Drastic change in rigor/prestige/whatever from high school to college

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is going to sound horrible, but I only have the best of intentions for asking, so here we go: if your child ended up at a school that was not proportionate to their ability and/or academic history, did anyone care or comment on it, especially their classmates?

If I understand your post, your child's abilities and academic experience are superior to his or her college destination ?

Comments from classmates & family friends might be unpleasant, but should not be of any concern as this is a temporary topic.

A reasonable comment from a close friend might be to ask why your child selected this particular school.

We obviously don't know for sure yet, but his safety frontrunner isn't well thought of. He could do "better", but he's choosing it for a specific reason, which we're ok with...just wondering if others will make comments. To be prepared.

(I am the poster to whom you responded. Thank you.)

My guess is that your son/daughter attends a rigorous elite private school and is considering a generous scholarship offer to a Southern flagship such as the University of Alabama or Ole Miss. Wants to enjoy his/her college experience.

If correct, attending a Southern flagship Honors College is nothing to be shy about--especially if planning to attend law school or some other type of expensive graduate program.

If your concern is to be prepared about how to handle inappropriate or derogatory comments about your child's school selection, then either state the reason behind the choice or dismiss the negative comment with a short, polite comment such as he/she wants to enjoy his or her college years.

Are you comfortable sharing why your overqualified student wants to attend this school ?

Not Op but rolling my eyes at your guess. Suggesting the honors college and scholarship would make it acceptable kind of proves OP’s original point. People like you judge.
OP, you don’t need an honors college or scholarship to justify a lesser school. Lots of kids from the top schools around here are burnt out. Or have a specific internet. Or like a specific part of the country. DC’s classmates had all sorts of reasons for picking the school they wanted, even if others could IMAGINE turning down UVA. Was common enough that people classmates weren’t assuming they got shut out everywhere except their safety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is going to sound horrible, but I only have the best of intentions for asking, so here we go: if your child ended up at a school that was not proportionate to their ability and/or academic history, did anyone care or comment on it, especially their classmates?

If I understand your post, your child's abilities and academic experience are superior to his or her college destination ?

Comments from classmates & family friends might be unpleasant, but should not be of any concern as this is a temporary topic.

A reasonable comment from a close friend might be to ask why your child selected this particular school.

We obviously don't know for sure yet, but his safety frontrunner isn't well thought of. He could do "better", but he's choosing it for a specific reason, which we're ok with...just wondering if others will make comments. To be prepared.

(I am the poster to whom you responded. Thank you.)

My guess is that your son/daughter attends a rigorous elite private school and is considering a generous scholarship offer to a Southern flagship such as the University of Alabama or Ole Miss. Wants to enjoy his/her college experience.

If correct, attending a Southern flagship Honors College is nothing to be shy about--especially if planning to attend law school or some other type of expensive graduate program.

If your concern is to be prepared about how to handle inappropriate or derogatory comments about your child's school selection, then either state the reason behind the choice or dismiss the negative comment with a short, polite comment such as he/she wants to enjoy his or her college years.

Are you comfortable sharing why your overqualified student wants to attend this school ?

Private school senior, 1500+ SAT, top 3 in class so far, hoping for a Naval Academy slot but is looking forward to ODU as where they'll probably end up. Yes, we've considered schools with selectivity in between, but NROTC availability plus being on the coast is a draw we can't really find elsewhere. The decisions makes sense to us, but it's hard to explain why we're not considering more elite flagship.

oh good luck to him! I would think (hope) that he'll get in to the Academy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is going to sound horrible, but I only have the best of intentions for asking, so here we go: if your child ended up at a school that was not proportionate to their ability and/or academic history, did anyone care or comment on it, especially their classmates?

If I understand your post, your child's abilities and academic experience are superior to his or her college destination ?

Comments from classmates & family friends might be unpleasant, but should not be of any concern as this is a temporary topic.

A reasonable comment from a close friend might be to ask why your child selected this particular school.

We obviously don't know for sure yet, but his safety frontrunner isn't well thought of. He could do "better", but he's choosing it for a specific reason, which we're ok with...just wondering if others will make comments. To be prepared.

(I am the poster to whom you responded. Thank you.)

My guess is that your son/daughter attends a rigorous elite private school and is considering a generous scholarship offer to a Southern flagship such as the University of Alabama or Ole Miss. Wants to enjoy his/her college experience.

