MIL excluding us from family communications about our kids

[Anonymous]

Stop oversharing with grandma. Occasionally post a pic of your kids with a soccer ball or artwork they've done. No one wants to see more than that. When grandma complains that it's not enough intel, simply ignore her the way she ignores you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP back - I guess DH and I are more introverted and just not the type to openly boast about our kids to the masses. And honestly, I have no issues at all with MIL playing the bragging grandma role, if she just wouldn't purposely exclude us.

NP. If you don't want to send out the information yourself, then contact the parents of one/some of the other grandkids. Make a deal that whenever grandma sends out information about any of the grandkids that you'll each forward the message to each other so that you each get the messages. She probably does the same to the other parents, so you can just fix the problem yourself by collaborating with another set of parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP back - I guess DH and I are more introverted and just not the type to openly boast about our kids to the masses. And honestly, I have no issues at all with MIL playing the bragging grandma role, if she just wouldn't purposely exclude us.

You want all the gushing and accolades. An introvert wouldn't send it out in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP back - I guess DH and I are more introverted and just not the type to openly boast about our kids to the masses. And honestly, I have no issues at all with MIL playing the bragging grandma role, if she just wouldn't purposely exclude us.

NP. If you don't want to send out the information yourself, then contact the parents of one/some of the other grandkids. Make a deal that whenever grandma sends out information about any of the grandkids that you'll each forward the message to each other so that you each get the messages. She probably does the same to the other parents, so you can just fix the problem yourself by collaborating with another set of parents.

OP said there are no other grandkids.

[Anonymous]

Here’s your opportunity to do the Christmas letter 🌲

[Anonymous]

Stop updating her. If she presses, say, “You know, because you exclude us from family messages and share OUR news, excluding us, even though we’ve asked you to include us, we find we don’t have much to share with you.” Big smile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop updating her. If she presses, say, “You know, because you exclude us from family messages and share OUR news, excluding us, even though we’ve asked you to include us, we find we don’t have much to share with you.” Big smile.

This is the right advice. The consequence for her not listening to you is that she loses access to your information. No malice, just the result of a choice she made.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop updating her. If she presses, say, “You know, because you exclude us from family messages and share OUR news, excluding us, even though we’ve asked you to include us, we find we don’t have much to share with you.” Big smile.

This is the right advice. The consequence for her not listening to you is that she loses access to your information. No malice, just the result of a choice she made.

All of this!

[Anonymous]

or maybe just be grateful she is a proud grandparent gushing to her extended family about your kids?

[Anonymous]

Your complaint is totally opposite what I expected when first started to read post.

So you don't want to beg for the spotlight but want MIL to do it for you?

When say, "hey CC me in on the email, if you send it out". , does she say she will and doesn't or does she just not acknowledge you.

[Anonymous]

You're asking for advice about how to get your MIL to change her behavior which you've already tried unsuccessfully to do. The only options here are to change YOUR behavior. Either do the sharing yourself or stop sharing with MIL. If you keep doing the same thing, you'll keep getting the same results.

[Anonymous]

Distribute your own family announcements.

OP back - I guess DH and I are more introverted …I have no issues at all with MIL playing the bragging grandma role, if she just wouldn't purposely exclude us.

You don’t get to decide how other family members make announcements.

Accept this or see a therapist.

[Anonymous]

Is is possible that she’s not including you because she knows you’re introverted and wants to brag about her grandkids (and I agree that nobody really cares) without embarrassing you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is is possible that she’s not including you because she knows you’re introverted and wants to brag about her grandkids (and I agree that nobody really cares) without embarrassing you?

Not buying this as MIL repeatedly refused to include OP and DH after being asked to.

[Anonymous]

It seems you don’t really know what you want. Either you care about your kids getting accolades or you dont