FIL wants to be buried in the homeland

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just ignore, nobody’s going to check

+1 Just be nice and say you'll try to make that happen while he's still alive.

Clearly that’s what everyone is doing, saying nothing.

[Anonymous]

I would not start worrying about this right now, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just ignore, nobody’s going to check

+1 Just be nice and say you'll try to make that happen while he's still alive.

Clearly that’s what everyone is doing, saying nothing.

This. Nothing for you to hear except follow your spouse’s lead, OP.

My mom told me she wanted to be buried standing up. I said ok. (She is horizontal, just like everyone else)

[Anonymous]

It can be hard. My mom brought ashes of a relative over the US-Canada border and it was a ton of paperwork and took a while. Any other country might be harder.

[Anonymous]

My absentminded grandfather always said the same thing. Didn’t have any policy coverage for it nor planning. His ashes are in of those mausoleum things, in the States.

Grandmother made the final call and was in no mood for having him way over there and her not. And no mood for the scam artist middlemen who said they could help make it happen.

[Anonymous]

I could see my FIL thinking it sounds like a cool idea, and then put in his will. But that’d be the extent of his thought or planning process: it sounds cool and a nice tribute to the place I left decades ago (and currently is in the worst turmoil of the century).

He probably thinks that’s what everyone does.

I can also see my spouse digging in and believing it’s his father’s last wishes and he absolutely must honor them. No matter what. That’s what a good son must do. He was given an order and must do it.

They all have very black and white thinking. And can’t have a discussion on anything.

I’d just ignore it and hope it doesn’t take up too much of your own family’s money or time if anyone digs in on it.

[Anonymous]

Chances are FIL will change his plans 1 or more times before his death.

[Anonymous]

Buy term life to cover cost.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s costly but actually fairly easy to ship a body internationally from the family’s perspective. There are entire companies that do just this, and all funeral homes should know how to contact them and set it up.

In fact, there are human remains on board many of the flights you take every day.

If your DH wants to honor this request, he can.

-someone who works in death care

+1. Any funeral home can help you with this. I would leave it up to DH on whether he wants to honor this request. If FIL mentions it to you, I'd just reassure him that you want to honor his wishes.

[Anonymous]

Anyone ask him why?

[Anonymous]

What about his wife?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a weird idea. Do what you want. He is already dead. Who cares.

Reading comprehension is key.

[Anonymous]

If it were my parent, I would tell them that this would be costly and time-consuming to arrange. Except that we'd never have this conversation, because they already know this and don't want to be a burden.

So tell your husband that if he says nothing right now, he will be facing a difficult choice after his father's death: not honor his wishes and live with that, or be entirely overwhelmed trying to make it happen.

[Anonymous]

Sure thing pa, give us the receipts for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not start worrying about this right now, OP.

+1. This is not your problem and no one’s problem for today.