In a relationship is sex more important to men or women?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am surprised by all the women saying it's more important to them.

Woman here, with an active s-x life in my 25 year marriage. Every woman I know is totally indifferent to sex in their marriage by mid 40s. Or if we think it is important, it is important only because our husbands think it is important - and we love our husbands so want to maintain that closeness with them through s-x. That is, if my DH thought watching netflix nightly was an important part of staying emotionally close, I would put a high priority on watching netflix nightly and would take pleasure from it because it keeps us close. Even if i don't have a personal desire to watch netflix. If our DHs decided tomorrow that they were all happy having s-x just once or twice a year, I don't know any women who would care.

I think the women responding and saying it is more important for women.... are likely in dead marriages and want to point to s-x as the problem when it's likely something else.

I agree with all of this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do so many men as soon as they c**m they are completely disconnected? I'm some cases they don't even want to cuddle and so forth..

I like to think I tired him out! He will cuddle a bit but not for long and I’m fine with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think women. It's one of the prime reason woman cheat on their spouses.

I think most women who cheat on their spouses have deep psychological issues. Every woman I know who has cheated after marriage has a history of sexual assault or childhood sexual trauma.

I don’t think women cheat just because they want sex the way that men do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think women. It's one of the prime reason woman cheat on their spouses.

I think most women who cheat on their spouses have deep psychological issues. Every woman I know who has cheated after marriage has a history of sexual assault or childhood sexual trauma.

I don’t think women cheat just because they want sex the way that men do.

You’re wrong

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a woman I think aging has a more negative effect on sex drives on women than on men. Dryness becomes a real problem and dealing with it is not easy. For men, ED can be a problem but a simple pill can solve the problem. We’ve been married 40 years and we still enjoy weekly sex so it is still important to both of us. A nice back rub, massage and then foreplay can still rock me as my husband really gets going.

Nice. You guys keep it simple and find ways to please one another as you grow old together. It's that simple folks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think women. It's one of the prime reason woman cheat on their spouses.

I think most women who cheat on their spouses have deep psychological issues. Every woman I know who has cheated after marriage has a history of sexual assault or childhood sexual trauma.

I don’t think women cheat just because they want sex the way that men do.

That's it she just gave all those slu**y wives out there a way out. Hey Rebecca if DH catches you cheating just say stuff happened in your childhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do so many men as soon as they c**m they are completely disconnected? I'm some cases they don't even want to cuddle and so forth..

I’m the same and I’m a woman.

[Anonymous]

It depends on the age of the partners. When they are both young adults I'll say it's important to both of them. In their 40s+ it's not clear cut because life stressors get in the way and the partner who has a better handle on those stressors is probably more likely to want more sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:5 min is too short but better than nothing. I need 10 min to fill fulfilled emotionally and sexually. 15 min is perfect.

-Woman

PS I don’t think it’s gender based, OP.

This. Men (most) don't have the same emotional connection to sex the way women do.

Not sure about that. I think sex can be extremely emotional for men because they are not normal allowed to be emotional in other places (except sports), so they let it all out via sex with the right person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do so many men as soon as they c**m they are completely disconnected? I'm some cases they don't even want to cuddle and so forth..

I am a man and for this reason oral is really important. If you can get her to O at least twice from oral she will be disconnected like you once you c**m as well and gave her the final O through PIV.

Women really love getting ea**n out. For a man it's worth watching some YouTube tutorials if you are clueless because if you do it right she will want you all the time

Of course there are exceptions. Not all women are alike and some probably don't like to receive oral and that's fair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think women. It's one of the prime reason woman cheat on their spouses.

I think most women who cheat on their spouses have deep psychological issues. Every woman I know who has cheated after marriage has a history of sexual assault or childhood sexual trauma.

I don’t think women cheat just because they want sex the way that men do.

This is such nonsense and takes the responsibility and the agency away from women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:5 min is too short but better than nothing. I need 10 min to fill fulfilled emotionally and sexually. 15 min is perfect.

-Woman

PS I don’t think it’s gender based, OP.

This. Men (most) don't have the same emotional connection to sex the way women do.

Not sure about that. I think sex can be extremely emotional for men because they are not normal allowed to be emotional in other places (except sports), so they let it all out via sex with the right person.

If you come across such men count your blessings.

[Anonymous]

Men - This isn’t even a contest. Women need the emotional connection but can get it without sex (through cuddling). Men want the physical release. As they grow older, more women become indifferent to sex. In my experience, men don’t stop wanting sex although sometimes they stop wanting their partner. (I assume because they’re bored.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am surprised by all the women saying it's more important to them.

Woman here, with an active s-x life in my 25 year marriage. Every woman I know is totally indifferent to sex in their marriage by mid 40s. Or if we think it is important, it is important only because our husbands think it is important - and we love our husbands so want to maintain that closeness with them through s-x. That is, if my DH thought watching netflix nightly was an important part of staying emotionally close, I would put a high priority on watching netflix nightly and would take pleasure from it because it keeps us close. Even if i don't have a personal desire to watch netflix. If our DHs decided tomorrow that they were all happy having s-x just once or twice a year, I don't know any women who would care.

I think the women responding and saying it is more important for women.... are likely in dead marriages and want to point to s-x as the problem when it's likely something else.

Good insights and thanks for sharing. I get the impression though at least on this forum women tend to desire more sex and are more vocal about it particularly when they get into their 40s. It seems to me biologically women get hornier than men as they age which is horrible for men timing wise as most men are older by their spouses by at least couple of years and are likely to peak soon. And further stress has a massive negative impact on a man's libido more so than a woman.

But that was my point about women saying that s_x is important..... are likely in dead marriages and blaming the s_x, when in reality it's something else.

In other words, the only women who are saying s_x is important are women on this forum who aren't having any. But the women I know who are having it multiple times a week would all be fine with much less or without. They are not the ones driving that frequency in their marriages. Their husbands are. None of these women are saying "I am super into s-x, my DH less than me, but i keep pushing him because it's never enough." However, our husbands would all say that.

From there, it does not make sense that all high drive women suddenly find themselves in s-xless marriages. So the women in s-xless marriages (and on this forum) complaining about the lack of s-x in their marriages likely have way bigger problems in their marriages, and the s-x is just a symptom. But it's feels better to blame it on the s-x.

[Anonymous]

I feel like during peri menopause women care more.