Tales of OLD

[Anonymous]

I dated only professional men with public profiles and even then absolutely every single one expected sex after 3rd date.

If you don’t make a pass at her by the third date, she’ll be on DCUM asking what’s wrong with you and the responses will all be “he is gay or asexual or something, you should dump him.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those recommending online research, How do you even know they are telling you their real name?

Yeah, I have not used OLD in a decade, but I was certainly never giving my real full name or expecting one in return before meeting up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those recommending online research, How do you even know they are telling you their real name?

I'm the one who posted about finding my relative had a date with a guy who had been prosecuted. I don't know what site she was using but I think probably they'd texted or talked enough, pre-date, that she had his full name if it wasn't on the OLD site itself. I just recall that she had his first and last names which made it easy to find him online.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those recommending online research, How do you even know they are telling you their real name?

Yeah, I have not used OLD in a decade, but I was certainly never giving my real full name or expecting one in return before meeting up.

You didn't get a full name before meeting in person? Via texting or whatever? I haven't used OLD myself, I just know that my relative had the guy's full name and it was the right person when I Googled him -- his photo was on an old business profile online and it was definitely the same guy who was on the OLD site she'd used. I think he gave her his name outside the site when he asked her out. They never did have a date, of course....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those recommending online research, How do you even know they are telling you their real name?

Yeah, I have not used OLD in a decade, but I was certainly never giving my real full name or expecting one in return before meeting up.

You didn't get a full name before meeting in person? Via texting or whatever? I haven't used OLD myself, I just know that my relative had the guy's full name and it was the right person when I Googled him -- his photo was on an old business profile online and it was definitely the same guy who was on the OLD site she'd used. I think he gave her his name outside the site when he asked her out. They never did have a date, of course....

No, I'm a woman so I didn't want strangers to be able to look me up via my full name and find out where I live. Especially since most meetings go nowhere after 1-2 dates. And it would feel unfair to expect a full name without providing one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any interesting recent tales of OLD? I need a support network. Haha

Been on scores of first dates in the past few years. 50+ though I have not actually counted the number.

Never had a horrid experience. 90+% of the first dates are just fine, normal dates that end up with either me not feeling it or the other person not feeling it to continue the dating process. The rest go for a few more dates before fizzling out. I did find an LTR though (which I am very happy with) and it would not have happened if I did not put in the world.

But that does not make for any sordid “tales of old” material. When I read horror stories of OLD I just shake my head and think how stupid or unlucky the person would be to put themselves in a position to have such a bad date. It is pretty easy to screen out “crazy” or completely “incompetent” or even somewhat “incompatible” within a few messages or phone calls before the first date. Be smart you dumbos😇

You are very condescending. The man I got an std from is highly educated and works in a hospital. We had several dates.

I am not dumb. You were lucky.

I was lucky over 50 first dates at not having a horrible one? No. I know how to screen out and not waste time on complete losers. The ones I do choose to go on a first date with meet the barebones threshold of being decent people with an education, profession and public facing image that meets a relatively high bar I set for myself. I don’t give time (aka first date) to losers who don’t make the cut. I will usually have extended comms via text and or phone and or FaceTime before meeting in person. The 50 first dates probably after 150+ OLD matches that I screened out after a few exchanges or some quick internet sleuthing 😒 which some dumb people are incapable of doing

Okay, you win. Enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Male here, I’ve done some recent OLD and I’ve been surprised by how sexually available some of the women are on the first date. Prior to the dates neither their profiles nor calls or texts gave any indication. I’m a successful, decent looking and sane guy so maybe I’m a unicorn of some sort. I didn’t take any of them up on their offers and not because I’m a saint but because I wasn’t attracted to them for a bunch of reasons.

Male here. Late-50s. Same experience, albeit you are more saintly. In pretty much all cases, texted for a few days to a week (or even two given travel). Several professional women in the DC area were largely undressed on date 1. Another sent photos pre-date but there was no spark between us. Yet another told me about her waxing. I typically only sleep with women after 3-4 dates, when it is clearly something both of us want.

