Leaving a team mid year

[Anonymous]

^sorry new club she joined larger/stronger

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. We had players leave the first 3 months of the Fall. I heard they just stop paying, clubs did not try to get the rest of the money back but the player is on the blacklist and will not be able to join again.

lol sure. I have seen so many parents say so and so is on this club “blacklist” only for the kid to be back next year on the top team.

[Anonymous]

Why is this hard? Teach your kid ethics. Follow your commitment through. When you’re a “free agent” at the end of the year, try out elsewhere to your little heart’s content.

[Anonymous]

We had an ES-aged kid burnout on a sport (soccer) mid-year a couple years ago and was getting to the point she was getting turned off from the sport that she previously loved as her favorite. She was occasionally breaking down in tears on practice days and didn't want to go.

We talked about commitment and following through with her, but at same time she was still a single-digit aged kid, so we came what seemed a reasonable compromise of scaling back to just 2 practices per week. But we still went to (almost) all the weekend games, and it helped she was willing to play GK (and was pretty good at it) which gave her teammates more field time, so the club didn't seem to mind. This mostly held up, but towards the end of spring season we scaled even further back to just 1 practice per week because her school started giving more HW and it didn't seem to matter to the club.

She took last year off from organized soccer, but played a lot during school recess, or in backyard with siblings/friends. This year she's back playing club soccer and thriving (albeit with a different club that seems a better fit, the prior one the parents seemed pretty competitive amongst themselves re: positions and playing times, and that trickled down to the kids attitudes towards teammates being more concerned about the "who's better than who" pecking order, rather than a preferred "we're a team trying that's supporting each other's development and trying to win together" attitude).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We had an ES-aged kid burnout on a sport (soccer) mid-year a couple years ago and was getting to the point she was getting turned off from the sport that she previously loved as her favorite. She was occasionally breaking down in tears on practice days and didn't want to go.

We talked about commitment and following through with her, but at same time she was still a single-digit aged kid, so we came what seemed a reasonable compromise of scaling back to just 2 practices per week. But we still went to (almost) all the weekend games, and it helped she was willing to play GK (and was pretty good at it) which gave her teammates more field time, so the club didn't seem to mind. This mostly held up, but towards the end of spring season we scaled even further back to just 1 practice per week because her school started giving more HW and it didn't seem to matter to the club.

She took last year off from organized soccer, but played a lot during school recess, or in backyard with siblings/friends. This year she's back playing club soccer and thriving (albeit with a different club that seems a better fit, the prior one the parents seemed pretty competitive amongst themselves re: positions and playing times, and that trickled down to the kids attitudes towards teammates being more concerned about the "who's better than who" pecking order, rather than a preferred "we're a team trying that's supporting each other's development and trying to win together" attitude).

PP, just want to add I also think it depends if the kid really knows/understands what they were signing up for. I don't think our kid really had any way of forecasting the duration or intensity of the schedule for the year, so holding her fully accountable for the "commitment" she made feels a bit unreasonable and punitive. So it's a balance. That said, we made the point before this year that she now knows what's she's getting into, and barring some pretty extenuating circumstances we wouldn't be voluntarily missing practices this year, even if she wasn't enjoying it. She's both a couple years older and has the experience to actually know what she's getting into, so as such we expect her to take more ownership over this decision now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

My son did this, sort of. He wanted to do a different sport at his high school, and wasn't having fun at soccer any more. He talked to the coach about his decision, and the coach asked if he would be willing to finish out games for the season, in addition to doing one practice per week with an older age group where the time didn't conflict with his HS sport. TBH, he didn't really want to, but agreed to it. The issue was not that he was such an amazing player, but that the team was sort of leanly staffed and they didn't have another player they wanted to move up a team. He knew he was done, but it worked out ok to finish out the season this way.


So many are comfortable teaching your kids to be unreliable, teaching them to be spoiled quitters, teaching them they are entitled

Yes, if you no longer want to do a mid level $2K a year travel soccer team, you are morally compelled to stick with it. F your own happiness and mental health, it is travel ball above all.

Wasn't it mid-level $2K a year when you signed the commitment letter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son did this, sort of. He wanted to do a different sport at his high school, and wasn't having fun at soccer any more. He talked to the coach about his decision, and the coach asked if he would be willing to finish out games for the season, in addition to doing one practice per week with an older age group where the time didn't conflict with his HS sport. TBH, he didn't really want to, but agreed to it. The issue was not that he was such an amazing player, but that the team was sort of leanly staffed and they didn't have another player they wanted to move up a team. He knew he was done, but it worked out ok to finish out the season this way.

So many are comfortable teaching your kids to be unreliable, teaching them to be spoiled quitters, teaching them they are entitled

Teaching self-care and self worth is valuable too especially in the women's game were toxic male coaches is the norm. Think I'm trolling then read the Yates report and know I'm very serious

Unfortunately because of the false levels of self importance, perceived privilege and entitlement, the self worth is highly inflated in most cases

So many trying to remove all obstacles and adversity from their DC's existence. Then they enter the real world as dependent adults who can't deal with hurdles.
So they quit and quit and quit

Or worse, they spend their days trolling on internet forums.

Says the person commenting on an internet forum

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had an ES-aged kid burnout on a sport (soccer) mid-year a couple years ago and was getting to the point she was getting turned off from the sport that she previously loved as her favorite. She was occasionally breaking down in tears on practice days and didn't want to go.

