Unwelcome gift from grandparents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gift giving of this sort is fun for the giver. There is no need to drill down on whether Larla will eat the candy or not. A simple text: "Thank you for the Halloween gift, how fun!" is fine. Because it is fun! It's a holiday, it's celebratory. Use the gift however you see fit - regift it to a neighbor, eat a few pieces yourself and throw the rest away, throw away the whole thing, whatever.

Have we all forgotten the adage: it's the thought that counts? If a gift giver interrogates you on whether or how you used their gift, THEY are the rude one. But if someone gives you something you don't want, simply smile, thank them, and get rid of it later.

That applies if they are generally sweet grandparents. Then yes, you thank a sweet person for thinking of you. If they are manipulative in general, do not reinforce in any way. Just don't mention it and if they do, let them know calmly where it went and change subject.

[Anonymous]

I am sure they really intended it for the whole family. I would say Thanks and not think any more about it,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Relax. This is not worth getting upset about.

Right??
Are we the only ones that see that this isn't about the candy??

[Anonymous]

This thread died 10 days ago. No need to revive it. I think every view that exists has been shared and OP has moved on to planning Thanksgiving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I used to get so worked up about this sort of issues with my MIL, who never respected our values and rules. Well, my kids are now college aged and at some point she stopped sending them gifts, and with maturity I can see at least in part that is my fault because I probably scared her off so much from gift giving since many of her gifts prompted me to remind her of our rules and why she was disregarding them. If I could do it over, I’d just smile, say thank you, snap a pic for her of grandkids and gifts, and find my own way of dealing with the gift that matched my own values (eg, donating the unecessary clothes, giving away the candy, etc). Life is too short to get so worked up about gifts.

+1 my sister is in a constant battle with her in-laws over gifts for the kids. It creates a ton on tension on both sides and seems so unnecessary. Definitely state general rules about what gift-giving and then leave it at that. My mom always calls me around the holidays or bdays anxious and stressed about gifts for my niece and nephew because my sister is such a stickler. Relax everyone!