Men and women are not that different in their desires and needs. Each adult needs to decide for himself/herself without being judgements about how other adults choose to live their lives.

That’s not my experience as a woman: men always invite for dinners as first date; try to show their house etc. When I decline they quickly move to the next target. Also, everyone expects sex on 3-4 dates. If you don’t put out they think you are not that into them and move on quickly, becoming mean.
All executives, respected professionals. Also lack manners coking across hungry for sex. For example, would invite home, and turn music with remote at the doorway, then grab me and pull to sofa. Without offering tea or anything.
I never accept expensive dates invites but I do need to see the person more than 3 times before exposing my privates.

PP. YMMV. I have been repeatedly invited into women’s homes on the first date. It happens, among professionals in DC. It is important for anyone on OLD to know what she/he wants before going on a first or second or third date, but not presume that “all men are looking for sex” or “women are not looking for sex”.

I dated only professional men with public profiles and even then absolutely every single one expected sex after 3rd date. One even texted me I was wasting his time after I suggested an activity unrelated to dinner. It’s just the fact men out there behave like hos.
So I quit OLD altogether and enjoy my singlehood. Better than feeling like a piece of meat torn apart by hungry horndogs

I don’t think it’s unreasonable after the 3rd date. I may not be in love by any means but after 3 dates I’m either very interested or not. If not, I move on and no 4th date.

The issue is not me knowing if I want him or not after 3rd date. The issue is that men are hiding things that are IMPOSSIBLE to find out by date 3. To me it included: hiding a live-in GF, hiding he was ENM and sleeping with men; hiding he was in a bitter court battle with ex wife; a severe army brain trauma; not acceptable living conditions (resides with parents etc).

I am trying to pick a person first that matches me long term, then sleep with them. I would have slept with many people who are not my life matches if I did this on date 3. I do allow kissing and some making out around date 3-4.

I do think men should be dating not expecting sex on women on date 3. Just try following the logic: if she's nice, shows real interest by inviting you to dates herself etc.

Having sex too soon is a waste of time for men as well: you get entangled with a wrong person as it's harder to break up and keep dating while you are already sleeping with someone. I had men dump me and then reach out 6 months after when the woman they chose 6 months back didn't work out. Saying the woman was using them for money, for example. Of course she did, because she only slept with him on date 3 because she googled his corporate position.

Women are not stupid: if you are a man and have a great job, nice car women will sleep with you to stand out among their competition. But it doesn't mean a good match at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those recommending online research, How do you even know they are telling you their real name?

Yeah, I have not used OLD in a decade, but I was certainly never giving my real full name or expecting one in return before meeting up.

You didn't get a full name before meeting in person? Via texting or whatever? I haven't used OLD myself, I just know that my relative had the guy's full name and it was the right person when I Googled him -- his photo was on an old business profile online and it was definitely the same guy who was on the OLD site she'd used. I think he gave her his name outside the site when he asked her out. They never did have a date, of course....

No, I'm a woman so I didn't want strangers to be able to look me up via my full name and find out where I live. Especially since most meetings go nowhere after 1-2 dates. And it would feel unfair to expect a full name without providing one.

So.... you, what? Got a burner phone, a burner email address and a rental car? Just so you could go on a date with some guy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those recommending online research, How do you even know they are telling you their real name?

I always ask to share Linkedin profile. No need to keep seeing someone who's hiding their full name and identity. But men know that, with me they share before first date in most cases because I'm very good looking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Male here, I’ve done some recent OLD and I’ve been surprised by how sexually available some of the women are on the first date. Prior to the dates neither their profiles nor calls or texts gave any indication. I’m a successful, decent looking and sane guy so maybe I’m a unicorn of some sort. I didn’t take any of them up on their offers and not because I’m a saint but because I wasn’t attracted to them for a bunch of reasons.

