Am I being overly sensitive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think you're being sensitive at all. That was uncalled for.

+10

[Anonymous]

I thought this was the best job market in recent history? Like no unemployment and so many jobs?

Anyway, he sounds like a shallow Ah and you should dump him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think he built off your negativity. His first statement was innocuous but your response might have pushed that conversation in another direction

Hmm I can maybe see that.

I’ll give a little more context. The night prior, he had asked me randomly, again for about the fourth time recently would I get consider getting a BBL. He keeps bringing up the plastic surgery on my butt and then he laughs about it and turns around and says “you know I’m just joking”. I told him continuously asking about me getting plastic surgery on my body isn’t funny. Fast forward about 10 minutes later he asked me if I looked at engagement rings to see what style I liked but then laughed and said “or we could just leave our situation the way it is”. Followed by his favorite line, “you know that I’m just joking”. I obviously didn’t laugh. He said he wanted me to be “soft”. I responded that he makes a lot of passive aggressive “jokes” and although we can and should joke with each other, personal jabs aren’t healthy. He said he agreed with me. So when this came up tonight it was kind of like a forehead smack because we had just talked about this the day before.

Hmm. I don't think you're being honest about any of this, but on the tiny chance you are what are getting out of this relationship?

Why would I lie about something like this? But to answer your question he’s not all bad or I wouldn’t be with him. He’ll say and do a lot of good things but turn around and say dumb things too. There’s a lot of good in him but this part…I admit is pretty bad IMO.

You're roll out of this story and your general attitude gives off troll, that's why. Why would you troll? I don't know. The nad doesn't seem to be worth the good to me. For me putting up with bad means letting go of socks that don't make the hamper not a partner who constantly puts you down . and you feel is critical of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think he built off your negativity. His first statement was innocuous but your response might have pushed that conversation in another direction

Hmm I can maybe see that.

I’ll give a little more context. The night prior, he had asked me randomly, again for about the fourth time recently would I get consider getting a BBL. He keeps bringing up the plastic surgery on my butt and then he laughs about it and turns around and says “you know I’m just joking”. I told him continuously asking about me getting plastic surgery on my body isn’t funny. Fast forward about 10 minutes later he asked me if I looked at engagement rings to see what style I liked but then laughed and said “or we could just leave our situation the way it is”. Followed by his favorite line, “you know that I’m just joking”. I obviously didn’t laugh. He said he wanted me to be “soft”. I responded that he makes a lot of passive aggressive “jokes” and although we can and should joke with each other, personal jabs aren’t healthy. He said he agreed with me. So when this came up tonight it was kind of like a forehead smack because we had just talked about this the day before.

I don't know what his so-called joking is covering up, but if I had to guess, what he says before "I'm just joking" is his truth, and one that he knows you'll disagree with. He wants you to get plastic surgery. He wants to stay single. He thinks you weren't ambitious enough in your job search and just took advantage of the time off.

He sounds kind of like a horrible person. And he doesn't sound like he's ready to be in a real, adult relationship.

I'd tell him that his "jokes" are hurtful, and that from no on, whatever he says before he says he's joking, you're going to take as his truth, and then plan accordingly. (If it were me, I'd already be planning to break it off.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought this was the best job market in recent history? Like no unemployment and so many jobs?

Anyway, he sounds like a shallow Ah and you should dump him.

NP. Job market is horrible! The so called so many jobs are entry level or underpaid positions. So many of us are struggling.
Sorry to sidetrack the post. Moving on...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought this was the best job market in recent history? Like no unemployment and so many jobs?

Anyway, he sounds like a shallow Ah and you should dump him.

Yea, no it’s awful. There have been so many layoffs in my industry the past few years so there’s a lot of us the market but not enough jobs. So, many companies know that they can significantly low ball candidates because a lot of us are on the market. You may be able to find a job but good luck finding one that pays you your worth. I have 12 years of experience in my field and most places want to pay around 60k-75k. Within 30 minutes a remote job will have over a 100 applicants (LinkedIn tells you). As far as the market having so many jobs, a lot of the companies will post fake jobs for 3 reasons: 1) Companies often want to promote or place an internal candidate the role. To cover for potential discrimination laws that could be invoked they put up a job posting and pretend like they are also looking for external candidates. 2)Data farming 3)Makes the company look like they’re in growth mode when they’re actually not. So technically companies can and do report these jobs to the government despite the jobs not actually existing, thus, inflating and skewing the reporting on the job market.

I’m in the recruiting industry.

[Anonymous]

Yes, you are. It's ok. Tomorrow's a new day. You got this, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought this was the best job market in recent history? Like no unemployment and so many jobs?

Anyway, he sounds like a shallow Ah and you should dump him.

Yea, no it’s awful. There have been so many layoffs in my industry the past few years so there’s a lot of us the market but not enough jobs. So, many companies know that they can significantly low ball candidates because a lot of us are on the market. You may be able to find a job but good luck finding one that pays you your worth. I have 12 years of experience in my field and most places want to pay around 60k-75k. Within 30 minutes a remote job will have over a 100 applicants (LinkedIn tells you). As far as the market having so many jobs, a lot of the companies will post fake jobs for 3 reasons: 1) Companies often want to promote or place an internal candidate the role. To cover for potential discrimination laws that could be invoked they put up a job posting and pretend like they are also looking for external candidates. 2)Data farming 3)Makes the company look like they’re in growth mode when they’re actually not. So technically companies can and do report these jobs to the government despite the jobs not actually existing, thus, inflating and skewing the reporting on the job market.

