Unwelcome gift from grandparents

[Anonymous]

Eat it yourself. A two year old has no clue.

[Anonymous]

“Thanks for the candy! Larla had a lot of fun handing it out to trick or treaters. You definitely turned our house into a top Halloween destination in the neighborhood!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Grandparents know we don’t give our 2 year old candy. They sent a huge box of expensive candy for Halloween with a note that said “To Larla, love grandparents”.

What should we do? With their other gifts, I usually send a photo of the kid with the gift but we have no intention of giving kid the giant box of candy. Just text thank you? Is it disingenuous to do so when we are really just going to chuck the box/donate? I am also annoyed they would give this and would almost just rather ignore the “gift” and make it clear we do not appreciate this.

"Thank you so much for the box of candy. The 'Trick or Treaters' loved it."

[Anonymous]

I used to get so worked up about this sort of issues with my MIL, who never respected our values and rules. Well, my kids are now college aged and at some point she stopped sending them gifts, and with maturity I can see at least in part that is my fault because I probably scared her off so much from gift giving since many of her gifts prompted me to remind her of our rules and why she was disregarding them. If I could do it over, I’d just smile, say thank you, snap a pic for her of grandkids and gifts, and find my own way of dealing with the gift that matched my own values (eg, donating the unecessary clothes, giving away the candy, etc). Life is too short to get so worked up about gifts.

[Anonymous]

I’d send a thank you txt and eat the candy myself if it looks good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I used to get so worked up about this sort of issues with my MIL, who never respected our values and rules. Well, my kids are now college aged and at some point she stopped sending them gifts, and with maturity I can see at least in part that is my fault because I probably scared her off so much from gift giving since many of her gifts prompted me to remind her of our rules and why she was disregarding them. If I could do it over, I’d just smile, say thank you, snap a pic for her of grandkids and gifts, and find my own way of dealing with the gift that matched my own values (eg, donating the unecessary clothes, giving away the candy, etc). Life is too short to get so worked up about gifts.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I used to get so worked up about this sort of issues with my MIL, who never respected our values and rules. Well, my kids are now college aged and at some point she stopped sending them gifts, and with maturity I can see at least in part that is my fault because I probably scared her off so much from gift giving since many of her gifts prompted me to remind her of our rules and why she was disregarding them. If I could do it over, I’d just smile, say thank you, snap a pic for her of grandkids and gifts, and find my own way of dealing with the gift that matched my own values (eg, donating the unecessary clothes, giving away the candy, etc). Life is too short to get so worked up about gifts.

Same.

[Anonymous]

Agree with PP. Honestly, let your kid have one piece of candy and then give the rest away. Take a picture for your MIL.

Totally get limiting sweets and candy for babies and toddlers but you have about another year you will be able to restrict candy, assuming your kid will go trick or treating next year. One piece won't hurt your kid and you can start teaching kid that candy is a treat instead of "forbidden fruit."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“Thanks for the candy! Larla had a lot of fun handing it out to trick or treaters. You definitely turned our house into a top Halloween destination in the neighborhood!

I am assuming the candy in the box is not individually wrapped and would never be handed out. I would just thank them and not say a word. If it comes up, I would joke that of course it was really a gift from Dad and I because Larlo is really not a candy eater at two. By three, he will probably be offered candy more often than you would like at preschool and birthday parties etc and he might have 1 or 2 from the box if they do it again.

[Anonymous]

These comments really surprised me! If this came in the mail I’m assuming they don’t live nearby so it’s not as if they are dropping in with gifts all the time. Just take a picture with the box, send the thank you, and maybe make a joke about the parent that is their child (I assuming this is their paternal grandparents) eating it all. And, I rarely say this, but unclench. It’s cute that the grands want to send her things and it will only cause bad blood to turn this into a “boundaries” discussion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I used to get so worked up about this sort of issues with my MIL, who never respected our values and rules. Well, my kids are now college aged and at some point she stopped sending them gifts, and with maturity I can see at least in part that is my fault because I probably scared her off so much from gift giving since many of her gifts prompted me to remind her of our rules and why she was disregarding them. If I could do it over, I’d just smile, say thank you, snap a pic for her of grandkids and gifts, and find my own way of dealing with the gift that matched my own values (eg, donating the unecessary clothes, giving away the candy, etc). Life is too short to get so worked up about gifts.

I love this perspective.

[Anonymous]

DCUM needs to unclench. If your biggest problem with your ILs is that they send your kid expensive candy, congratulations! Why does everything have to be a boundary setting exercise? Eat the candy, give away candy, who cares. You wouldn’t like anything they send anyway. This is what we do - say thanks and move on however we see fit. If asked whether kid liked it we say yes and move on: easy peats. And no drama. And no, I am not a pushover etc I just know what “boundaries” are worth it and actively prioritize a positive relationship.

[Anonymous]

Give your kid candy and stop being that horrible parent.

[Anonymous]

OMG. This is so stupid. People! Just write a quick thank you text and be done with it.
It's not worth the mental time you all give this kind of stupid stuff. it's like any other gift you don't like. Just say thank you and move on.

[Anonymous]

When you get a present you say thank you.