Tales of OLD

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any interesting recent tales of OLD? I need a support network. Haha

Been on scores of first dates in the past few years. 50+ though I have not actually counted the number.

Never had a horrid experience. 90+% of the first dates are just fine, normal dates that end up with either me not feeling it or the other person not feeling it to continue the dating process. The rest go for a few more dates before fizzling out. I did find an LTR though (which I am very happy with) and it would not have happened if I did not put in the world.

But that does not make for any sordid “tales of old” material. When I read horror stories of OLD I just shake my head and think how stupid or unlucky the person would be to put themselves in a position to have such a bad date. It is pretty easy to screen out “crazy” or completely “incompetent” or even somewhat “incompatible” within a few messages or phone calls before the first date. Be smart you dumbos😇

You are very condescending. The man I got an std from is highly educated and works in a hospital. We had several dates.

I am not dumb. You were lucky.

I was lucky over 50 first dates at not having a horrible one? No. I know how to screen out and not waste time on complete losers. The ones I do choose to go on a first date with meet the barebones threshold of being decent people with an education, profession and public facing image that meets a relatively high bar I set for myself. I don’t give time (aka first date) to losers who don’t make the cut. I will usually have extended comms via text and or phone and or FaceTime before meeting in person. The 50 first dates probably after 150+ OLD matches that I screened out after a few exchanges or some quick internet sleuthing 😒 which some dumb people are incapable of doing

Yes, you were lucky. You think this can’t nape to anyone? It can. You are disgusting. You think I did not do the same thing? Get over yourself.

[Anonymous]

*happen (typo)

[Anonymous]

And also, I have had more than 50 first dates as well. That means nothing. Have you gotten to 5 dates with a lot of people? I have. I have also had relationships—that is where the problems are. First dates are easy.

People can lie. It happens.

You were lucky but also it sounds like you base your OLD “success” on first dates. That is the easy part. You are not better than other people nor does more than 50 first dates make you and OLD success. I have had plenty (more than 50) of first dates that were good. It is later than things happen. And with perfectly respectable people. All it takes is one time of something bad happening. You can’t predict this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And also, I have had more than 50 first dates as well. That means nothing. Have you gotten to 5 dates with a lot of people? I have. I have also had relationships—that is where the problems are. First dates are easy.

People can lie. It happens.

You were lucky but also it sounds like you base your OLD “success” on first dates. That is the easy part. You are not better than other people nor does more than 50 first dates make you and OLD success. I have had plenty (more than 50) of first dates that were good. It is later than things happen. And with perfectly respectable people. All it takes is one time of something bad happening. You can’t predict this.

I’m not pp but like you and pp I’ve had hundreds of matches and first dates. Scores of relationships, five of which were over 2yrs (I’m 50) and been married 15 yrs.

Dating, romance, relationships and marriage has always been fun happy and satisfying for me

“All is mind” people who have bad dating experiences usually have bad everything experiences in life

People who have fun dating experiences usually have a fun happy and content life

Many of my friends and I have exchanges dating stories and since I tend to associate with happy content successful people our stories are overwhelmingly fun and happy. Ofc a few bad dates, catfishes, outright liars, and weirdos in the mix but if you are overwhelmingly having bad dating or OLD experiences the problem is not everyone else. The problem is something deep inside you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And also, I have had more than 50 first dates as well. That means nothing. Have you gotten to 5 dates with a lot of people? I have. I have also had relationships—that is where the problems are. First dates are easy.

People can lie. It happens.

You were lucky but also it sounds like you base your OLD “success” on first dates. That is the easy part. You are not better than other people nor does more than 50 first dates make you and OLD success. I have had plenty (more than 50) of first dates that were good. It is later than things happen. And with perfectly respectable people. All it takes is one time of something bad happening. You can’t predict this.

I’m not pp but like you and pp I’ve had hundreds of matches and first dates. Scores of relationships, five of which were over 2yrs (I’m 50) and been married 15 yrs.

Dating, romance, relationships and marriage has always been fun happy and satisfying for me

“All is mind” people who have bad dating experiences usually have bad everything experiences in life

People who have fun dating experiences usually have a fun happy and content life

Many of my friends and I have exchanges dating stories and since I tend to associate with happy content successful people our stories are overwhelmingly fun and happy. Ofc a few bad dates, catfishes, outright liars, and weirdos in the mix but if you are overwhelmingly having bad dating or OLD experiences the problem is not everyone else. The problem is something deep inside you

You are married for 15 years meaning your positive dating experience relates to 20-35 age group. Of course dating is best for women at this age.
But it’s the fact that post age 40 it’s very hard for both genders and the dating space is saturated with people with bad intentions, liars, cheaters etc. Men in particular behave poorly abusing the apps and sleeping with multiple women at the sans time . Didn’t you see what they tell on this forum about older women being only for f…king etc ?
I don’t know where the PP found good material to have 50 first dates (and allegedly all with public image respectable etc). I had many matches but could probably find 2-3 first date worthy people per month after the video dates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any interesting recent tales of OLD? I need a support network. Haha

Been on scores of first dates in the past few years. 50+ though I have not actually counted the number.

