When people say ‘we are not ok’ in response to news events

[Anonymous]

It's a little like complaining about people asking how you are when they don't sincerely want to listen to you talk for ten b minutes.


There's something to be said for social niceties. We need more, not less

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see similar behavior on Palestinian side as well. Just because its not your loved ones, it doesn't mean you can't feel the pain. You feel it more when people suffering are your own race, religion, nationality, age, gender etc but you can feel it for people on the other side of the conflict or just for random people's suffering. All humans want and deserve protection and prosperity for their families. We shouldn't have to be scared of each other.

There is one good thing about us humans, we can feel pain of other humans. Suffering and fear of it is bad and each one of us knows that, don't have to personally get shot or develop cancer to know what it entails.

May we feel enough to end all injustices we can and find solutions to all disputes we can. If you kill one man, its like you've killed all humanity. Live, let live. Share, bare and care. Life is precious, don't waste it to subdue others, use it to lift others up.

These are the kind of banal phrases the OP is referencing.

That's the problem because these banal basics ARE what we need.

Okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This really bothers me and I see it happen so much when events befall a group or race and then other members of the group say ‘we are not ok’.
I’m a Jew and events of the last few days are awful. But I, personally, am ok. I haven’t lost family and I’m not kidnapped and I haven’t lost my home.
It just feels like trying to jump on a bandwagon and make it all about yourself.

I guess it just feels nice to be part of of whatever thing is getting attention, sadly people see little difference in joining bandwagon of Taylor Swift and Barbie vs claiming victimhood of war and apartheid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see similar behavior on Palestinian side as well. Just because its not your loved ones, it doesn't mean you can't feel the pain. You feel it more when people suffering are your own race, religion, nationality, age, gender etc but you can feel it for people on the other side of the conflict or just for random people's suffering. All humans want and deserve protection and prosperity for their families. We shouldn't have to be scared of each other.

There is one good thing about us humans, we can feel pain of other humans. Suffering and fear of it is bad and each one of us knows that, don't have to personally get shot or develop cancer to know what it entails.

May we feel enough to end all injustices we can and find solutions to all disputes we can. If you kill one man, its like you've killed all humanity. Live, let live. Share, bare and care. Life is precious, don't waste it to subdue others, use it to lift others up.

These are the kind of banal phrases the OP is referencing.

That's the problem because these banal basics ARE what we need.

Okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This really bothers me and I see it happen so much when events befall a group or race and then other members of the group say ‘we are not ok’.
I’m a Jew and events of the last few days are awful. But I, personally, am ok. I haven’t lost family and I’m not kidnapped and I haven’t lost my home.
It just feels like trying to jump on a bandwagon and make it all about yourself.

Most of my Jewish friends saying this do have relatives in Israel.

This, or friends and others they are close to. They are also worried about broader antisemitism, increased risk of attacks elsewhere etc.

Also, look up "circles of grieving" - it is fine to say this and lean on others who are less affected.

A lot of us feel like this about current events. Like nothing in my life changed when Trump was elected but I was "not okay."

It's myopic to have as narrow of a view as OP does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I see similar behavior on Palestinian side as well. Just because its not your loved ones, it doesn't mean you can't feel the pain. You feel it more when people suffering are your own race, religion, nationality, age, gender etc but you can feel it for people on the other side of the conflict or just for random people's suffering. All humans want and deserve protection and prosperity for their families. We shouldn't have to be scared of each other.

There is one good thing about us humans, we can feel pain of other humans. Suffering and fear of it is bad and each one of us knows that, don't have to personally get shot or develop cancer to know what it entails.

May we feel enough to end all injustices we can and find solutions to all disputes we can. If you kill one man, its like you've killed all humanity. Live, let live. Share, bare and care. Life is precious, don't waste it to subdue others, use it to lift others up.

Wow, this was so close to banality Bingo! If you'd thrown in a Kumbaya, you'd have had it.

[Anonymous]

You know a fraction - less than a fraction - about someone else's experience. Why be bothered by this?

