Drastic change in rigor/prestige/whatever from high school to college

[Anonymous]

This is going to sound horrible, but I only have the best of intentions for asking, so here we go: if your child ended up at a school that was not proportionate to their ability and/or academic history, did anyone care or comment on it, especially their classmates?

[Anonymous]

Nope, next question.

[Anonymous]

You mean like Sidwell to say Temple (totally random choice of a example)?

no, I don't think classmates comment on this. they are generally very supportive and excited for everyone. Probably grandparents and aunts may, depending on their own college roots. (I.e. those who don't know anything about the current college landscape).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You mean like Sidwell to say Temple (totally random choice of a example)?

no, I don't think classmates comment on this. they are generally very supportive and excited for everyone. Probably grandparents and aunts may, depending on their own college roots. (I.e. those who don't know anything about the current college landscape).

Yes, like that. And good to know.

[Anonymous]

My athlete son got into a school people thought was above his ability and they made comments.

OTOH, my other son went to an SEC school and the parents I met at my "athlete" son's school were super snobby about the SEC school choice, though they tried really hard to act like they were not.

Also, my son did not go to Tennessee and it was on his list and people acted like I had lost my mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is going to sound horrible, but I only have the best of intentions for asking, so here we go: if your child ended up at a school that was not proportionate to their ability and/or academic history, did anyone care or comment on it, especially their classmates?

Even prestigious schools have students who get Cs and Bs and without hooks go one to less prestigious colleges or for financial or personal reasons go on to less prestigious institutions. Some kids really get shut out and that’s surprising but the vast majority of kids who have this happen know it’s coming - as do peers. Usually the comments are reserved for kids who get into schools that seem out of reach (“wow jack! didn’t realize you were so smart!).

[Anonymous]

not to our face, but my own kid went from high prestige to low (for a specific reason, turned out to be a dumb reason) and he was shocked at how little work the kids did, didn't do the reading before class so no discussion etc.

I have another kid who went from high prestige to high prestige and while they thought college was easier than high school, the kids took classes seriously enough and came prepared to class.

I think it's pretty foolish to think that all schools have a lot to offer. There are some schools that are better than others, academically.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is going to sound horrible, but I only have the best of intentions for asking, so here we go: if your child ended up at a school that was not proportionate to their ability and/or academic history, did anyone care or comment on it, especially their classmates?

If I understand your post, your child's abilities and academic experience are superior to his or her college destination ?

Comments from classmates & family friends might be unpleasant, but should not be of any concern as this is a temporary topic.

A reasonable comment from a close friend might be to ask why your child selected this particular school.

[Anonymous]

This is normal. It’s easier to get into high school, then harder to get into college, and then harder to get into grad school next. It’s not at all uncommon for somebody from a prestigious undergrad to go to a less prestigious medical school, for example.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is going to sound horrible, but I only have the best of intentions for asking, so here we go: if your child ended up at a school that was not proportionate to their ability and/or academic history, did anyone care or comment on it, especially their classmates?

If I understand your post, your child's abilities and academic experience are superior to his or her college destination ?

Comments from classmates & family friends might be unpleasant, but should not be of any concern as this is a temporary topic.

A reasonable comment from a close friend might be to ask why your child selected this particular school.

We obviously don't know for sure yet, but his safety frontrunner isn't well thought of. He could do "better", but he's choosing it for a specific reason, which we're ok with...just wondering if others will make comments. To be prepared.

[Anonymous]

The best school in his area of interest isn't even the USNWR Top 100

[Anonymous]

People at Harvard used to ask me all the time “what are you doing here” and “why aren’t you wearing any clothes” and “what are you eating?”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is going to sound horrible, but I only have the best of intentions for asking, so here we go: if your child ended up at a school that was not proportionate to their ability and/or academic history, did anyone care or comment on it, especially their classmates?

If I understand your post, your child's abilities and academic experience are superior to his or her college destination ?

Comments from classmates & family friends might be unpleasant, but should not be of any concern as this is a temporary topic.

A reasonable comment from a close friend might be to ask why your child selected this particular school.

We obviously don't know for sure yet, but his safety frontrunner isn't well thought of. He could do "better", but he's choosing it for a specific reason, which we're ok with...just wondering if others will make comments. To be prepared.

(I am the poster to whom you responded. Thank you.)

My guess is that your son/daughter attends a rigorous elite private school and is considering a generous scholarship offer to a Southern flagship such as the University of Alabama or Ole Miss. Wants to enjoy his/her college experience.

If correct, attending a Southern flagship Honors College is nothing to be shy about--especially if planning to attend law school or some other type of expensive graduate program.

If your concern is to be prepared about how to handle inappropriate or derogatory comments about your child's school selection, then either state the reason behind the choice or dismiss the negative comment with a short, polite comment such as he/she wants to enjoy his or her college years.

Are you comfortable sharing why your overqualified student wants to attend this school ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My athlete son got into a school people thought was above his ability and they made comments.

OTOH, my other son went to an SEC school and the parents I met at my "athlete" son's school were super snobby about the SEC school choice, though they tried really hard to act like they were not.

Also, my son did not go to Tennessee and it was on his list and people acted like I had lost my mind.

I can see if classmates don't bat an eye at your son going to a less prestigious college than their high school but I think most of the comments will come from parents/other adults. I mean, spend any time on these boards and you will see those comments!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is going to sound horrible, but I only have the best of intentions for asking, so here we go: if your child ended up at a school that was not proportionate to their ability and/or academic history, did anyone care or comment on it, especially their classmates?

If I understand your post, your child's abilities and academic experience are superior to his or her college destination ?

Comments from classmates & family friends might be unpleasant, but should not be of any concern as this is a temporary topic.

A reasonable comment from a close friend might be to ask why your child selected this particular school.

We obviously don't know for sure yet, but his safety frontrunner isn't well thought of. He could do "better", but he's choosing it for a specific reason, which we're ok with...just wondering if others will make comments. To be prepared.

(I am the poster to whom you responded. Thank you.)

My guess is that your son/daughter attends a rigorous elite private school and is considering a generous scholarship offer to a Southern flagship such as the University of Alabama or Ole Miss. Wants to enjoy his/her college experience.

If correct, attending a Southern flagship Honors College is nothing to be shy about--especially if planning to attend law school or some other type of expensive graduate program.

If your concern is to be prepared about how to handle inappropriate or derogatory comments about your child's school selection, then either state the reason behind the choice or dismiss the negative comment with a short, polite comment such as he/she wants to enjoy his or her college years.

Are you comfortable sharing why your overqualified student wants to attend this school ?

Private school senior, 1500+ SAT, top 3 in class so far, hoping for a Naval Academy slot but is looking forward to ODU as where they'll probably end up. Yes, we've considered schools with selectivity in between, but NROTC availability plus being on the coast is a draw we can't really find elsewhere. The decisions makes sense to us, but it's hard to explain why we're not considering more elite flagship.