Never had a horrid experience. 90+% of the first dates are just fine, normal dates that end up with either me not feeling it or the other person not feeling it to continue the dating process. The rest go for a few more dates before fizzling out. I did find an LTR though (which I am very happy with) and it would not have happened if I did not put in the world.

But that does not make for any sordid “tales of old” material. When I read horror stories of OLD I just shake my head and think how stupid or unlucky the person would be to put themselves in a position to have such a bad date. It is pretty easy to screen out “crazy” or completely “incompetent” or even somewhat “incompatible” within a few messages or phone calls before the first date. Be smart you dumbos😇

This. I went on maybe 6 first dates from OLD, no horror stories. Some of the chats were cringey but they obviously never made it to a first date. I was honest in my profiles and screened carefully.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And also, I have had more than 50 first dates as well. That means nothing. Have you gotten to 5 dates with a lot of people? I have. I have also had relationships—that is where the problems are. First dates are easy.

People can lie. It happens.

You were lucky but also it sounds like you base your OLD “success” on first dates. That is the easy part. You are not better than other people nor does more than 50 first dates make you and OLD success. I have had plenty (more than 50) of first dates that were good. It is later than things happen. And with perfectly respectable people. All it takes is one time of something bad happening. You can’t predict this.

I’m not pp but like you and pp I’ve had hundreds of matches and first dates. Scores of relationships, five of which were over 2yrs (I’m 50) and been married 15 yrs.

Dating, romance, relationships and marriage has always been fun happy and satisfying for me

“All is mind” people who have bad dating experiences usually have bad everything experiences in life

People who have fun dating experiences usually have a fun happy and content life

Many of my friends and I have exchanges dating stories and since I tend to associate with happy content successful people our stories are overwhelmingly fun and happy. Ofc a few bad dates, catfishes, outright liars, and weirdos in the mix but if you are overwhelmingly having bad dating or OLD experiences the problem is not everyone else. The problem is something deep inside you

You are married for 15 years meaning your positive dating experience relates to 20-35 age group. Of course dating is best for women at this age.
But it’s the fact that post age 40 it’s very hard for both genders and the dating space is saturated with people with bad intentions, liars, cheaters etc. Men in particular behave poorly abusing the apps and sleeping with multiple women at the sans time . Didn’t you see what they tell on this forum about older women being only for f…king etc ?
I don’t know where the PP found good material to have 50 first dates (and allegedly all with public image respectable etc). I had many matches but could probably find 2-3 first date worthy people per month after the video dates.

PP typifies ye olde smug married, as identified by Helen Fielding. Tacky bim thinking in a Talbots wrapping.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Well, there are certainly some judgemental women on here. What the heck. Thank you to those who have shared so far. I am sorry for the PP who got syphilis. You are right that some people do not disclose and lie about things.

We can talk about our strange encounters online as well, which resulted in not wanting to meet the person in person. One of my first questions now is “are you married”. So many married men online.

[Anonymous]

Male here, I’ve done some recent OLD and I’ve been surprised by how sexually available some of the women are on the first date. Prior to the dates neither their profiles nor calls or texts gave any indication. I’m a successful, decent looking and sane guy so maybe I’m a unicorn of some sort. I didn’t take any of them up on their offers and not because I’m a saint but because I wasn’t attracted to them for a bunch of reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Male here, I’ve done some recent OLD and I’ve been surprised by how sexually available some of the women are on the first date. Prior to the dates neither their profiles nor calls or texts gave any indication. I’m a successful, decent looking and sane guy so maybe I’m a unicorn of some sort. I didn’t take any of them up on their offers and not because I’m a saint but because I wasn’t attracted to them for a bunch of reasons.

Did they actually offer to f..k or just chatted with you about sex? I love sexting and chatting about it on dates but it doesn't mean anything. Never slept with anyone until after a month or two

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Male here, I’ve done some recent OLD and I’ve been surprised by how sexually available some of the women are on the first date. Prior to the dates neither their profiles nor calls or texts gave any indication. I’m a successful, decent looking and sane guy so maybe I’m a unicorn of some sort. I didn’t take any of them up on their offers and not because I’m a saint but because I wasn’t attracted to them for a bunch of reasons.

