How to shut down critical comments?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"That's rude"
-say nothing after that. You do not want to state a question.

These are grown adults and family. Be as direct to them as they are with you. “That’s rude.” “ That is not nice.” “You are being rude.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like "Thats not a very nice thing to say"

I said this, and the reply was, "I'm not very nice."

Wow! I dont think I'd invite this person over again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like "Thats not a very nice thing to say"

I said this, and the reply was, "I'm not very nice."

Wow! I dont think I'd invite this person over again.

I’m OP (not the PP), and I can totally see this happening. But I’m going to try it and see what happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like "Thats not a very nice thing to say"

I said this, and the reply was, "I'm not very nice."

"You don't have to 'be nice' to understand that I don't tolerate rude behavior. If you choose to say unkind things to me in my home again, you will be asked to leave. Are we clear?"

[Anonymous]

oof, seems like a good time to roll out the ol'
"opinions are like a**holes"

but genuinely, sometimes I like
"what was the point of that response?" or
"can you talk me through your thinking here?"

[Anonymous]

"What a nice thing to say"

[Anonymous]

Stare blankly at the person for 3 seconds, then completely ignore the comment.

[Anonymous]

Can you give an example? Is this like...Liz that shade of blue is not good for you? Liz, your jeans are so last year? Liz, your hips are too wide to wear leggings?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stare blankly at the person for 3 seconds, then completely ignore the comment.

This! So many times we are taught the power of our voice. However, under certain circumstances, there is so much power in silence. Stare at the person and then go about your business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like "Thats not a very nice thing to say"

I said this, and the reply was, "I'm not very nice."

Simple. You don’t invite them to your house anymore. Who cares if they’re relatives that doesn’t mean they get to be rude. And if that means your auntie or granny doesn’t get invited to her house anymore, then that’s what it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For instance, if a relative comes into your home and starts criticizing how you look or how you are dressed, what is a way to shut them down?

I’ve thought about “that’s so rude. Why would you say that?” But I don’t want to invite a conversation. I just want it to stop.

So “that’s rude.” Full stop. What else?

Get a cute visible sign made for your front door, "Unsolicited advice isn't welcome here. Save your wisdom."

[Anonymous]

"Bring kindness with you, leave criticism at the door."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stare blankly at the person for 3 seconds, then completely ignore the comment.

💯

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you give an example? Is this like...Liz that shade of blue is not good for you? Liz, your jeans are so last year? Liz, your hips are too wide to wear leggings?

Most recently it was proclamations about me to anyone that was within listening distance: “Oh, she looks so uncomfortable. . .” Followed by laughter. Over and over again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stare blankly at the person for 3 seconds, then completely ignore the comment.

💯

So I generally agree, and that’s kind of what I generally do, but ignoring the comment starts feeling like I am holding it in and biting my teeth, then that starts festering.