Boyfriend and I have been arguing and I asked for a break; he's immediately out dating other women

[Anonymous]

He either had this person on the line already while you were dating, or he ran out of your argument and asked out a stranger to rub your face in it.

I don't think I'd want to date either of those men, but you seem to have a very dramatic lifestyle so maybe this is fun for you.

[Anonymous]

You're better off without him.

But, a lesson for you is don't say or ask for things you don't really mean.

Don't ask for a break if you don't want to see them dating someone else.


A break is a breakup

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He either had this person on the line already while you were dating, or he ran out of your argument and asked out a stranger to rub your face in it.

I don't think I'd want to date either of those men, but you seem to have a very dramatic lifestyle so maybe this is fun for you.

He has a lot of girls who are interested in him, back from his days of being a partier and on the social scene. Some of them still message him, tag him in their stories, etc, but since we spend all our time together it doesnt usually bother me as I know he's with me. It was easy for him to get this woman out on a date, as I knew it would be, because he has a long list of these kind of "groupie" women who are obsessed with him. I just didn't expect him to actually go through with it. I dont care about these girls, I DO care about his disloyalty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A break is a breakup. You can't have it both ways.

Is this Rachel from Friends?

Ross: We were on a break!

I agree with OP that there should be a difference between break and breakup.

It seems like he isn’t really committed to the relationship and/or he’s trying to manipulate you. Either way, I think it’s probably time for a breakup, especially since there were already enough problems that you needed a break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A break is a breakup. You can't have it both ways.

Is this Rachel from Friends?

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
And what were you expecting, exactly?

Not for him to be banging some other woman and rubbing it in my face less than a day later.

NP. And why was it you want to get back with him, again?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
And what were you expecting, exactly?

Not for him to be banging some other woman and rubbing it in my face less than a day later.

I mean, I feel like this is not unreasonable for you to feel this way. There's a break (which you asked for). But being a complete dickhead and rubbing it in your face publicly a day later . . . he's showing you his true colors I guess. When the going gets tough, he goes the route of being cruel.

I wouldn't get back with him if I were you. He is intentionally trying to hurt and humiliate you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A break is a break

And 10/10 he’s just trying to get back at you

Don’t feed into it, asking for a break is the first steps of an official break up.

If that’s not what you wanted then I wouldn’t of threatened it.

I view a break as a time to pause and think about things. I didnt even want an official "break" just for my own space back so he wouldnt be in my tiny apartment for a few nights.

If you can’t ask him to spend two nights at his own place without him running to date other women, he is not a good man. And he was clearly using his alleged popularity/attractiveness to “so many girls” to make you feel lucky to have him - ICK!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He either had this person on the line already while you were dating, or he ran out of your argument and asked out a stranger to rub your face in it.

I don't think I'd want to date either of those men, but you seem to have a very dramatic lifestyle so maybe this is fun for you.

He has a lot of girls who are interested in him, back from his days of being a partier and on the social scene. Some of them still message him, tag him in their stories, etc, but since we spend all our time together it doesnt usually bother me as I know he's with me. It was easy for him to get this woman out on a date, as I knew it would be, because he has a long list of these kind of "groupie" women who are obsessed with him. I just didn't expect him to actually go through with it. I dont care about these girls, I DO care about his disloyalty.

I had a relationship with a guy like this. He always had women trying to flirt with him, hook up, meet up, etc., even though they knew we were together. Well, we started having issues and broke up but were still talking and it was undecided if we would stay that way. Within a day or two, he hooked up with this girl who was OPENLY pursuing him and who annoyed the heck out of me for that reason. And b/c he seemed to enjoy the attention.

I was done. Not only did he do it. With someone I disliked. He did it in a way that was public knowledge so others knew. I think he thought I'd realize I made some sort of mistake. All it did was confirm my decision. HE is the one who came crawling back but I was over it by then.

[Anonymous]

I agree that you both sound immature. Your continual "breaks" are not healthy, nor are his shenanigans with other women.

Break up for good, and find a more mature partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
And what were you expecting, exactly?

Not for him to be banging some other woman and rubbing it in my face less than a day later.

I mean, I feel like this is not unreasonable for you to feel this way. There's a break (which you asked for). But being a complete dickhead and rubbing it in your face publicly a day later . . . he's showing you his true colors I guess. When the going gets tough, he goes the route of being cruel.

I wouldn't get back with him if I were you. He is intentionally trying to hurt and humiliate you.

+1

[Anonymous]

He's just not that into you.

[Anonymous]

You asked for a break and he told you he would spend time with other women. I’m sure seeing the post of him out with someone else hurts, but I have no doubt your insistence on a break hurt him first.

Time to move on.

[Anonymous]

OP,

Promise us you're not taking him back.

You'll thank us later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A break is a breakup. You can't have it both ways.

Is this Rachel from Friends?

Ross: We were on a break!

I agree with OP that there should be a difference between break and breakup.

It seems like he isn’t really committed to the relationship and/or he’s trying to manipulate you. Either way, I think it’s probably time for a breakup, especially since there were already enough problems that you needed a break.

It can be *allowed* that he'd date when OP asked for a break - but that probably doesn't make her eager to end the break and get back together. That's allowed, too.

Sorry OP.