Guy I was dating was married and wife’s pregnant

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You assumed he was divorced or he told you he was divorced?

Who knocked up his wife?

It’s not unreasonable to assume that a guy who asks you out is single.

Trust but verify.

No ring?

I've been married for 20 years, but the very first place I'd run is social media, and if he's got no SM, then to one of those sites that verifies who you're related to and ages & previous addresses... then I'd look all of them all up on social media just to be sure.

Just taking someone on their word sounds wilfully ignorant these days.

[Anonymous]

Something like that happened to me except I ran into them at a farm festival I took my nephew to. He was there with his pregnant wife and 2 year old. He had said he was completely single, not even that he was divorced. I was a naive 22 year old who missed the signs he was hiding something and kind of brushed off all the red flags because he love bombed me.

[Anonymous]

I wonder if the wife's pregnancy is a bandaid baby?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Casually dating? Doesn’t sound casual.

Oh, "casual dating" is now defined as "I barely know this person but am having sex with him."

Yup, welcome to modern relationships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You assumed he was divorced or he told you he was divorced?

Who knocked up his wife?

It’s not unreasonable to assume that a guy who asks you out is single.

Trust but verify.

No ring?

Married and never owned or worn a ring.

+1 I did not wear a ring while married. Neither did my ex. I know many married
people who don’t wear rings. You can’t rely on that anymore as an indicator. I am 46.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You assumed he was divorced or he told you he was divorced?

Who knocked up his wife?

It’s not unreasonable to assume that a guy who asks you out is single.

Trust but verify.

No ring?

I've been married for 20 years, but the very first place I'd run is social media, and if he's got no SM, then to one of those sites that verifies who you're related to and ages & previous addresses... then I'd look all of them all up on social media just to be sure.

Just taking someone on their word sounds wilfully ignorant these days.

You realize a lot of people don’t have social media profiles, right? Many men don’t. My brother does not. My ex h does not. Two men I dated did not. People seem really out of touch with the realities of dating now. Clearly if married for 20 years you don’t know. Your method is hardly foolproof.

[Anonymous]

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Something like that happened to me except I ran into them at a farm festival I took my nephew to. He was there with his pregnant wife and 2 year old. He had said he was completely single, not even that he was divorced. I was a naive 22 year old who missed the signs he was hiding something and kind of brushed off all the red flags because he love bombed me.

This kind of happened to me.

Met a guy on the train (commuting to a city). He tracked me down at work (by phone) later that morning, based in clues from our conversation. It seemed romantic and flattering . We made a date to have dinner. That night, I just got a sense (based on his age and position in life, that he might be married with kids). So I asked and he admitted he was. I told him I would not see him again.

Months later, I ran into him and his family out to dinner at a nice restaurant. She was stunning. I felt so sorry for her.

(He called me once more, when she had left town with the kids. I turned him down and said, “she should chain you in the yard when she goes away.”)

What a creep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Something like that happened to me except I ran into them at a farm festival I took my nephew to. He was there with his pregnant wife and 2 year old. He had said he was completely single, not even that he was divorced. I was a naive 22 year old who missed the signs he was hiding something and kind of brushed off all the red flags because he love bombed me.

This kind of happened to me.

Met a guy on the train (commuting to a city). He tracked me down at work (by phone) later that morning, based in clues from our conversation. It seemed romantic and flattering . We made a date to have dinner. That night, I just got a sense (based on his age and position in life, that he might be married with kids). So I asked and he admitted he was. I told him I would not see him again.

Months later, I ran into him and his family out to dinner at a nice restaurant. She was stunning. I felt so sorry for her.

(He called me once more, when she had left town with the kids. I turned him down and said, “she should chain you in the yard when she goes away.”)

What a creep.

I would be sort of alarmed by his stalkery behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ask this question next time:

“Does anyone else think they are in a relationship with you?”

Not “are you in a relationship with anyone?”

See the difference?

It doesn’t matter. Why would a man answer either of these questions truthfully. You’re delusional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Something like that happened to me except I ran into them at a farm festival I took my nephew to. He was there with his pregnant wife and 2 year old. He had said he was completely single, not even that he was divorced. I was a naive 22 year old who missed the signs he was hiding something and kind of brushed off all the red flags because he love bombed me.

This kind of happened to me.

Met a guy on the train (commuting to a city). He tracked me down at work (by phone) later that morning, based in clues from our conversation. It seemed romantic and flattering . We made a date to have dinner. That night, I just got a sense (based on his age and position in life, that he might be married with kids). So I asked and he admitted he was. I told him I would not see him again.

Months later, I ran into him and his family out to dinner at a nice restaurant. She was stunning. I felt so sorry for her.

(He called me once more, when she had left town with the kids. I turned him down and said, “she should chain you in the yard when she goes away.”)

What a creep.

I would be sort of alarmed by his stalkery behavior.

This was pre-smart phones . In those days you would meet people sometimes out and about. Sort of like a rom com (he remembered that I said I worked for a hospital and put two and two together.) We had introduced ourselves at the end if our hour commute in, probably because we knew we might run into each other again, given that we traveled into the city each day from the same town in CT

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Something like that happened to me except I ran into them at a farm festival I took my nephew to. He was there with his pregnant wife and 2 year old. He had said he was completely single, not even that he was divorced. I was a naive 22 year old who missed the signs he was hiding something and kind of brushed off all the red flags because he love bombed me.

This kind of happened to me.

Met a guy on the train (commuting to a city). He tracked me down at work (by phone) later that morning, based in clues from our conversation. It seemed romantic and flattering . We made a date to have dinner. That night, I just got a sense (based on his age and position in life, that he might be married with kids). So I asked and he admitted he was. I told him I would not see him again.

Months later, I ran into him and his family out to dinner at a nice restaurant. She was stunning. I felt so sorry for her.

(He called me once more, when she had left town with the kids. I turned him down and said, “she should chain you in the yard when she goes away.”)

What a creep.

I would be sort of alarmed by his stalkery behavior.

This was pre-smart phones . In those days you would meet people sometimes out and about. Sort of like a rom com (he remembered that I said I worked for a hospital and put two and two together.) We had introduced ourselves at the end if our hour commute in, probably because we knew we might run into each other again, given that we traveled into the city each day from the same town in CT

Okay, I would still be creeped out by that. These days, I think a lot less of people being able to track me down or figure out who I am. What you are describing is creepy. Not romantic and flattering. If you felt that way about it, fine, but consider that the initial stalking behavior is not actually different than him approaching you when his wife was away.

[Anonymous]

This is why casual dating is a bad idea.

[Anonymous]

Ask her if her DH is the father of her baby? 😈

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have known this person for years and just “assumed” he was divorced?! Why hadn’t you had talks with him about his past?

She said she assumed he'd been divorced for years. Didn't actually say how long she was seeing him.

I want to know how OP responded to the text.