I’m in the recruiting industry.

Interesting. I get at least 4 inquires a week from head hunters and I'm not that great, at least by DCUM standards. Some of them are pretty persistent. No one I know is struggling with getting a new job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:....I’ve struggled to find something since, well at least well paying anyways....

Did you get 1 year of severance? If not, then yes, you are being overly sensitive and, based on the comment above, likely too picky. In the meantime, your SO has carried you, likely without sufficient acknowledgement and appreciation from you.

It doesn't take a year to find steady employment that, at least, contributes to your household. Yet, you focus on a smidgen of snark from your SO while his work allowed you to float for a year.

I don’t live with him. He doesn’t pay my bills. He is my boyfriend, not my husband so no, he hasn’t “carried” me. I haven’t asked nor received a dime for him. So want to try that again?

Please do your research on how bad the market is before coming in here saying it shouldn’t take that long.

Hmm. You sure did add a lot of new detail here. How in the world did you manage a year of unemployment? Anyone who didn't feel the need to take a job, any job, to pay the bills must have a nice bank account.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought this was the best job market in recent history? Like no unemployment and so many jobs?

Anyway, he sounds like a shallow Ah and you should dump him.

Yea, no it’s awful. There have been so many layoffs in my industry the past few years so there’s a lot of us the market but not enough jobs. So, many companies know that they can significantly low ball candidates because a lot of us are on the market. You may be able to find a job but good luck finding one that pays you your worth. I have 12 years of experience in my field and most places want to pay around 60k-75k. Within 30 minutes a remote job will have over a 100 applicants (LinkedIn tells you). As far as the market having so many jobs, a lot of the companies will post fake jobs for 3 reasons: 1) Companies often want to promote or place an internal candidate the role. To cover for potential discrimination laws that could be invoked they put up a job posting and pretend like they are also looking for external candidates. 2)Data farming 3)Makes the company look like they’re in growth mode when they’re actually not. So technically companies can and do report these jobs to the government despite the jobs not actually existing, thus, inflating and skewing the reporting on the job market.

I’m in the recruiting industry.

Interesting. I get at least 4 inquires a week from head hunters and I'm not that great, at least by DCUM standards. Some of them are pretty persistent. No one I know is struggling with getting a new job.

Op again.

What industry are you in? Either way, that’s great that you’ve been poached a lot - definitely jump on it if you’re looking to make a move.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:....I’ve struggled to find something since, well at least well paying anyways....

Did you get 1 year of severance? If not, then yes, you are being overly sensitive and, based on the comment above, likely too picky. In the meantime, your SO has carried you, likely without sufficient acknowledgement and appreciation from you.

It doesn't take a year to find steady employment that, at least, contributes to your household. Yet, you focus on a smidgen of snark from your SO while his work allowed you to float for a year.

I don’t live with him. He doesn’t pay my bills. He is my boyfriend, not my husband so no, he hasn’t “carried” me. I haven’t asked nor received a dime for him. So want to try that again?

Please do your research on how bad the market is before coming in here saying it shouldn’t take that long.

Hmm. You sure did add a lot of new detail here. How in the world did you manage a year of unemployment? Anyone who didn't feel the need to take a job, any job, to pay the bills must have a nice bank account.

I did some independent contracting (that was in the OP). I also got other job offers but the contracts that I would be working on fell through (govcon recruiting) so they couldn’t bring me on. Other places offered such low paying salaries (50k-70k less than what I made as FTE) so I stuck with contracting because it paid a lot more. That, and it afforded me flexibility to apply for a hours a day and to interview. So that’s another reason why I was so thrown off by his “took a year off” comment/“joke”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought this was the best job market in recent history? Like no unemployment and so many jobs?

Anyway, he sounds like a shallow Ah and you should dump him.

Yea, no it’s awful. There have been so many layoffs in my industry the past few years so there’s a lot of us the market but not enough jobs. So, many companies know that they can significantly low ball candidates because a lot of us are on the market. You may be able to find a job but good luck finding one that pays you your worth. I have 12 years of experience in my field and most places want to pay around 60k-75k. Within 30 minutes a remote job will have over a 100 applicants (LinkedIn tells you). As far as the market having so many jobs, a lot of the companies will post fake jobs for 3 reasons: 1) Companies often want to promote or place an internal candidate the role. To cover for potential discrimination laws that could be invoked they put up a job posting and pretend like they are also looking for external candidates. 2)Data farming 3)Makes the company look like they’re in growth mode when they’re actually not. So technically companies can and do report these jobs to the government despite the jobs not actually existing, thus, inflating and skewing the reporting on the job market.

I’m in the recruiting industry.

Sorry to hijack but what industry?

[Anonymous]

OP you should dump him. Even though I think you might be trollinh because you say he did not carry you, is only your boyfriend but then went to bed after the snark. So you live with this guy or he spends the night sometimes?

He sounds horrible.

[Anonymous]

Saying “just kidding” after a snarky statement is mean spirited. So what if you took a year off, he’s not paying your electric bill. Kicking you when you are down isn’t a good look. He sounds immature.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you should dump him. Even though I think you might be trollinh because you say he did not carry you, is only your boyfriend but then went to bed after the snark. So you live with this guy or he spends the night sometimes?

He sounds horrible.

He spends the night at my place sometimes and vice versa, so that’s why he said I’m going to bed. We don’t live together…