[Anonymous]

"We are not ok" means that the news and events are impacting someone deeply. We see a lot of terrible things on the news and most people have become numb to it. However, there are some events that feel very close to home -- it can be a school shooting where the victims are of similar age to our own children, a terrorist attack that feels so random and vile that it puts you on edge (we live in DC after all), or a simple criminal act that has parallels to your own experiences and trauma.

We are not ok means that we can't think or act like we normally do. It doesn't mean you give them a free pass to coast or ignore responsibilities, but it signals that more empathy may be needed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"We are not ok" means that the news and events are impacting someone deeply. We see a lot of terrible things on the news and most people have become numb to it. However, there are some events that feel very close to home -- it can be a school shooting where the victims are of similar age to our own children, a terrorist attack that feels so random and vile that it puts you on edge (we live in DC after all), or a simple criminal act that has parallels to your own experiences and trauma.

We are not ok means that we can't think or act like we normally do. It doesn't mean you give them a free pass to coast or ignore responsibilities, but it signals that more empathy may be needed.

right but.... really?
I feel like it's the privilege of those who have never had anything really terrible happen to them that they get to say 'I am not ok' during a news event that actually does not really impact them personally at ALL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"We are not ok" means that the news and events are impacting someone deeply. We see a lot of terrible things on the news and most people have become numb to it. However, there are some events that feel very close to home -- it can be a school shooting where the victims are of similar age to our own children, a terrorist attack that feels so random and vile that it puts you on edge (we live in DC after all), or a simple criminal act that has parallels to your own experiences and trauma.

We are not ok means that we can't think or act like we normally do. It doesn't mean you give them a free pass to coast or ignore responsibilities, but it signals that more empathy may be needed.

right but.... really?
I feel like it's the privilege of those who have never had anything really terrible happen to them that they get to say 'I am not ok' during a news event that actually does not really impact them personally at ALL.

The people who are directly impacted by the event deserve the most support and empathy sure, but those who feel connected to it don't deserve any empathy at all? Also, why does this bother you so much?

[Anonymous]

Some people close to me have no family in Israel, but they are really upset right now. They aren't broadcasting it on social media, but they are losing sleep and feeling depressed about the violence and loss of innocent lives. I don't think it's a character flaw. On the contrary, I admire their awareness and compassion for people they don't personally know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"We are not ok" means that the news and events are impacting someone deeply. We see a lot of terrible things on the news and most people have become numb to it. However, there are some events that feel very close to home -- it can be a school shooting where the victims are of similar age to our own children, a terrorist attack that feels so random and vile that it puts you on edge (we live in DC after all), or a simple criminal act that has parallels to your own experiences and trauma.

We are not ok means that we can't think or act like we normally do. It doesn't mean you give them a free pass to coast or ignore responsibilities, but it signals that more empathy may be needed.

+1 I don't say "I'm not ok" but the events in Israel have me really upset. I keep thinking about that woman who they stripped, almost certainly gang raped, then paraded her unconscious naked body in a truck while militants sat on her and people spit on her body. Seeing the video is how her mother found out that she'd been kidnapped. She's almost certainly dead but we don't know for sure. Then the other young people who are missing and probably already raped and killed. Their parents have no idea if they're dead or alive.

So no judgment from me for people who use the phrase for this situation.

[Anonymous]

I'm proud of you OP. So brave of you that the murder of hundreds doesn't distract you from building another addition on your house.

[Anonymous]

It depends who is saying it. Are they directly impacted? We are not ok Makes sense.

And people can be directly/indirectly impacted by news even if their loved ones are ok.

It’s not really up to others to judge how impacted people are.

Podcasters I listen to have nephews being called up for immediate service in Israel. Even if you are here in the US, I’d call that being impacted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It depends who is saying it. Are they directly impacted? We are not ok Makes sense.

And people can be directly/indirectly impacted by news even if their loved ones are ok.

It’s not really up to others to judge how impacted people are.

Podcasters I listen to have nephews being called up for immediate service in Israel. Even if you are here in the US, I’d call that being impacted.

There is also fear outside Israel about violence between Muslims and Jews, just as an offshoot of the happenings over there. It has happened before, in all directions.

So, an escalation over there impacts people worldwide.