When do you tell kids about family money?

[Anonymous]

We are not wealthy in a way that kids know about it. We do go on nice vacations but middle class home/cars/clothes etc. Public school. Kids are not particularly spendy. I don’t think they ask for more than if we were a middle class family with ok assets. They do make judgements (not worth it at that price). We have told them that we will pay for college. Our eldest is at an Ivy with the concomitant costs. Our youngest will likely choose similar.

When do we start teaching them about how to deal with inheriting relatively large trusts. From their grandparents alone they will get $2M each. They don’t know about this. From us, they will likely inherit at least that much, probably closer $5M each. I wonder how we should be parenting differently to keep them grounded. Right how they are great kids - hard working and planning on taking care of themselves in the future - and I want to see it continue.

[Anonymous]

What a ridiculous humble brag. Just insanely ridiculous. Do you really feel superior after writing this? Because you don’t sound superior, you sound pathetic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a ridiculous humble brag. Just insanely ridiculous. Do you really feel superior after writing this? Because you don’t sound superior, you sound pathetic.

Until they actually inherit its all promises and may or may not happen. Nothing to talk about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a ridiculous humble brag. Just insanely ridiculous. Do you really feel superior after writing this? Because you don’t sound superior, you sound pathetic.

These are parents who want to control their kids with money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are not wealthy in a way that kids know about it. We do go on nice vacations but middle class home/cars/clothes etc. Public school. Kids are not particularly spendy. I don’t think they ask for more than if we were a middle class family with ok assets. They do make judgements (not worth it at that price). We have told them that we will pay for college. Our eldest is at an Ivy with the concomitant costs. Our youngest will likely choose similar.

When do we start teaching them about how to deal with inheriting relatively large trusts. From their grandparents alone they will get $2M each. They don’t know about this. From us, they will likely inherit at least that much, probably closer $5M each. I wonder how we should be parenting differently to keep them grounded. Right how they are great kids - hard working and planning on taking care of themselves in the future - and I want to see it continue.

Just parent them normally. My parents didn't really tell me until college and it was applicable to my life.

[Anonymous]

Good question! We raised them talking about getting a good education and saving money and they actually listened. It wasn’t until they were married with good careers that we started educating them about our estate plans. They have a rough estimate about the value of the trusts we have set up but the trusts are also to benefit their children and maybe grandchildren. They won’t benefit from the trusts until we are gone and they seem to want us to live forever so they don’t build it into their retirement plans except they do know it’s there. Over the last two years we have gifted them a lot of money outside the trusts because they are very responsible and can handle it. We are blessed with very responsible children which has made this process pretty easy.

[Anonymous]

News flash you are very wealthy.

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a ridiculous humble brag. Just insanely ridiculous. Do you really feel superior after writing this? Because you don’t sound superior, you sound pathetic.

These are parents who want to control their kids with money.

I assume this is based on your experience. That would be awful so don’t do it with your kids.

[Anonymous]

I hate posts like this. The OP is humblebragging plain and simple. It doesn’t matter how they live - their kids aren’t idiots. They know their parents and grandparents have money and that they stand to inherit it. There’s no way they don’t.

[Anonymous]

OP it’s not enough to worry about. People can live a long time and elder care costs can be staggering. Just deal with it when it comes up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a ridiculous humble brag. Just insanely ridiculous. Do you really feel superior after writing this? Because you don’t sound superior, you sound pathetic.

These are parents who want to control their kids with money.

My ILs are very generous and they have shared some of their estate planning info and it could be substantial. The only request they have ever made is that we not discuss this with anyone except professionals. Other than that, there has been no hint of control.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it might be a humble brag but it is a good question. If you’re 21 and know at 30 you’re going to get $5 million it could depress any ambition you might have. I guarantee it would have depressed mine.

[Anonymous]

People on this forum are such sore losers. This is a genuine question to me. I'm also interested in knowing how people approach this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People on this forum are such sore losers. This is a genuine question to me. I'm also interested in knowing how people approach this.

We have money. What is there to approach? This area is full of rich people, some who are showy about it and some who aren’t. The idea that if your kids know they’re rich that they are not gonna work hard is just stupid. Lots of rich kids who know they are rich still work hard. It’s called parenting. God this is a stupid thread.

I mean, in OP’s own case, for example, she grew up with money. Right? Her parents are rich. Why can’t she just do what her own parents did?

Also, as others have noted, it is really not a given at all that the kids are going to get as much money as OP thinks. Anything can happen. The fat lady has not sung yet. In my own estate planning, we have some people saying we will die with a couple million and we have other people saying we will die with 30 million. So what the hell?