition, grad school tuition and support, housing support, annual gifts, grandkids tuition, anything like that that you plan to do.

[Anonymous]

When they are going to get the money is quite important. $500k invested in stocks should be about $20 million in 40 years when kids are ready to retire.
Why are your 2 and 5 million not going up? Can they go down?
Have them pick up financial literacy as a hobby.
This year was so good in the market that I doubled my money. So did many people who were hands on.
Knowing that this can be done and how to do it, is really cool.

[Anonymous]

The point of a trust is that you don't have to teach them anything. The trust takes care of it.

[Anonymous]

My children early 20s do not know they are in the grandparents will. They know there is family money (no idea how much) there that has been passed down so they probably assume some of it will come to them at some point..but also know the stock market is no guarantee and elder care can be very expensive. At this point we have focused on how fortunate they are to not have loans and are starting out with some $$ fur emergencies and a good credit score.

[Anonymous]

Yes i know I sound obnoxious and this is why I could never discuss the topic in real life. And can only do this anonymously.

To answer some questions, neither of us grew up rich. Grandparents made their money later in life (after our kids were in elementary school and we had didn’t need extra money). Don’t get me wrong - they did everything right. Gave their kids an appreciation for the value of hard work and a debt free education. They (both sets of grandparents) were wonderful. One set made enough later in life to set up the $2m trusts for their grandchildren. So we were raised very well but without any expectation of generational family wealth. So I can’t look to our experiences when we think about what to do with our kids.

I don’t expect to tell my kids how much they stand to inherit right away because I want them in their 20’s to work hard to establish themselves. I do wonder how people prepare kids to think about using money appropriately as a tool. What do you talk about? How do you teach them responsibility? Instill a strong work ethic? But with the knowledge that they will have to manage substantial funds earlier in life than they earn it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When they are going to get the money is quite important. $500k invested in stocks should be about $20 million in 40 years when kids are ready to retire.
Why are your 2 and 5 million not going up? Can they go down?
Have them pick up financial literacy as a hobby.
This year was so good in the market that I doubled my money. So did many people who were hands on.
Knowing that this can be done and how to do it, is really cool.

$2M is in theirs in trust form now. Will continue to go up. They cannot access anything without trustee approval until 35.

You are right that the money from us is a conservative estimate based on modest growth. But maybe we’ll need it for something else or decide we don’t want to leave to them.