Moving meetings to accommodate daycare pickup

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it's just an internal call with coworkers I think it's pretty reasonable to shift it a bit.

Not if other people on that call have arranged their schedules around it.

OP most childcare centers are open until 5:30-6. Use late pick up if needed on those days.
The world will not stop spinning because of your child. Your husband seems to get it and you will too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it's just an internal call with coworkers I think it's pretty reasonable to shift it a bit.

Not if other people on that call have arranged their schedules around it.

OP most childcare centers are open until 5:30-6. Use late pick up if needed on those days.
The world will not stop spinning because of your child. Your husband seems to get it and you will too.

The world will also not stop spinning if a meeting is moved. Totally reasonable to shift to an hour earlier.

OP, can he formalize this schedule? Like, officially notify his team and set his calendar to only show availability 7:30-3:30.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“He feels that it is not reasonable to disrupt any work meetings for childcare.”

Good luck navigating with this guy when the child is sick. He’s going to have a steep learning curve.

This 100%

[Anonymous]

What time does your daycare close?

[Anonymous]

I routinely schedule meetings around my child’s needs and I wouldn’t hesitate to move a meeting because of one of my colleagues needs whether it was related to childcare or not. If they’re no longer available at that time, they’re no longer available. The reason why doesn’t matter.

[Anonymous]

Please make sure that the daycare has him listed as the first call when the baby is sent home sick.

[Anonymous]

He will need to learn to be flexible with his job. And that an internal meeting should be easy enough to move with notice. But make sure it's the kid of workplace where routinely leaving before 5pm is okay culturally. At my old fed job, people did work that shifted schedule. At my current job it would be unusual.

Also agree that most daycares are open later so people may raise eyebrows at the weekly early departure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your DH is stating that 1 day a week he cannot do pick up then appreciate the 4 other days he can and you go into work earlier on his late day or ask to work remotely to accomodate day care pick up. Parenting and logistics is a negotiation a lot of times. There will be lots of hills, pick the right ones to die on.

DH doing pick up is not a favor to his wife -- it's an equal responsibility to their child. If he can't do pick up, then he needs to propose another plan that works for both of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your DH is stating that 1 day a week he cannot do pick up then appreciate the 4 other days he can and you go into work earlier on his late day or ask to work remotely to accomodate day care pick up. Parenting and logistics is a negotiation a lot of times. There will be lots of hills, pick the right ones to die on.

DH doing pick up is not a favor to his wife -- it's an equal responsibility to their child. If he can't do pick up, then he needs to propose another plan that works for both of you.

+1. OP, someone said not to die on this hill, but I think this is a hill you want to die on. I haven't seen one person acknowledge that you are shifting things around in your schedule - "I will be 100% responsible for mornings and will be moving a lot of meetings to make that possible." - but your husband is keeping his normal schedule and the one day he has a conflict he doesn't want to either do morning instead or move/not make a meeting. This a bad foot to be starting out on IMO. He's basically put all of the accommodating on you from the very start.

I know my own experience is that it does not get easier to break this pattern the longer it goes on, and I think most women would agree with me. If you don't stand up for yourself and insist on an as close to equitable split in responsibilities as possible from the start you ought to get used to being the one to always accommodate and pick up the slack.

[Anonymous]

Picking up at 4pm daily seems unreasonably early for most careers. There is no way I can pick up prior to 6:15. Im rushing out the door at 6pm to grab them (and their daycare is in my building).

I manage a large number of people and we have a culture at work the requires in-office presence (which I prefer). People with children shouldn’t get special perks to leave early or reschedule on the backs of their childless coworkers.

[Anonymous]

He leaves 330 pm every day? Crazy early.

[Anonymous]

What time does your daycare require pickup?

Finishing a meeting at 4:30 seems like it gives plenty of time for pickup ( ours was open until 6).

Is there a reason he can’t finish his meeting & then head out for pickup? Or your daycare requires pickup by 4? That might be a daycare mismatch then.

[Anonymous]

You need longer daycare hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Picking up at 4pm daily seems unreasonably early for most careers. There is no way I can pick up prior to 6:15. Im rushing out the door at 6pm to grab them (and their daycare is in my building).

I manage a large number of people and we have a culture at work the requires in-office presence (which I prefer). People with children shouldn’t get special perks to leave early or reschedule on the backs of their childless coworkers.

I don’t think your schedule of rushing out at 6 pm is typical either and there are plenty of us that work more flexible schedules kids, and in many workplaces that is fine.

Op I work an early schedule like your husband and I do understand the difficulty of asking to switch when you are leaving on such an early end even when you work the hours. 3:30 is just early and I do have to adjust a reasonable amount of time to meet coworkers scheduling needs as well. That being said for a standing meeting that it is internal, he can casually say would you all mind after the baby comes if we move this to xx? He doesn’t have to say it is to do pick up, I usually leave that out. Folks will get the gist and be fine

[Anonymous]

What kind of daycare closes at 3:30? In fact, I’ve picked my kids up early and many are still napping at 3:30.