Men messaging exgirlfriend things like "it should have been you" when their wife gives birth

[Anonymous]

On Tiktok there is a lot of discussion about men who do this. Men who are messaging their exgirlfriends saying things like they named their daughter after them, they wish it was them, "I was it was you", etc.

It just seems awful to the wife who the guy doesnt really love. Why are people marrying people they don't really love? Is it just about convenience?

[Anonymous]

Humans are wired to be dissatisfied and always searching for the thing that got away or the next best thing.

My aunt married a man who wanted to name their daughter after a beautiful woman he wanted to marry... this is in the old country where men used to propose marriage without really knowing a person that well.

So I believe it!

[Anonymous]

These men are trash. Neither fit to be husbands nor fathers.

[Anonymous]

I think less of you, OP, for having that sort of feed. Water finds its own level.

[Anonymous]

Lots of men marry the woman that makes it "easy", not the woman they really loved. Breakups breed bad blood on both sides- it's humiliating to contact an ex and say that you can't stop thinking about. It's a massive risk of rejection, especially to someone who's already hurt you.

So most people will have a breakup with someone they really did love and plow forward into a new relationship. Sometimes it's exclusively for the purpose of rubbing it in the face of their ex, sometimes theyre genuinely trying to move on.

Either way, many people have a person in the back of their mind, that they think of frequently and would be with in a split second if they could do their life differently. But life has a funny way of working out and many people get swept into jobs, friendships, relationships without even consciously thinking about it, until some major event happens that drives in the reality of what they've done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I think less of you, OP, for having that sort of feed. Water finds its own level.

This is the most boomer comment and misunderstanding of how tiktok works I've ever seen...

[Anonymous]

Why is an adult on Tiktok?

[Anonymous]

My ex from a little over 20 years ago still texts me that I was the one who got away, usually on my birthday. He's married with two daughters now, the oldest child is 13. When I was in a play about 6 years ago he flew here for the day just to see a matinee. I think it's weird. I do not feel he was the one that got away, lol -- very glad I didn't end up with him (nothing horrible or anything, just not compatible at all and my DH is the best).

[Anonymous]

His wife was beautiful and accomplished. They went on to have two kids. I wasn't interested and never gave him that one night. It was disappointing that he he would do that. He went to kiss his wife's sister. His wife never found out, so he says. They inevitably divorced. We reconnected years later and he said that he had to lie to his wife frequently to keep the marriage. He just didn't marry someone with whom he could be honest.

Many men do this when marrying a woman who checks boxes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is an adult on Tiktok?

Not everyone is 65+, Janet...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:His wife was beautiful and accomplished. They went on to have two kids. I wasn't interested and never gave him that one night. It was disappointing that he he would do that. He went to kiss his wife's sister. His wife never found out, so he says. They inevitably divorced. We reconnected years later and he said that he had to lie to his wife frequently to keep the marriage. He just didn't marry someone with whom he could be honest.

Many men do this when marrying a woman who checks boxes.

The sad truth that many dont want to acknowledge is many men are very "logically minded" and they often marry the women that they feel will benefit them the most or give them an advantage. So the woman with a big law career and prominent family, if they're trying to rise up the ranks of their company/industry. Or the SAHM who will do all the chores and take care of kids without complaint. Or just the girl who is really thrilled to be with them and will give them sex everyday and help pay the bills and do most of the childcare because she's a go-getter. The choices men make often don't align with their emotions or deep "love", and align more with logical choices about what will benefit them and make their life easy.

[Anonymous]

I don't think men think this any more than women do but men act on it more because they are children.

[Anonymous]

Do you understand this is not representative of most men? That this isn't actually a thing, no matter how much TikTok says it is? Do you believe EVERYTHING you see online, or just the conspiracy theories and bad behaviors?

It's astounding the level of stupidity on this thread. If you want to look for the worst flaws in the opposite sex, you're going to find them, and you're going to get worked up. Why would you do that to yourself, when most people are decent humans?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Do you understand this is not representative of most men? That this isn't actually a thing, no matter how much TikTok says it is? Do you believe EVERYTHING you see online, or just the conspiracy theories and bad behaviors?

It's astounding the level of stupidity on this thread. If you want to look for the worst flaws in the opposite sex, you're going to find them, and you're going to get worked up. Why would you do that to yourself, when most people are decent humans?

Do you understand that it happens at a level that many women would be uncomfortable with or concerned about? Do you lose your mind when someone makes a thread about adultery because "NoT eVeRyOnE cHeAtS"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I think less of you, OP, for having that sort of feed. Water finds its own level.

This is the most boomer comment and misunderstanding of how tiktok works I've ever seen...

You need to get out more