Anyone else going through this? Wary about discussing kids' success around public school family members

[Anonymous]

My kids have to turn their school-logo wear inside out to hide the name, lest it sparks unbridled jealousy among the poors.

[Anonymous]

I can’t relate. I have two teens, one in public and one in private. Among their cousins, who are all out of college and in their 20s, three went to private and three went to public. The public-educated kids are faring better at adulthood across the board. Better college acceptances, higher paying jobs, and better general independence. Every single one of these 6 kids went through degrees of an awkward, mumbly phase as a teenager, though. Get over yourself, OP.

[Anonymous]

Where do the other kids go to public school? In Kentucky?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lesson: don’t talk up your kids. Ever.

Easier said than done. In a big, close & gregarious extended family, how the kids are doing tends to dominate basically every gathering and phone call.

[Anonymous]

Just say the kids are doing great. No one needs to know that Bretton got a 1540 on her SATs and Brinleeee got a 5 on his AP test.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t relate. I have two teens, one in public and one in private. Among their cousins, who are all out of college and in their 20s, three went to private and three went to public. The public-educated kids are faring better at adulthood across the board. Better college acceptances, higher paying jobs, and better general independence. Every single one of these 6 kids went through degrees of an awkward, mumbly phase as a teenager, though. Get over yourself, OP.

Yeah. My second born (private HS), 15 year old, is a mumbler. It was age that made the difference with my older one. After 16, he grew in confidence and speaking with adults. It's not just the private school.

Our neighborhood has a ton of public school kids, many that went off to great colleges in the last couple of years and speak clearly and with poise, well-mannered.

I think it says more about 'where' your relatives live, which public school--than the public school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lesson: don’t talk up your kids. Ever.

Easier said than done. In a big, close & gregarious extended family, how the kids are doing tends to dominate basically every gathering and phone call.

If you can't talk about how your kids are doing without coming across as bragging on them, that's on you. It is not hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t relate. I have two teens, one in public and one in private. Among their cousins, who are all out of college and in their 20s, three went to private and three went to public. The public-educated kids are faring better at adulthood across the board. Better college acceptances, higher paying jobs, and better general independence. Every single one of these 6 kids went through degrees of an awkward, mumbly phase as a teenager, though. Get over yourself, OP.

Yeah. My second born (private HS), 15 year old, is a mumbler. It was age that made the difference with my older one. After 16, he grew in confidence and speaking with adults. It's not just the private school.

Our neighborhood has a ton of public school kids, many that went off to great colleges in the last couple of years and speak clearly and with poise, well-mannered.

I think it says more about 'where' your relatives live, which public school--than the public school.

Public school is public school. Sure some places can polish a turd, but a turd is still a turd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just say the kids are doing great. No one needs to know that Bretton got a 1540 on her SATs and Brinleeee got a 5 on his AP test.

This. It’s not hard, OP. And if your kids are accustomed to hearing you blab on about their grades and scores, I’d try real hard to nip that in the bud. Eventually they’ll run into challenging things in life, and they might have a hard time if they’ve been made to think their mommy’s perfect little superstars.

[Anonymous]

My kids are lifers at a top public, their cousins are top students at an excellent public. They have similar grades and scores and will likely end up at similar colleges so I don't make much of the differences but I have had several interactions with family where they say something about us thinking we're better, or that our kids are advantaged. It's disappointing as I try not to play up any differences. We make a point of not mentioning anything that might be distinct about the experience.

[Anonymous]

"Larla's doing well. She loves English but Biology is tough this year. How is Johnny's soccer season going? Is he still like French class?"

No need to mention it's AP Biology or that their English class is going to see Shakespeare at the Kennedy Center. No need to ask academically comparative questions - focus on another element of niece or nephew's life. Share lives but you can avoid the details that might come across as competitive or condescending.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Very open large extended family, so we talk about everything under the sun, both my side and in-laws. Dozens of nieces and nephews, so of course every parent is always talking up how their kids are doing. We didn't really notice when they were younger, but as our private school children (and their public school cousins) progress through high school, the gaps are clearly and sadly widening. Not just grades, but honor and advanced courses, the genuine rigor, and AP and SAT scores. When we're together for large family gatherings, our kids act far more mature and confident. They've become polished public speakers, they don't mumble and avoid eye contact when they speak to adults. Lately, I feel like I have to walk on eggshells when we're talking about how our kids are doing in school and their plans for the future. I don't even know if they can detect the stark differences, but I'm so worried they will, that I feel like I'm being evasive about things we used to freely discuss.

This is utter BS.

Privates are not better than public particularly in College Admissions and science. & math.

Move along you are an idiot and your family is just dumb nothing to do with publics.

All six of mine graduated from public I can honestly say you are an idiot. Were did they go from public 2 MIT, YALE, STANFORD, C MELLON, GEORGIA TECH, next up grad school all went some even went to medical school. From public and we are not alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very open large extended family, so we talk about everything under the sun, both my side and in-laws. Dozens of nieces and nephews, so of course every parent is always talking up how their kids are doing. We didn't really notice when they were younger, but as our private school children (and their public school cousins) progress through high school, the gaps are clearly and sadly widening. Not just grades, but honor and advanced courses, the genuine rigor, and AP and SAT scores. When we're together for large family gatherings, our kids act far more mature and confident. They've become polished public speakers, they don't mumble and avoid eye contact when they speak to adults. Lately, I feel like I have to walk on eggshells when we're talking about how our kids are doing in school and their plans for the future. I don't even know if they can detect the stark differences, but I'm so worried they will, that I feel like I'm being evasive about things we used to freely discuss.

This is utter BS.

Privates are not better than public particularly in College Admissions and science. & math.

Move along you are an idiot and your family is just dumb nothing to do with publics.

All six of mine graduated from public I can honestly say you are an idiot. Were did they go from public 2 MIT, YALE, STANFORD, C MELLON, GEORGIA TECH, next up grad school all went some even went to medical school. From public and we are not alone.

I hope English isn't your first language. You are about as refined as a feral cat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids are lifers at a top public, their cousins are top students at an excellent public. They have similar grades and scores and will likely end up at similar colleges so I don't make much of the differences but I have had several interactions with family where they say something about us thinking we're better, or that our kids are advantaged. It's disappointing as I try not to play up any differences. We make a point of not mentioning anything that might be distinct about the experience.

Seems like you failed at trying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very open large extended family, so we talk about everything under the sun, both my side and in-laws. Dozens of nieces and nephews, so of course every parent is always talking up how their kids are doing. We didn't really notice when they were younger, but as our private school children (and their public school cousins) progress through high school, the gaps are clearly and sadly widening. Not just grades, but honor and advanced courses, the genuine rigor, and AP and SAT scores. When we're together for large family gatherings, our kids act far more mature and confident. They've become polished public speakers, they don't mumble and avoid eye contact when they speak to adults. Lately, I feel like I have to walk on eggshells when we're talking about how our kids are doing in school and their plans for the future. I don't even know if they can detect the stark differences, but I'm so worried they will, that I feel like I'm being evasive about things we used to freely discuss.

This is utter BS.

Privates are not better than public particularly in College Admissions and science. & math.

Move along you are an idiot and your family is just dumb nothing to do with publics.

All six of mine graduated from public I can honestly say you are an idiot. Were did they go from public 2 MIT, YALE, STANFORD, C MELLON, GEORGIA TECH, next up grad school all went some even went to medical school. From public and we are not alone.

I hope English isn't your first language. You are about as refined as a feral cat.

Oh, like the private school Turd Poster upthread? That sort of refined?