Young Parent-Do you pass judgement?

[Anonymous]

My husband and I are young parents as well, now 36 with a college freshman and a child entering into high school next year. With my first child going to a private high school I felt the same way. But I will tell you from my experience, your child will find their people and those parents become your people. My child’s friend group had parents that ranged from 13-17 years older than me and it didn’t matter. If anyone treats you otherwise, just remove yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was 15 when I had my first and 18 when I had my second. My experience has been that once people see that I'm competent and my kid is just as functional as theirs, they ignore my age.

Well, if your kids follow in your footsteps, you’ll be a grandma within the year so…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I are young parents as well, now 36 with a college freshman and a child entering into high school next year. With my first child going to a private high school I felt the same way. But I will tell you from my experience, your child will find their people and those parents become your people. My child’s friend group had parents that ranged from 13-17 years older than me and it didn’t matter. If anyone treats you otherwise, just remove yourself.

Ahhhh, sweet teenage pregnancy.

[Anonymous]

Glad to see that DCUM remains a kind, compassionate place.

OP - Parental involvement in HS can be very light to non-existent if you want it to be. If you want to be involved, however, I would hope that any cattiness on the part of parents doesn't transfer to their kids. They are probably ignoring their parents, anyway (speaking from experience).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I are young parents as well, now 36 with a college freshman and a child entering into high school next year. With my first child going to a private high school I felt the same way. But I will tell you from my experience, your child will find their people and those parents become your people. My child’s friend group had parents that ranged from 13-17 years older than me and it didn’t matter. If anyone treats you otherwise, just remove yourself.

That’s embarrassing for your college freshman. People are having kids for the first or second time at that age, not sending kids to college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Glad to see that DCUM remains a kind, compassionate place.

OP - Parental involvement in HS can be very light to non-existent if you want it to be. If you want to be involved, however, I would hope that any cattiness on the part of parents doesn't transfer to their kids. They are probably ignoring their parents, anyway (speaking from experience).

It’s not cattiness, it simply not a shared parent age experience.

[Anonymous]

Geez, so much pearl clutching, even for DCUM.

I think the handful of witches who care are here on this thread. Most people won’t. Many won’t even notice.

It’s HS. Honestly, there’s not the level of parent interaction there was back in elementary. You won’t be that teenage mom showing up to your toddler’s class Thanksgiving lunch and being judged. The snippy reactions of the PPs here not withstanding, you’ll be fine.

[Anonymous]

I don't think you need to disclose your age to these parents. There is a wide range in ages with my children's classes. I was 33 when I had my oldest and 38 when I had my youngest, and in even in my youngest's class I am not the oldest parent. One of the mom's just turned 50! I can understand why you might feel uncomfortable with it, but trust that nobody knows how old you are. If someone says you look young, just simply say, "thanks, I take care of myself"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Glad to see that DCUM remains a kind, compassionate place.

OP - Parental involvement in HS can be very light to non-existent if you want it to be. If you want to be involved, however, I would hope that any cattiness on the part of parents doesn't transfer to their kids. They are probably ignoring their parents, anyway (speaking from experience).

Parents don’t want their children hanging outside of school with other children who have parents with irresponsible behavior. I don’t know a soul who has two children as a teen. Wouldn’t OP be mortified if her high schooler was expecting two children? Maybe not.

[Anonymous]

If you are hot, your sons friends will notice.

[Anonymous]

OP, I would only be worried if this were in the elementary grades, where there are a lot more parties that aren't drop off, and event where you will have to socialize more. In high school, no one cares. No one should care at any grade level, but, the world is filly with crappy people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Geez, so much pearl clutching, even for DCUM.

I think the handful of witches who care are here on this thread. Most people won’t. Many won’t even notice.

It’s HS. Honestly, there’s not the level of parent interaction there was back in elementary. You won’t be that teenage mom showing up to your toddler’s class Thanksgiving lunch and being judged. The snippy reactions of the PPs here not withstanding, you’ll be fine.

Having 2 teen pregnancies is “pearl clutching.” Or you’re just an idiot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think you need to disclose your age to these parents. There is a wide range in ages with my children's classes. I was 33 when I had my oldest and 38 when I had my youngest, and in even in my youngest's class I am not the oldest parent. One of the mom's just turned 50! I can understand why you might feel uncomfortable with it, but trust that nobody knows how old you are. If someone says you look young, just simply say, "thanks, I take care of myself"

Her age will be obvious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was 15 when I had my first and 18 when I had my second. My experience has been that once people see that I'm competent and my kid is just as functional as theirs, they ignore my age.

I assume you now have at least one child in private school since you're on this board....so good for you! Job well done for figuring it out, prioritizing parenthood and doing everything you can to be a good parent.

[Anonymous]

That reminds me, I need to put my hoe in the shed.