If correct, attending a Southern flagship Honors College is nothing to be shy about--especially if planning to attend law school or some other type of expensive graduate program.

If your concern is to be prepared about how to handle inappropriate or derogatory comments about your child's school selection, then either state the reason behind the choice or dismiss the negative comment with a short, polite comment such as he/she wants to enjoy his or her college years.

Are you comfortable sharing why your overqualified student wants to attend this school ?

Not Op but rolling my eyes at your guess. Suggesting the honors college and scholarship would make it acceptable kind of proves OP’s original point. People like you judge.
OP, you don’t need an honors college or scholarship to justify a lesser school. Lots of kids from the top schools around here are burnt out. Or have a specific internet. Or like a specific part of the country. DC’s classmates had all sorts of reasons for picking the school they wanted, even if others could IMAGINE turning down UVA. Was common enough that people classmates weren’t assuming they got shut out everywhere except their safety.

Seriously, this. This kind of assumption is just that.

[Anonymous]

We have friends whose DS turned down 2 top 10 universities to attend one not in the top 100 (for various reasons). He graduated in 4 years with both a bachelor's and a master's in chemical engineering and had a research job with a top firm lined up well before graduation.

I don't know what his classmates said to him when he made the choice, but I thought this might be a story you could use on anyone who thinks they know better than you and your kid what they need.

[Anonymous]

OP why do you care if anyone comments? Caring about uninformed comments should be way down on your list of concerns.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP why do you care if anyone comments? Caring about uninformed comments should be way down on your list of concerns.

I want to be prepared.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My athlete son got into a school people thought was above his ability and they made comments.

OTOH, my other son went to an SEC school and the parents I met at my "athlete" son's school were super snobby about the SEC school choice, though they tried really hard to act like they were not.

Also, my son did not go to Tennessee and it was on his list and people acted like I had lost my mind.

I can see if classmates don't bat an eye at your son going to a less prestigious college than their high school but I think most of the comments will come from parents/other adults. I mean, spend any time on these boards and you will see those comments!

That's a really good point. Some of his friends were jealous that we were like, hey you like that school and the program they offer go for it, when he clearly had "better" offers. He never once had a friend bat an eye at his choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is going to sound horrible, but I only have the best of intentions for asking, so here we go: if your child ended up at a school that was not proportionate to their ability and/or academic history, did anyone care or comment on it, especially their classmates?

If I understand your post, your child's abilities and academic experience are superior to his or her college destination ?

Comments from classmates & family friends might be unpleasant, but should not be of any concern as this is a temporary topic.

A reasonable comment from a close friend might be to ask why your child selected this particular school.

We obviously don't know for sure yet, but his safety frontrunner isn't well thought of. He could do "better", but he's choosing it for a specific reason, which we're ok with...just wondering if others will make comments. To be prepared.

(I am the poster to whom you responded. Thank you.)

My guess is that your son/daughter attends a rigorous elite private school and is considering a generous scholarship offer to a Southern flagship such as the University of Alabama or Ole Miss. Wants to enjoy his/her college experience.

If correct, attending a Southern flagship Honors College is nothing to be shy about--especially if planning to attend law school or some other type of expensive graduate program.

If your concern is to be prepared about how to handle inappropriate or derogatory comments about your child's school selection, then either state the reason behind the choice or dismiss the negative comment with a short, polite comment such as he/she wants to enjoy his or her college years.

Are you comfortable sharing why your overqualified student wants to attend this school ?

Private school senior, 1500+ SAT, top 3 in class so far, hoping for a Naval Academy slot but is looking forward to ODU as where they'll probably end up. Yes, we've considered schools with selectivity in between, but NROTC availability plus being on the coast is a draw we can't really find elsewhere. The decisions makes sense to us, but it's hard to explain why we're not considering more elite flagship.

You do you OP. That is a little bit of an unusual choice but you seem to have some very specific parameters so if you and your child have considered the options and concluded this makes sense it’s not really anyone else’s business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is going to sound horrible, but I only have the best of intentions for asking, so here we go: if your child ended up at a school that was not proportionate to their ability and/or academic history, did anyone care or comment on it, especially their classmates?

Here's the thing. If your kid's classmates make comments, so what, this "pain" will go away when everyone goes off to college and move on to new friend groups.