Male here. Late-50s. Same experience, albeit you are more saintly. In pretty much all cases, texted for a few days to a week (or even two given travel). Several professional women in the DC area were largely undressed on date 1. Another sent photos pre-date but there was no spark between us. Yet another told me about her waxing. I typically only sleep with women after 3-4 dates, when it is clearly something both of us want.

Men and women are not that different in their desires and needs. Each adult needs to decide for himself/herself without being judgements about how other adults choose to live their lives.

That’s not my experience as a woman: men always invite for dinners as first date; try to show their house etc. When I decline they quickly move to the next target. Also, everyone expects sex on 3-4 dates. If you don’t put out they think you are not that into them and move on quickly, becoming mean.
All executives, respected professionals. Also lack manners coking across hungry for sex. For example, would invite home, and turn music with remote at the doorway, then grab me and pull to sofa. Without offering tea or anything.
I never accept expensive dates invites but I do need to see the person more than 3 times before exposing my privates.

PP. YMMV. I have been repeatedly invited into women’s homes on the first date. It happens, among professionals in DC. It is important for anyone on OLD to know what she/he wants before going on a first or second or third date, but not presume that “all men are looking for sex” or “women are not looking for sex”.

I dated only professional men with public profiles and even then absolutely every single one expected sex after 3rd date. One even texted me I was wasting his time after I suggested an activity unrelated to dinner. It’s just the fact men out there behave like hos.
So I quit OLD altogether and enjoy my singlehood. Better than feeling like a piece of meat torn apart by hungry horndogs

I don’t think it’s unreasonable after the 3rd date. I may not be in love by any means but after 3 dates I’m either very interested or not. If not, I move on and no 4th date.

The issue is not me knowing if I want him or not after 3rd date. The issue is that men are hiding things that are IMPOSSIBLE to find out by date 3. To me it included: hiding a live-in GF, hiding he was ENM and sleeping with men; hiding he was in a bitter court battle with ex wife; a severe army brain trauma; not acceptable living conditions (resides with parents etc).

I am trying to pick a person first that matches me long term, then sleep with them. I would have slept with many people who are not my life matches if I did this on date 3. I do allow kissing and some making out around date 3-4.

I do think men should be dating not expecting sex on women on date 3. Just try following the logic: if she's nice, shows real interest by inviting you to dates herself etc.

Having sex too soon is a waste of time for men as well: you get entangled with a wrong person as it's harder to break up and keep dating while you are already sleeping with someone. I had men dump me and then reach out 6 months after when the woman they chose 6 months back didn't work out. Saying the woman was using them for money, for example. Of course she did, because she only slept with him on date 3 because she googled his corporate position.

Women are not stupid: if you are a man and have a great job, nice car women will sleep with you to stand out among their competition. But it doesn't mean a good match at all.

Lady, I don't know if you think this 1950 or some podunk town in fly over country, but grad school educated, six figure plus earning women in DC really aren't throwing their P around just because a guy has some cash. What a sad perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Male here, I’ve done some recent OLD and I’ve been surprised by how sexually available some of the women are on the first date. Prior to the dates neither their profiles nor calls or texts gave any indication. I’m a successful, decent looking and sane guy so maybe I’m a unicorn of some sort. I didn’t take any of them up on their offers and not because I’m a saint but because I wasn’t attracted to them for a bunch of reasons.

Male here. Late-50s. Same experience, albeit you are more saintly. In pretty much all cases, texted for a few days to a week (or even two given travel). Several professional women in the DC area were largely undressed on date 1. Another sent photos pre-date but there was no spark between us. Yet another told me about her waxing. I typically only sleep with women after 3-4 dates, when it is clearly something both of us want.

Men and women are not that different in their desires and needs. Each adult needs to decide for himself/herself without being judgements about how other adults choose to live their lives.

That’s not my experience as a woman: men always invite for dinners as first date; try to show their house etc. When I decline they quickly move to the next target. Also, everyone expects sex on 3-4 dates. If you don’t put out they think you are not that into them and move on quickly, becoming mean.
All executives, respected professionals. Also lack manners coking across hungry for sex. For example, would invite home, and turn music with remote at the doorway, then grab me and pull to sofa. Without offering tea or anything.
I never accept expensive dates invites but I do need to see the person more than 3 times before exposing my privates.