We talked about commitment and following through with her, but at same time she was still a single-digit aged kid, so we came what seemed a reasonable compromise of scaling back to just 2 practices per week. But we still went to (almost) all the weekend games, and it helped she was willing to play GK (and was pretty good at it) which gave her teammates more field time, so the club didn't seem to mind. This mostly held up, but towards the end of spring season we scaled even further back to just 1 practice per week because her school started giving more HW and it didn't seem to matter to the club.

She took last year off from organized soccer, but played a lot during school recess, or in backyard with siblings/friends. This year she's back playing club soccer and thriving (albeit with a different club that seems a better fit, the prior one the parents seemed pretty competitive amongst themselves re: positions and playing times, and that trickled down to the kids attitudes towards teammates being more concerned about the "who's better than who" pecking order, rather than a preferred "we're a team trying that's supporting each other's development and trying to win together" attitude).

PP, just want to add I also think it depends if the kid really knows/understands what they were signing up for. I don't think our kid really had any way of forecasting the duration or intensity of the schedule for the year, so holding her fully accountable for the "commitment" she made feels a bit unreasonable and punitive. So it's a balance. That said, we made the point before this year that she now knows what's she's getting into, and barring some pretty extenuating circumstances we wouldn't be voluntarily missing practices this year, even if she wasn't enjoying it. She's both a couple years older and has the experience to actually know what she's getting into, so as such we expect her to take more ownership over this decision now.

I get this. I was thinking the question is more about wanting to change clubs. But if club environment is toxic and/or kid is really overwhelmed /unhappy and doesn’t have a pattern of quitting things, I can see how this sometimes need to be. At this stage in the season, no one is locked in until you re-sign so this is the time to try to pre-empt something like that with research and open discussion with kid. If you have any specific questions or concerns as you consider an upcoming year of soccer, I am happy to answer as I can. (Signed, The parent that said be ethical)

[Anonymous]

I would not allow my HS kid to do this. He is not going to be an elite player in college. He is going to learn to stick with a commitment. We talk about it before we register him and he knows what he is agreeing to.

Didn’t play on travel teams in ES. I think I would let an ES kid out of a year long commitment if they were unhappy. Not sure it’s a fair ask of them to commit for a year. That is a very long time when you are 9!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son did this, sort of. He wanted to do a different sport at his high school, and wasn't having fun at soccer any more. He talked to the coach about his decision, and the coach asked if he would be willing to finish out games for the season, in addition to doing one practice per week with an older age group where the time didn't conflict with his HS sport. TBH, he didn't really want to, but agreed to it. The issue was not that he was such an amazing player, but that the team was sort of leanly staffed and they didn't have another player they wanted to move up a team. He knew he was done, but it worked out ok to finish out the season this way.

So many are comfortable teaching your kids to be unreliable, teaching them to be spoiled quitters, teaching them they are entitled

Teaching self-care and self worth is valuable too especially in the women's game were toxic male coaches is the norm. Think I'm trolling then read the Yates report and know I'm very serious

I agree. Why teach them they have to put up with toxicity? No one, not of any age, has to put up with emotional abuse and dishonesty.

[Anonymous]

PPA is a transactional club. It creates all kinds of substandard programs including putting coaches who could care less with development kids, adding travel teams with poor coaching for kids who have no business playing club (yellow U10?) and charging thousands of dollars for it. I would not have a problem taking my child to be transactional to a transactional program. Square up, pay the fee, and use the program for what you want.

High School team or a less transactional club like Arlington I would be teaching life lessons about commitment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PPA is a transactional club. It creates all kinds of substandard programs including putting coaches who could care less with development kids, adding travel teams with poor coaching for kids who have no business playing club (yellow U10?) and charging thousands of dollars for it. I would not have a problem taking my child to be transactional to a transactional program. Square up, pay the fee, and use the program for what you want.

High School team or a less transactional club like Arlington I would be teaching life lessons about commitment.

I would agreed that ppa is substandard except for maybe a couple of Stand out teams [not age groups. Teams. 09 girls, 13 girls, 11 boys used to be.] It is also inordinate expensive but hey. Upper NW and lower MOCO gonna pay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not allow my HS kid to do this. He is not going to be an elite player in college. He is going to learn to stick with a commitment. We talk about it before we register him and he knows what he is agreeing to.

Didn’t play on travel teams in ES. I think I would let an ES kid out of a year long commitment if they were unhappy. Not sure it’s a fair ask of them to commit for a year. That is a very long time when you are 9!

This is utter nonsense. Would you stay in a toxic relationship or work environment? Why should your dc just because they are in HS.

[Anonymous]

I am surprised people are opposed to dropping it in high school if it really is not working for a kid. My son and one other boy on his team were iced out by the rest of their teammates. I suspect it was in part due to the other kid's sexual orientation and the fact that my son was friends with him, but I don't know for sure. Coach did nothing about it. We had no qualms whatsoever about dropping mid season and having my son do the same sport at his own high school, it was a horrible travel experience.

[Anonymous]

Quitting mid-year usually means paying out the rest of the money to the club except in the case of a distant move (not Springfield to Alexandria) or because of a serious injury (ACL type of thing).