You will have more trouble if and when your friends make comments.

Remember that plenty of kids go to "high prestige" schools then later transfer to Big State Schools for various reasons. Any kid who makes comments to your kid might end up in that boat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You mean like Sidwell to say Temple (totally random choice of a example)?

no, I don't think classmates comment on this. they are generally very supportive and excited for everyone. Probably grandparents and aunts may, depending on their own college roots. (I.e. those who don't know anything about the current college landscape).

It may be random, but oddly enough 2 Sidwell kids in the 2023 class did indicate they were going to attend Temple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP why do you care if anyone comments? Caring about uninformed comments should be way down on your list of concerns.

I want to be prepared.

Classmates will be totally supportive of wherever someone chooses to go to college. The college application process - as nutty and unpredictable as its been for the past couple of years - has been a shared experience for these kids. Everyone is empathetic. And students understand that different people want to go to different schools for different reasons.

The parents on the other hand - particularly low information parents - might be a little snooty. But that's more a reflection of being out of touch.

Also, I think there was a comment about southern SEC schools. Those are incredibly popular among the 1 percenters. It's not just a bunch of hicks going to Alabama and Ole Miss. Biff and Buffy are there too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You mean like Sidwell to say Temple (totally random choice of a example)?

no, I don't think classmates comment on this. they are generally very supportive and excited for everyone. Probably grandparents and aunts may, depending on their own college roots. (I.e. those who don't know anything about the current college landscape).

It may be random, but oddly enough 2 Sidwell kids in the 2023 class did indicate they were going to attend Temple.

huh. My choice of example schools was completely random.
I don't have a kid at Sidwell and don't know anything about their 2023 class; I'm sure i could have struck on a real-life combo regardless of which 2 schools I chose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is going to sound horrible, but I only have the best of intentions for asking, so here we go: if your child ended up at a school that was not proportionate to their ability and/or academic history, did anyone care or comment on it, especially their classmates?

If I understand your post, your child's abilities and academic experience are superior to his or her college destination ?

Comments from classmates & family friends might be unpleasant, but should not be of any concern as this is a temporary topic.

A reasonable comment from a close friend might be to ask why your child selected this particular school.

We obviously don't know for sure yet, but his safety frontrunner isn't well thought of. He could do "better", but he's choosing it for a specific reason, which we're ok with...just wondering if others will make comments. To be prepared.

(I am the poster to whom you responded. Thank you.)

My guess is that your son/daughter attends a rigorous elite private school and is considering a generous scholarship offer to a Southern flagship such as the University of Alabama or Ole Miss. Wants to enjoy his/her college experience.

If correct, attending a Southern flagship Honors College is nothing to be shy about--especially if planning to attend law school or some other type of expensive graduate program.

If your concern is to be prepared about how to handle inappropriate or derogatory comments about your child's school selection, then either state the reason behind the choice or dismiss the negative comment with a short, polite comment such as he/she wants to enjoy his or her college years.

Are you comfortable sharing why your overqualified student wants to attend this school ?

Private school senior, 1500+ SAT, top 3 in class so far, hoping for a Naval Academy slot but is looking forward to ODU as where they'll probably end up. Yes, we've considered schools with selectivity in between, but NROTC availability plus being on the coast is a draw we can't really find elsewhere. The decisions makes sense to us, but it's hard to explain why we're not considering more elite flagship.

Any curious comments received should be understood for the obvious reasons. Just respond that your son wanted NROTC at a school on the coast and the choices are very limited. (University of Washington in Seattle might be of interest.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You mean like Sidwell to say Temple (totally random choice of a example)?

no, I don't think classmates comment on this. they are generally very supportive and excited for everyone. Probably grandparents and aunts may, depending on their own college roots. (I.e. those who don't know anything about the current college landscape).

It may be random, but oddly enough 2 Sidwell kids in the 2023 class did indicate they were going to attend Temple.

huh. My choice of example schools was completely random.
I don't have a kid at Sidwell and don't know anything about their 2023 class; I'm sure i could have struck on a real-life combo regardless of which 2 schools I chose.

Are they sports kids? Only athletes know where they are going now.

[Anonymous]

I am a bit surprised as your son's academic/intellectual abilities are outstanding and ODU is full of less motivated and less talented students.

Too bad College of Charleston doesn't offer NROTC.