Male here. Late-50s. Same experience, albeit you are more saintly. In pretty much all cases, texted for a few days to a week (or even two given travel). Several professional women in the DC area were largely undressed on date 1. Another sent photos pre-date but there was no spark between us. Yet another told me about her waxing. I typically only sleep with women after 3-4 dates, when it is clearly something both of us want.

Men and women are not that different in their desires and needs. Each adult needs to decide for himself/herself without being judgements about how other adults choose to live their lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any interesting recent tales of OLD? I need a support network. Haha

Been on scores of first dates in the past few years. 50+ though I have not actually counted the number.

Never had a horrid experience. 90+% of the first dates are just fine, normal dates that end up with either me not feeling it or the other person not feeling it to continue the dating process. The rest go for a few more dates before fizzling out. I did find an LTR though (which I am very happy with) and it would not have happened if I did not put in the world.

But that does not make for any sordid “tales of old” material. When I read horror stories of OLD I just shake my head and think how stupid or unlucky the person would be to put themselves in a position to have such a bad date. It is pretty easy to screen out “crazy” or completely “incompetent” or even somewhat “incompatible” within a few messages or phone calls before the first date. Be smart you dumbos😇

150 dates and 1 LTR ?
You must be a real charmer !

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Male here, I’ve done some recent OLD and I’ve been surprised by how sexually available some of the women are on the first date. Prior to the dates neither their profiles nor calls or texts gave any indication. I’m a successful, decent looking and sane guy so maybe I’m a unicorn of some sort. I didn’t take any of them up on their offers and not because I’m a saint but because I wasn’t attracted to them for a bunch of reasons.

Male here. Late-50s. Same experience, albeit you are more saintly. In pretty much all cases, texted for a few days to a week (or even two given travel). Several professional women in the DC area were largely undressed on date 1. Another sent photos pre-date but there was no spark between us. Yet another told me about her waxing. I typically only sleep with women after 3-4 dates, when it is clearly something both of us want.

Men and women are not that different in their desires and needs. Each adult needs to decide for himself/herself without being judgements about how other adults choose to live their lives.

That’s not my experience as a woman: men always invite for dinners as first date; try to show their house etc. When I decline they quickly move to the next target. Also, everyone expects sex on 3-4 dates. If you don’t put out they think you are not that into them and move on quickly, becoming mean.
All executives, respected professionals. Also lack manners coking across hungry for sex. For example, would invite home, and turn music with remote at the doorway, then grab me and pull to sofa. Without offering tea or anything.
I never accept expensive dates invites but I do need to see the person more than 3 times before exposing my privates.

[Anonymous]

I was on a phone app when they were new (not Tinder). A "women" sent unsolicited crotch shot pictures and wanted me to reciprocate. Naturally I presumed she was a man. She offered to meet me at my house and bring a friend. When I asked whether they were "professionals", she said yes. I told her I did not want prostitutes, and she got offended by my presumption. I never learned the real story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Male here, I’ve done some recent OLD and I’ve been surprised by how sexually available some of the women are on the first date. Prior to the dates neither their profiles nor calls or texts gave any indication. I’m a successful, decent looking and sane guy so maybe I’m a unicorn of some sort. I didn’t take any of them up on their offers and not because I’m a saint but because I wasn’t attracted to them for a bunch of reasons.

Male here. Late-50s. Same experience, albeit you are more saintly. In pretty much all cases, texted for a few days to a week (or even two given travel). Several professional women in the DC area were largely undressed on date 1. Another sent photos pre-date but there was no spark between us. Yet another told me about her waxing. I typically only sleep with women after 3-4 dates, when it is clearly something both of us want.

Men and women are not that different in their desires and needs. Each adult needs to decide for himself/herself without being judgements about how other adults choose to live their lives.

That’s not my experience as a woman: men always invite for dinners as first date; try to show their house etc. When I decline they quickly move to the next target. Also, everyone expects sex on 3-4 dates. If you don’t put out they think you are not that into them and move on quickly, becoming mean.
All executives, respected professionals. Also lack manners coking across hungry for sex. For example, would invite home, and turn music with remote at the doorway, then grab me and pull to sofa. Without offering tea or anything.
I never accept expensive dates invites but I do need to see the person more than 3 times before exposing my privates.

PP. YMMV. I have been repeatedly invited into women’s homes on the first date. It happens, among professionals in DC. It is important for anyone on OLD to know what she/he wants before going on a first or second or third date, but not presume that “all men are looking for sex” or “women are not looking for sex”.