PP. YMMV. I have been repeatedly invited into women’s homes on the first date. It happens, among professionals in DC. It is important for anyone on OLD to know what she/he wants before going on a first or second or third date, but not presume that “all men are looking for sex” or “women are not looking for sex”.

I dated only professional men with public profiles and even then absolutely every single one expected sex after 3rd date. One even texted me I was wasting his time after I suggested an activity unrelated to dinner. It’s just the fact men out there behave like hos.
So I quit OLD altogether and enjoy my singlehood. Better than feeling like a piece of meat torn apart by hungry horndogs

I don’t think it’s unreasonable after the 3rd date. I may not be in love by any means but after 3 dates I’m either very interested or not. If not, I move on and no 4th date.

The issue is not me knowing if I want him or not after 3rd date. The issue is that men are hiding things that are IMPOSSIBLE to find out by date 3. To me it included: hiding a live-in GF, hiding he was ENM and sleeping with men; hiding he was in a bitter court battle with ex wife; a severe army brain trauma; not acceptable living conditions (resides with parents etc).

I am trying to pick a person first that matches me long term, then sleep with them. I would have slept with many people who are not my life matches if I did this on date 3. I do allow kissing and some making out around date 3-4.

I do think men should be dating not expecting sex on women on date 3. Just try following the logic: if she's nice, shows real interest by inviting you to dates herself etc.

Having sex too soon is a waste of time for men as well: you get entangled with a wrong person as it's harder to break up and keep dating while you are already sleeping with someone. I had men dump me and then reach out 6 months after when the woman they chose 6 months back didn't work out. Saying the woman was using them for money, for example. Of course she did, because she only slept with him on date 3 because she googled his corporate position.

Women are not stupid: if you are a man and have a great job, nice car women will sleep with you to stand out among their competition. But it doesn't mean a good match at all.

Lady, I don't know if you think this 1950 or some podunk town in fly over country, but grad school educated, six figure plus earning women in DC really aren't throwing their P around just because a guy has some cash. What a sad perspective.

Of course they are, particular in high COLA like DC where you need two incomes of 200K+ to live well. Maybe not sleeping on date 1 but women would sleep with them on date 3-4.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Male here, I’ve done some recent OLD and I’ve been surprised by how sexually available some of the women are on the first date. Prior to the dates neither their profiles nor calls or texts gave any indication. I’m a successful, decent looking and sane guy so maybe I’m a unicorn of some sort. I didn’t take any of them up on their offers and not because I’m a saint but because I wasn’t attracted to them for a bunch of reasons.

Male here. Late-50s. Same experience, albeit you are more saintly. In pretty much all cases, texted for a few days to a week (or even two given travel). Several professional women in the DC area were largely undressed on date 1. Another sent photos pre-date but there was no spark between us. Yet another told me about her waxing. I typically only sleep with women after 3-4 dates, when it is clearly something both of us want.

Men and women are not that different in their desires and needs. Each adult needs to decide for himself/herself without being judgements about how other adults choose to live their lives.

That’s not my experience as a woman: men always invite for dinners as first date; try to show their house etc. When I decline they quickly move to the next target. Also, everyone expects sex on 3-4 dates. If you don’t put out they think you are not that into them and move on quickly, becoming mean.
All executives, respected professionals. Also lack manners coking across hungry for sex. For example, would invite home, and turn music with remote at the doorway, then grab me and pull to sofa. Without offering tea or anything.
I never accept expensive dates invites but I do need to see the person more than 3 times before exposing my privates.

PP. YMMV. I have been repeatedly invited into women’s homes on the first date. It happens, among professionals in DC. It is important for anyone on OLD to know what she/he wants before going on a first or second or third date, but not presume that “all men are looking for sex” or “women are not looking for sex”.

