What’s really worth it during the elementary years?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m always amazed at how many church goers there are on this board. In real life, I know zero religious upper middle class people.

We are religious but we do not usually talk about it. Many people, of many faiths, are religious without talking about it. My guess is that you know more religious families than you currently believe you know. Just a guess, mind.

[Anonymous]

I let my kids at least try everything they want. This is because when I was a child I was not able to do anything outside of school and church.

My kids are able to do what they want because I stay home and we have money. When I was a kid, my parents didn’t have the time or money.

We know families who let their kid pick one sport per season only. Others do one sport plus one other activity whether that be music, art or scouts.

[Anonymous]

Praise the lord

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m always amazed at how many church goers there are on this board. In real life, I know zero religious upper middle class people.

I’m always amazed at how many people claim only to know upper middle class people. The only people who only know a small amount of people are usually immigrants not assimilated yet

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m always amazed at how many church goers there are on this board. In real life, I know zero religious upper middle class people.

I’m always amazed at how many people claim only to know upper middle class people. The only people who only know a small amount of people are usually immigrants not assimilated yet

Wut

[Anonymous]

For my kid (7 DS) what has been worth it is baseball and soccer as far as organized leagues. As of now the leagues are organized by school so he is with his buddies on a team. He loves both and wants to do both. He asked me to sign him up.

Skiing. We ski as a family. My husband and I absolutely love it so we basically "forced" him into lessons. He is now good enough to ski the double black diamonds out West when we go. We also go as a family to WV 7-8 weekends during the winter and there is a group of families in our neighborhood that also go out there so we have lots of fun. (Not every family goes all the weekends we do but there is usually a fun group) He is going to try out for one of the ski teams in WV this year.

Swimming lessons for fun and for safety. He spent lots of time at the pool with friends this summer and it was great. I signed him up for stroke lessons this fall, not to be on a team but to be proficient and comfortable enough for us to do other water stuff like SUP, water parks etc.

My son loves going to birthday parties. He has a nice group of friends at school, so he is invited to many. If we are around, I try to make it. If we aren't, I don't sweat it. I don't cancel plans for them but I will make and effort to take him, even if they are out in Rockville or Falls Church.(We live in DC)

My son isn't ready for music lessons yet. He doesn't have the attention span for it. It is on the radar. My husband plays guitar and would love for him to take up an instrument.

I think that the only thing that you "should" do is to make sure that your kid knows how to swim. The rest of the stuff is all kid/family dependent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m always amazed at how many church goers there are on this board. In real life, I know zero religious upper middle class people.

I’m always amazed at how many people claim only to know upper middle class people. The only people who only know a small amount of people are usually immigrants not assimilated yet

But I didn’t claim to know only upper middle class people. I was poor for a lot of my life, my husband and I are from different backgrounds, we’ve lived in 10 US cities, and we’ve lived in several countries. I promise, I do know a great variety of people of different backgrounds.

But I think I’ve met maybe one religious upper middle class family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have older kids or have been through the elementary years already, what activities, sports, or outside enrichment have been truly worth it, and why?

There is so much my child is interested in and it’s not reasonable to do it all. STEM class, math, language school, piano, nature sessions, Zoom class, multiple sports leagues, sports camps.

I wonder when I look back several years from now if I will wish I had done it differently and pushed focus on just one or two things year after year. Right now I’m just following enthusiastic child’s changing interests and doing as much as we can fit in without going crazy with driving or cutting into sleep and family time.

We tried out a bunch of activities from age 4-10 when practices were only 1-2 times a week plus games or meets.

Good to learn to read music too.

Then once 4th or 5th grade the program are 2-3x a week so kid should pick what they’re good at AND like to do. Often it’s based on friend group too.

We focus on have 1-2 primary activities and 1-2 secondary ones.

Also- private school supplies are exposure all a ton of arts, sports, and enrichment so you don’t have to do too much besides a primary thing outside of school.

But by age 10-12 you should be able to tell what kind of kid you have and where they might enjoy AnD excell

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Sport is a priority, because a lifelong habit of regular exercise is so important for health.

Then math, because a strong foundation in elementary school math is essential for getting through life.

