Twins and Birthday Party invites

[Anonymous]

Does this apply to playdates, too? My kid wants to have a playdate with the twin in his class, but he also knows the other twin because they were all in camp together. His fave is the one in his class but he'd be happy to have both... I'd probably rather deal with one kid.

[Anonymous]

We did a 1st grade bday party, I invited one twin but not the other (different class, different gender, no interaction). Neither came because I didn't invite both.

[Anonymous]

I had a venue party and invited both twins (both boys, my son knew both). There was another set of twins and I only invited one (different gender, my son didn't know her well at all, invited twin is a handful and I didn't want 2!). So it really depends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. I have twins and if only one is invited, only that one will go.

It can be tricky sometimes when the invitation comes to my email, with no children’s names on it, in which case I just clarify that the child in the class with the birthday kid will attend. Sometimes then the parent will reach out to say both are invited.

+1

Exact same. I have twins also.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter has a birthday party coming up. We did an all class invite. One of her classmates is a twin. Twin is in another class and was not invited.My daughter is not really close to either twin but wanted to invite the whole class. She knows of the twin and occasionally they interact at recess. Their parent RSVP’d that both girls would be attending. Is this reasonable?

The parent who responded probably did that out of habit. My friend with twins has done that sometimes and later realized she shouldn't have done that. Her twins are now high schoolers but the stories of her by-default RSVPs are from elementary school age.
If I were you, I wouldn't have felt it like a big deal to have 1 extra child attend my kid's birthday party uninvited especially since it's a big group of kids anyway.
If you think that the extra child is really an extra and a burden on your budget or food, you can message the parent and say that the party is meant for only the kids from your child's class.

[Anonymous]

No twin invite. Different class so no obligation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:7 and under probably include both twins.

I had 3 sets of twins in my kid’s class last year. 1 only brought the invited twin. 1 brought both twins. 1 didn’t rsvp and didn’t come. I also had parents bring siblings. I think 4-5 people brought a sibling. It was kind of annoying. Oh well.

I have twins and I don't understand the sibling thing at all! They're not the same age as the birthday kid so if they're not friends why on earth would you think they should come? I don't even think my uninvited twin should attend (which is fine!) so how can people think it's ok to bring siblings?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does this apply to playdates, too? My kid wants to have a playdate with the twin in his class, but he also knows the other twin because they were all in camp together. His fave is the one in his class but he'd be happy to have both... I'd probably rather deal with one kid.

I have twin girls and they don't always do playdates together, even if we're the ones doing the hosting. Sometimes they'll each have a friend and the four of them will play together, sometimes they pick the same friend and the three of them will play together, and sometimes one has someone over (or goes to someone else's house) and the other one does something else. They each have friends that don't really like the other twin so I wouldn't make those kids play with both of them!

[Anonymous]

Please include both at early elementary age!

[Anonymous]

Twin mom here...evites make it tricky to know who is invited. If there was any ambiguity, I would always clarify with the host to see who the invitation included and emphasize that there was no reason to include both by default.

But if you send an evite to a parent's email address, please understand that a twin parent has no idea who is included. It would be amazing for a host to followup with an email clarifying either "We'd love to have both Larla1 and Larla2 at our event!" or "I know evites can be confusing for twin families. We hope you understand that we have a limited capacity, but our Larla hopes your Larla1 can make it to her event!"

[Anonymous]

This happened to me. We had enough space for the twin to come but I didn't appreciate the mom calling me and putting me on the spot like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Twin mom here...evites make it tricky to know who is invited. If there was any ambiguity, I would always clarify with the host to see who the invitation included and emphasize that there was no reason to include both by default.

But if you send an evite to a parent's email address, please understand that a twin parent has no idea who is included. It would be amazing for a host to followup with an email clarifying either "We'd love to have both Larla1 and Larla2 at our event!" or "I know evites can be confusing for twin families. We hope you understand that we have a limited capacity, but our Larla hopes your Larla1 can make it to her event!"

This happened to me as a host using Evite. I put in mom's email address for one kid, but realized I couldn't add a second named guest with the same email.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. I have twins and if only one is invited, only that one will go.

It can be tricky sometimes when the invitation comes to my email, with no children’s names on it, in which case I just clarify that the child in the class with the birthday kid will attend. Sometimes then the parent will reach out to say both are invited.

I've shown up to parties with one kid, had parents ask about the other (who was sad at home) and feel bad about it later but if they send it without specifying both, I will only take the one that is closer to avoid asking and possibly making the host uncomfortable and including one they never meant to. It's just a couple years where this is touchy, after 2nd grade friend lines are very clear

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please include both at early elementary age!

Why? I have twin girls and they go to an all-girls school so they know all the girls in their grade. I never expected them both to be invited. The birthday kid should get to invite who they want to invite!

[Anonymous]

No, the Twin Parents are totally wrong. One kid wasn't invited - so only the twin IN YOUR DD'S CLASS should have rsvp'd to come.