What’s really worth it during the elementary years?
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Anonymous
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Taking them out of school for a few days to go out of town several times a year to go out of town.
Not scheduling activities for Friday or Sunday afternoons/evenings to have downtime |
Anonymous
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Taking them out of school for a few days to go out of town several times a year to go out of town.
Not scheduling activities for Friday or Sunday afternoons/evenings to have downtime |
Anonymous
One activity at a time? I would like to know what your kid’s week looked like at 2nd- 4th grade! I don’t know anyone who only does even just 1 sport at a time. Mine is: Mon: free Tue: piano lesson Wed: sport practice or game Thu: free Fri:free Sat: language class Sat or Sun: sometimes a sport game But no before care or aftercare, so at school 8-3pm and he gets picked up right away for sport or music. |
Anonymous
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I think this really depends on what you are optimizing for. If it’s for eventual college admissions, best to pick one obscure academic activity with low participation that your kid can dominate and be captain of etc for years. Sports are a total waste of time because the chances they will be scholarship-earning good are zero and sports eat up the most time. Instruments are no longer the golden ticket they once were because everyone is first chair now.
You should focus on some obscure environmental or social justice issue that you, oops I mean your kid, can start a club on and ostentatiously pour thousands of hours into throughout high school and middle school. Preferably one that frequently takes them overseas to the “global south.” |
Anonymous
I don't even think this works anymore. It used to be fencing, chess, lacrosse, crew. And social justice and medical/poverty causes. Now it's basically a crapshoot. |
Anonymous
Regarding sports, I guess it depends what you mean by "going somewhere." I don't think many UMC parents are pushing youth sports hoping for college scholarships or professional career. And if they are, they are delusional or else parents of the rare prodigy. There's no way at 8 or 9 people can know how puberty or development will go with enough surety to lock into a single sport. In terms of college admissions, I don't think being a committed player on a varsity team is a bad thing. Of course it won't get you in, but it does show some small level of grit and interest and sociability. |
Anonymous
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Swimming lessons, that is probably the activity that was most “worth it” in elementary. For free - going to the library weekly, exploring other parts of town and the state, going to state parks, bike rides around town.
The other thing for us was learning how to ski starting at a young age. It was literally on a former landfill and DS now can zoom around a mountain with his friends and we do it as a family. It’s made him responsible and independent and developed something he can do for a long time. I don’t think anything else has made a difference at this point (he’s going into 6th). |
Anonymous
That’s an easy schedule. |
Anonymous
Then you live in a very small bubble. You should probably not broadcast this except anonymously. |
Anonymous
That is my point. And it’s 4 activities. I can’t see people doing just 1 activity per semester with all the enrichment and optimization going on. |
Anonymous
| The answer will differ for different families. Don’t do anything only because it will optimize college admissions. Don’t do anything that makes you feel really stressed out unless your child enjoys it. I was a SAHM so had plenty of flexibility with schedule. DD did ballet, gymnastics and Girl Scouts weekly for years. Is she involved in any of those now? Nope. Do I think they were a waste? Not all all. In the moment she loved them. My DSs did baseball, soccer and basketball. One took piano and did mad science too. They wanted to do these things so it was time well spent. The people I know who regretted activities were those who chose them with an eye towards college applications or pushed their kids into activities they didn’t want to do or were indifferent about. |
Anonymous
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I have a high schooler now. He hated most organized activities as an elementary schooler. He’s very active and healthy and plays basketball now.
What is important: -Swimming lessons - Social skills, so lots of playdates and conversations with people of all ages - General physical activity coordination - free play at the playground everyday taking risks, climbing trees and rocks, hiking, kicking or throwing a ball around with us - Self expression, art and home cooking - Autonomy by running small errands or going places on their own |
Anonymous
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Worth it?
I think all activities will offer some benefits, but those impacts may be difficult to measure. For example, a child doesn’t have to become a professional musician, athlete, or environmentalist to benefit from the discipline, experience of being on a team, or interaction with nature they might get from learning an instrument, playing sports, or scouting - not to mention their increased appreciation for those fields. Whether an activity inspires their future career choice, gives them an edge in college admissions, gives them a hobby they can enjoy for years, increases their sense of competence and achievement, helps build their character by encouraging their discipline, socialization, creativity, determination, etc., or just exposes them to more of the world giving them more breadth and depth of experience, all activities have something to offer. That being said, there is value to be had in non-scheduled activities as well. Chores, hobbies, play, hanging out with friends and/or family, even time on the screens DCUM so despises can also provide benefits. I think it’s all a question of balance. In order to determine if something is “worth it” you first need to determine what your goal is. If you’re looking for an elementary extracurricular that will guarantee Ivy acceptance, then probably none of them are “worth it”. Once you’ve established your goal, you have to determine the cost you’re willing to accept for that goal. A free afterschool activity that takes an hour a week might be “worth it” whereas an activity that costs thousands of dollars, consumes all the child’s free time, and requires the entire family to accommodate the schedule, would probably have to meet a higher standard to be “worth it”. FWIW, I required my kids to become proficient swimmers and to study some kind of music for one year. One child loved to dance and seemed to have a natural talent for it, and the other had a similar affinity for drawing, so I asked each child to take one class in their respective area. Other than that, I generally offered kids opportunities I thought would be of interest, and let them choose (within limits), but with the understanding that once they signed up for something they were committed for the duration. I also made it clear that the more they were willing to devote themselves to something, the more I would be willing to do to help them. When one of my children in middle school fell in love with her instrument and spent hours practicing for the sheer pleasure, I was happy to make sure she had a good instrument, the private lessons she requested, and eventually supported her joining a youth orchestra. When she was no longer interested in practicing at home, I was no longer willing to drive her to orchestra practice every week for another year. |
Anonymous
Sick |
Anonymous
You are ridiculous |