I dated only professional men with public profiles and even then absolutely every single one expected sex after 3rd date. One even texted me I was wasting his time after I suggested an activity unrelated to dinner. It’s just the fact men out there behave like hos.
So I quit OLD altogether and enjoy my singlehood. Better than feeling like a piece of meat torn apart by hungry horndogs

I don’t think it’s unreasonable after the 3rd date. I may not be in love by any means but after 3 dates I’m either very interested or not. If not, I move on and no 4th date.

The issue is not me knowing if I want him or not after 3rd date. The issue is that men are hiding things that are IMPOSSIBLE to find out by date 3. To me it included: hiding a live-in GF, hiding he was ENM and sleeping with men; hiding he was in a bitter court battle with ex wife; a severe army brain trauma; not acceptable living conditions (resides with parents etc).

I am trying to pick a person first that matches me long term, then sleep with them. I would have slept with many people who are not my life matches if I did this on date 3. I do allow kissing and some making out around date 3-4.

I do think men should be dating not expecting sex on women on date 3. Just try following the logic: if she's nice, shows real interest by inviting you to dates herself etc.

Having sex too soon is a waste of time for men as well: you get entangled with a wrong person as it's harder to break up and keep dating while you are already sleeping with someone. I had men dump me and then reach out 6 months after when the woman they chose 6 months back didn't work out. Saying the woman was using them for money, for example. Of course she did, because she only slept with him on date 3 because she googled his corporate position.

Women are not stupid: if you are a man and have a great job, nice car women will sleep with you to stand out among their competition. But it doesn't mean a good match at all.

Lady, I don't know if you think this 1950 or some podunk town in fly over country, but grad school educated, six figure plus earning women in DC really aren't throwing their P around just because a guy has some cash. What a sad perspective.

Of course they are, particular in high COLA like DC where you need two incomes of 200K+ to live well. Maybe not sleeping on date 1 but women would sleep with them on date 3-4.

Nah.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Male here, I’ve done some recent OLD and I’ve been surprised by how sexually available some of the women are on the first date. Prior to the dates neither their profiles nor calls or texts gave any indication. I’m a successful, decent looking and sane guy so maybe I’m a unicorn of some sort. I didn’t take any of them up on their offers and not because I’m a saint but because I wasn’t attracted to them for a bunch of reasons.

Did they actually offer to f..k or just chatted with you about sex? I love sexting and chatting about it on dates but it doesn't mean anything. Never slept with anyone until after a month or two

How out are you?

I am an older woman and can’t imagine sexting with someone I hardly know.

Who are these women? Our mothers? Our co-workers?

* How old are you

I’m mid 40s. Sexting is pretty normal after 1at date

Normal? You must send some pretty hot signals on that first date!

If you are looking for an open minded sexual partner who is smart, they will understand the difference between sexting and sleeping on 1st date. Unfortunately most men are dull in bed swapping quality to quantity.

I always discuss sexual preferences a few dates ahead of spending a night, playfully (what they like, what I crave for, when prior relationship ended). This is an important part of bonding before having actual intercourse (for me, at least)

[Anonymous]

Im a woman on OLD. Decent men know to give you their full name and personal info to help show that they are decent men. They know they need to show you that they are a good, non threatening man for you to meet them. They wont ask for the same in return if you arent comfortable doing so. Good dudes get it.

The men who wont give you their real name/contact info are married or have something else to hide.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Male here, I’ve done some recent OLD and I’ve been surprised by how sexually available some of the women are on the first date. Prior to the dates neither their profiles nor calls or texts gave any indication. I’m a successful, decent looking and sane guy so maybe I’m a unicorn of some sort. I didn’t take any of them up on their offers and not because I’m a saint but because I wasn’t attracted to them for a bunch of reasons.

Yeah, when I was going through it I was surprised by the same thing. Especially the women who would say "no hookups" in their profile -- almost ALWAYS they were DTF immediately. One even brought a picture of the hotel room she'd booked for that night and handed it to me within the first hour when we met for drinks.