DD claims I'm "ruining" her life

[Anonymous]

All of my 13 year old friends have phones, I believe your daughter when she says it’s impacting her social life

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get her a watch, not a phone. Those things are dangerous for children!

Yes!! This is what I got my child and it works great. They can communicate with me, make plans with friends, be on text chains etc. However, they aren’t staring at their watch 15 hours a day like they would be with a phone.

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Like it or not, teens' social lives are on their phones. Your daughter IS missing out on a huge chunk of high school social life, OP. Trust your kid until she gives you a big reason not to trust her anymore. Lead with trust, not fear.

[Anonymous]

Your daughter’s being dramatic, children don’t need cell phones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Like it or not, teens' social lives are on their phones. Your daughter IS missing out on a huge chunk of high school social life, OP. Trust your kid until she gives you a big reason not to trust her anymore. Lead with trust, not fear.

+100

You’re doing her a disservice in this day and age for the sake of your own ego.

Plus, even if the circumstances were different (and that’s a pretty weak comparison anyway), your double standard looks like you are favoring your older daughter over this one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would just tell her you're getting her one in August. It spoils the surprise but you can explain your reasoning and that shows you are not just keeping her from having one.

+1 but I would say 16 then give it earlier for good behavior

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

We got her older sister a phone at 14, but the situation was different. She was walking to school alone and DD gets dropped of through car line with younger sibling at school, and picked up.

Pause. Dropped off through what? With who? Did you see the post about the Uber driver rapes teen?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of my 13 year old friends have phones, I believe your daughter when she says it’s impacting her social life

Yeah I normally would say don’t give in to the demands of a 14 year old but my 12 and 13 year olds have zero friends without a phone. In this case she is probably the very last one and you have some arbitrary date in your mind that is delaying her ability to socialize with her friends in the way they all socialize. Get her the phone.

[Anonymous]

My kid has locked down bark phone and that does the trick.

[Anonymous]

Just let her have the phone.

[Anonymous]

Here's something I realized with my kid, every time they are trying to make their point heard, I say they are whining or complaining. They are at the age where they are entitled to have opinions. You are objectively ruining her social life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take the heat and don't cave in. Too many kids are turning into phone zombies. She'll thank you when she's older.

Lol or it becomes a lifelong point of contention that it ruined her social life and was unfair the rules were different for her sister.

[Anonymous]

OP, it sounds like you have a good kid, and you're doing her a disservice with such an outdated POV regarding phones. Like it or not, that's how kids communicate now. Surprise her now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here's something I realized with my kid, every time they are trying to make their point heard, I say they are whining or complaining. They are at the age where they are entitled to have opinions. You are objectively ruining her social life.

Inability to text is not the end of the world for kids who see each other on school and presumably the child can be reached through some other means. Facetime on iPad? Parent's phone for emergencies?

It's good for kids to understand first world problems are not ruining their lives.