I feel like a huge loser who will never catch up

[Anonymous]

What helped me gain a sense of control was regular exercise. You have to carve out time, decide you are worth it, figure out how to adjust to the schedule, and then talk yourself into pushing your body. I always worked out 1-2 times per week but increased it, and then did quite well on 5ks-half marathons after about 2 years of regular exercise. Patience and preserverance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eat the elephant one bite at a time, OP. Once you've blown out the candles on the cake at your pity party, make a small change to your life and stick with it. I suggest incorporating something for yourself like measurable exercise.
Then, make another change. Nobody wakes up and decides that's the day they'll start a business / renovate a fixer upper.

This is good advice. It’s amazing how exercise and the feeling of vitality it brings can reset things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're further along than me. At least you aren't also single. Otherwise my life is completely dead end. I will work my dead end job until the day I drop dead. I can't change jobs or get more education. Being stuck sucks.

Being single means you have more freedom than OP. You can make changes to your life without thinking about anyone but yourself (unless you're a single parent or a caregiver to someone else). I'm single and my life is a bit stale. I'm moving to Costa Rica in a few months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're further along than me. At least you aren't also single. Otherwise my life is completely dead end. I will work my dead end job until the day I drop dead. I can't change jobs or get more education. Being stuck sucks.

Being single means you have more freedom than OP. You can make changes to your life without thinking about anyone but yourself (unless you're a single parent or a caregiver to someone else). I'm single and my life is a bit stale. I'm moving to Costa Rica in a few months.

Truth. I'm currently trapped in my current home and city because of my spouse's job, which isn't even high paying or meaningful to him (he hates it) but we can't leave because of benefits that he's too far into the job to give up. It's like a straight jacket. I'd have to get a job making 3x-4x my current salary somewhere else for us to justify leaving at this point, and that's not going to happen (I looked). So I just have to suck it up and stay until he can retire. It's miserable.

[Anonymous]

OP: That's why they invented the lottery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What helped me gain a sense of control was regular exercise. You have to carve out time, decide you are worth it, figure out how to adjust to the schedule, and then talk yourself into pushing your body. I always worked out 1-2 times per week but increased it, and then did quite well on 5ks-half marathons after about 2 years of regular exercise. Patience and preserverance.

Plus one

Even just walking everyday if can’t afford gym.

Good luck OP!

[Anonymous]

I’m a single mom and felt the exact same way until I got a better job that paid more, and allowed us a tremendously better quality of life. We are thriving now and couldn’t be happier.

I suggest focusing on specific things you can do now to get yourself a better job. In my case it was upskilling (taking some classes in a new field) and networking.

I told everyone I talked to every day that I was looking for a job, even the people at work. That got me a promotion internally (when the rest of my team got laid off), then literally a week later I got an even better job that doubled my annual salary.

Don’t just accept that how your life looks today is how it will always be. Force yourself to do something each day that changes your life, even if it’s just in small ways.

[Anonymous]

I guess I see it differently. You’re supporting your kid, putting a roof over her head, feeding and clothing her. You’re making responsible choices for her well-being. As PP said, you’ve had to overcome a lot to get to where you are, without a safety net. That’s quite admirable, from where I’m sitting.

Can you do anything to your apartment to refresh it? Add some twinkle lights, or a piece of artwork from a street fair that adds warmth and coziness?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When you have a child, you move forward. You are developing as a human being by being a parent. Pack a lunch and take your kid out to a free activity on a weekend. These years pass by quickly and you want to make memories outside your four walls.

It’s an illusion of forward movement based on stealing the hope and optima of the next generation. Plenty of people have kids who do no better than they did. It’s only moving forward if they succeed in bettering you in some way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a single mom and felt the exact same way until I got a better job that paid more, and allowed us a tremendously better quality of life. We are thriving now and couldn’t be happier.

I suggest focusing on specific things you can do now to get yourself a better job. In my case it was upskilling (taking some classes in a new field) and networking.

I told everyone I talked to every day that I was looking for a job, even the people at work. That got me a promotion internally (when the rest of my team got laid off), then literally a week later I got an even better job that doubled my annual salary.

Don’t just accept that how your life looks today is how it will always be. Force yourself to do something each day that changes your life, even if it’s just in small ways.

+1. Do everything you can to upskill. Getting a better job and making more money sounds like it could level you up and solve a lot of your problems or improve them. Money matters a lot and the less of it you have the more it matters.

[Anonymous]

OP, baby steps, take care of yourself first

Taking 400 mg of magnesium glycinate at 8:00 pm really helps me with sleep. Make sure to get the glycinate version so you don't get loose stool.

Take some daily walks with your daughter outside. The movement and sunshine really helps me with sleep and reduces stress.

Buy a bag of apples. They are cheap this time of year. Avoid red delicious and avoid golden delicious that taste like mush. Slice them. Enjoy the flavor and crunch. Eat an apple a day.

Can you meet some of your neighbors so that if you have a doctors appointment you have someone who can watch your daughter a couple of hours a day?

One of my therapists had me write a list of positive affirmations. He told me to read them to myself when I am down. I have about 100 things inspirational quotes from different people written down and will read them to myself when I'm going through tough times.

Understand many of the folks in the fancy big houses have giant amounts of stress and live paycheck to paycheck. They are strung out on large house loans and large car loans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a single mom and felt the exact same way until I got a better job that paid more, and allowed us a tremendously better quality of life. We are thriving now and couldn’t be happier.

I suggest focusing on specific things you can do now to get yourself a better job. In my case it was upskilling (taking some classes in a new field) and networking.

I told everyone I talked to every day that I was looking for a job, even the people at work. That got me a promotion internally (when the rest of my team got laid off), then literally a week later I got an even better job that doubled my annual salary.

Don’t just accept that how your life looks today is how it will always be. Force yourself to do something each day that changes your life, even if it’s just in small ways.

This is very inspiring. Thank you!

[Anonymous]

This will sound so simplistic, but making a list of things you want to accomplish really does help “move things along”. Just writing down a plan can be very motivating. Start small. Like “I will walk 5 minutes every day.” Or “I will eat one piece of fruit a day.” The more you succeed, the more motivated you will become. And then you can move on to bigger and better things.

[Anonymous]

How old are you?

[Anonymous]

Life is hard. A coyote and a worm would be happy to eat you.
You are winning.