Men messaging exgirlfriend things like "it should have been you" when their wife gives birth

[Anonymous]

it’s easy to think the grass is always greener, someone else is always at fault. But usually you are actually your own worst enemy, and you would fail with the exes too. It takes a lot of maturity to look inward and fix your own issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:His wife was beautiful and accomplished. They went on to have two kids. I wasn't interested and never gave him that one night. It was disappointing that he he would do that. He went to kiss his wife's sister. His wife never found out, so he says. They inevitably divorced. We reconnected years later and he said that he had to lie to his wife frequently to keep the marriage. He just didn't marry someone with whom he could be honest.

Many men do this when marrying a woman who checks boxes.

The sad truth that many dont want to acknowledge is many men are very "logically minded" and they often marry the women that they feel will benefit them the most or give them an advantage. So the woman with a big law career and prominent family, if they're trying to rise up the ranks of their company/industry. Or the SAHM who will do all the chores and take care of kids without complaint. Or just the girl who is really thrilled to be with them and will give them sex everyday and help pay the bills and do most of the childcare because she's a go-getter. The choices men make often don't align with their emotions or deep "love", and align more with logical choices about what will benefit them and make their life easy.

Yep, I know several men who in their 20s quickly married women who were ready to give them the life they wanted when they thought it was time to settle down. In many cases, they married women whose Parents helped them buy houses near them and they had kids within a couple years of marrying. A lot of these men are now in midlife crisis mode.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:His wife was beautiful and accomplished. They went on to have two kids. I wasn't interested and never gave him that one night. It was disappointing that he he would do that. He went to kiss his wife's sister. His wife never found out, so he says. They inevitably divorced. We reconnected years later and he said that he had to lie to his wife frequently to keep the marriage. He just didn't marry someone with whom he could be honest.

Many men do this when marrying a woman who checks boxes.

The sad truth that many dont want to acknowledge is many men are very "logically minded" and they often marry the women that they feel will benefit them the most or give them an advantage. So the woman with a big law career and prominent family, if they're trying to rise up the ranks of their company/industry. Or the SAHM who will do all the chores and take care of kids without complaint. Or just the girl who is really thrilled to be with them and will give them sex everyday and help pay the bills and do most of the childcare because she's a go-getter. The choices men make often don't align with their emotions or deep "love", and align more with logical choices about what will benefit them and make their life easy.

Yep, I know several men who in their 20s quickly married women who were ready to give them the life they wanted when they thought it was time to settle down. In many cases, they married women whose Parents helped them buy houses near them and they had kids within a couple years of marrying. A lot of these men are now in midlife crisis mode.

This scenario literally just happened (or almost did) on Love is Blind. The guy with no credit, no health insurance, severe debt and a very sketchy "job", going after two very high earning women (just a coincidence I'm sure) and being devastated when the one he picked ultimately left him at the altar. His eyes were big as saucers when she showed him around her house the first time, and he was trying to convince her to buy him a huge TV to fit the living room. And then got upset when she though men should pay for dates. A lot, lot, lot of men are a lot more financially savvy about dating than women give them credit for. And I've noticed many of the girls who grew up with family money do seem to marry early to men who don't seem that into them. Wealth is a huge point of attraction for many, men included.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:His wife was beautiful and accomplished. They went on to have two kids. I wasn't interested and never gave him that one night. It was disappointing that he he would do that. He went to kiss his wife's sister. His wife never found out, so he says. They inevitably divorced. We reconnected years later and he said that he had to lie to his wife frequently to keep the marriage. He just didn't marry someone with whom he could be honest.

Many men do this when marrying a woman who checks boxes.

The sad truth that many dont want to acknowledge is many men are very "logically minded" and they often marry the women that they feel will benefit them the most or give them an advantage. So the woman with a big law career and prominent family, if they're trying to rise up the ranks of their company/industry. Or the SAHM who will do all the chores and take care of kids without complaint. Or just the girl who is really thrilled to be with them and will give them sex everyday and help pay the bills and do most of the childcare because she's a go-getter. The choices men make often don't align with their emotions or deep "love", and align more with logical choices about what will benefit them and make their life easy.

Yep, I know several men who in their 20s quickly married women who were ready to give them the life they wanted when they thought it was time to settle down. In many cases, they married women whose Parents helped them buy houses near them and they had kids within a couple years of marrying. A lot of these men are now in midlife crisis mode.

This scenario literally just happened (or almost did) on Love is Blind. The guy with no credit, no health insurance, severe debt and a very sketchy "job", going after two very high earning women (just a coincidence I'm sure) and being devastated when the one he picked ultimately left him at the altar. His eyes were big as saucers when she showed him around her house the first time, and he was trying to convince her to buy him a huge TV to fit the living room. And then got upset when she though men should pay for dates. A lot, lot, lot of men are a lot more financially savvy about dating than women give them credit for. And I've noticed many of the girls who grew up with family money do seem to marry early to men who don't seem that into them. Wealth is a huge point of attraction for many, men included.

It’s no different from the women with no real earning ability who pull a sweet guy who is a good provider with a professional job in their 20s, have kids quickly and become SAHMs, but are secretly wishing they married the bad boy.

[Anonymous]

A lot of people are with people they settled for, not people they really love. Tale as old as time.

[Anonymous]

Damn if I put myself at risk for birthing some lout's baby and saw that text, we'd be done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Damn if I put myself at risk for birthing some lout's baby and saw that text, we'd be done.

agree

low intelligent people i'd assume, sorry to be assuming...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I think less of you, OP, for having that sort of feed. Water finds its own level.

This is the most boomer comment and misunderstanding of how tiktok works I've ever seen...

You need to get out more

I hope this is directed at the idiot who doesn't know how a TikTok feed works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men are trash.

That is all.

Exactly, can’t trust or believe anything they say or do.

[Anonymous]

This happened to me. Twice.

[Anonymous]

I kind of feel like people are giving too much credit to “love”. It seems like in some of these instances it would be an immature man’s reaction to panic at the thought of being “locked in” to a family. Maybe they really are deeply in love with some ex but there have got to be a good amount that are simply terrified by commitment and trying to feel relevant and wanted but would be doing the same if they had had kids with the other woman.

[Anonymous]

The sexist BS on this thread is off the charts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of people are with people they settled for, not people they really love. Tale as old as time.

Because their idea of "love" is a selfish childish lust.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:On Tiktok there is a lot of discussion about men who do this. Men who are messaging their exgirlfriends saying things like they named their daughter after them, they wish it was them, "I was it was you", etc.

It just seems awful to the wife who the guy doesnt really love. Why are people marrying people they don't really love? Is it just about convenience?

Have you confused TikTok with depicting reality?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Do you understand this is not representative of most men? That this isn't actually a thing, no matter how much TikTok says it is? Do you believe EVERYTHING you see online, or just the conspiracy theories and bad behaviors?

It's astounding the level of stupidity on this thread. If you want to look for the worst flaws in the opposite sex, you're going to find them, and you're going to get worked up. Why would you do that to yourself, when most people are decent humans?

This is DCUM, where bitter people come to wallow in stereotypes to hide from their own failings.

Well-adjusted people aren't spending Sunday morning whipping themselves into a frenzy over strangers that another stranger watched yet another stranger talk about on TikTok.