And then they end up obese adults I wonder wgy

People think childhood athletics is like a vaccine against adult weight gain. It's not. A lot of overweight adults are surprisingly active and spry for their age, but they also like donuts and pizza too much, so they don't stay slim. If you want your kids to be slim their whole lives, you also need to indoctrinate them about diet from an early age. And even that does not always work, people get to a certain age and they stop caring, no matter how deep the conditioning was. The best you can hope for is that they are slim and attractive in their 20s and 30s when they need to find a spouse.

Couldn’t disagree more. Getting movement and fostering a love of activity is more important than “indoctrinating about diet”.

Diet and establishing healthy eating habits are much more important than organized sports long term. And people who over-schedule their kids in lots of activities will never admit how much junk food and fast food they have to eat out of convenience. "My kids are healthy because they are in 1-2 sports per season," she said while eating Chipotle between games.

Oof here I am defending people who put their kids in tons of sports, which is actually something that annoys me (I don't have a sporty kid and the fixation of organized sports in elementary can be socially limiting in a way it wasn't when I was a non-sporty kid).

BUT I think you're generalizing in a way that isn't accurate. The families I know with tons of sports are not just eating crap all the time. Maybe some do but the ones I know are meal planning and great at packing healthy snacks and meals on the go. They are the people who will break out containers of sauteed veggies and rice and tofu on the sidelines of a little league game because they've done it so many times they know how to transport entire home cooked meals easily. In that situation it's my family, who doesn't do a ton of sports and eats at home almost every night, who is rolling up with Chipotle.

I know it's fun to try and paint people who parent differently than you as terrible in every way, but it's usually wrong. For instance I know people who I'm certain think my family is snooty because we DON'T do tons of sports and our kid is in artsy activities and is shy on top of it, so we don't know as many people and tend to be more reserved generally. But we're not snooty-- were actually very friendly and easy to get along with! But people make assumptions because our lifestyle seems unfamiliar to them. We're actually super normal.

Are you sure you're talking about elementary sports? DS has been in a lot of different sports with different crowds and the amount of junk snacks and sugary drinks given out constantly is crazy.

+1. I have two kids who definitely fall into the multiple sports category, and I have never ever seen someone rolling up to the sidelines with sautéed veggies and rice.

By the way, I think Chipotle is perfectly fine on a busy evening. It's actual real fool and ingredients. No issue with Chipotle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For my kid (7 DS) what has been worth it is baseball and soccer as far as organized leagues. As of now the leagues are organized by school so he is with his buddies on a team. He loves both and wants to do both. He asked me to sign him up.

Skiing. We ski as a family. My husband and I absolutely love it so we basically "forced" him into lessons. He is now good enough to ski the double black diamonds out West when we go. We also go as a family to WV 7-8 weekends during the winter and there is a group of families in our neighborhood that also go out there so we have lots of fun. (Not every family goes all the weekends we do but there is usually a fun group) He is going to try out for one of the ski teams in WV this year.

Swimming lessons for fun and for safety. He spent lots of time at the pool with friends this summer and it was great. I signed him up for stroke lessons this fall, not to be on a team but to be proficient and comfortable enough for us to do other water stuff like SUP, water parks etc.

My son loves going to birthday parties. He has a nice group of friends at school, so he is invited to many. If we are around, I try to make it. If we aren't, I don't sweat it. I don't cancel plans for them but I will make and effort to take him, even if they are out in Rockville or Falls Church.(We live in DC)

My son isn't ready for music lessons yet. He doesn't have the attention span for it. It is on the radar. My husband plays guitar and would love for him to take up an instrument.

I think that the only thing that you "should" do is to make sure that your kid knows how to swim. The rest of the stuff is all kid/family dependent.

Just as an FYI - I know families on the Timberline Race Team. There is a lengthy waiting list to even try out for that team, and they're very limited on the number of new skiers that they can accept due to a lack of skiers aging out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m always amazed at how many church goers there are on this board. In real life, I know zero religious upper middle class people.

Do you know a lot of people? The people I am closest to know we are religious, but otherwise it doesn’t generally come up as convo topic. If you have a large enough circle of friends and acquaintances, it’s likely there are some.

I know multiple upper middle class people who pretend to be religious and send their children to religious education. However, you will never catch the parents at an actual church service. It's all very performative and self-serving.