Asking My In-Laws to Leave Dog at Home When They Come for Birth

[Anonymous]

Tell them you don’t feel comfortable to have the dog in the house with all that is going on, and you understand if that means they are no longer willing to come and help out. They can then make whatever decision they want or need to make.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you planning to pay for the 2 weeks boarding?

This isn’t necessary. The dog is a responsibility that the ILs took on willingly. They can’t expect to foist the expense and inconvenience on everyone else.

IL's usually bring their dog and it's fine, and OP takes her dog to the IL's. If anyone is foisting an expense on someone, it's OP.

Op would you be ok with the dog for the time frame originally planned on? Is it possible you're more bothered that they are staying longer to do other things?

[Anonymous]

Did they ask if it was OK to stay longer?

[Anonymous]

The primary thing here is the baby coming home and Opie and her husband having a good environment in which to do that. So, even if the dog calms on other times, if OP does not want the extra chaos another dog will bring, then that’s reasonable to request. If the in-laws get upset about that, then they are not putting OP, her husband, and the baby first, in which case maybe they shouldn’t visit at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds totally reasonable. But I’d probably couch it as you feeling like it’s just too much, rather than telling them you have issues with their dog. Unless the dog won’t be welcome back ever, then I’d be honest that the dog won’t be welcome in the future.

I agree with this - especially if you want to continue bringing your dog when you visit them. Just say it’s this once and only because you are already feeling overwhelmed with the new baby coming.

[Anonymous]

This sounds like a weird “stick it to them” thing in response to you being annoyed that their free help can benefit both parties, which actually sounds like a great thing. Hormones raging, op?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: They are getting something in return by not having to find somewhere else to stay while their house is being worked on. They also have a good place to board their dog that they ha e used for years. My son is in school so it's not like we're asking for constant help. We need someone to be with him while we're at the hospital.

I am not a dog person, and I am not sure I would deal with dogs as I don't like them.

That said, I feel like you're a bit ungrateful. I don't see anything wrong with them having other plans while they are at your house. Seriously, that might be nice to get them out of your hair. Do you really want them staring at you the entire time?

Also, they might have scheduled house renovation to coincide with being at your place. That's their business, and doesn't take away the fact that they are there to help. You husband should talk some sense into you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like a weird “stick it to them” thing in response to you being annoyed that their free help can benefit both parties, which actually sounds like a great thing. Hormones raging, op?

Not wanting an annoying dog around for *two weeks* right before and right after one gives birth is not unreasonable, or “sticking it” to anyone. You sound like an annoying dog owner who thinks everyone loves your dog all the time.

-Dog owner who boards my dog when needed so as not to be a total nuisance to hosts

[Anonymous]

I think it's a reasonable ask if you don't want too much commotion during this period. Otherwise, I think it's unreasonable to think you can bring your dog to their place but not vice versa unless their dog is incredibly misbehaved.

[Anonymous]

Be careful. I've found with family and dogs, it's tit for tat - if I can't bring my dog to your house, then you can't bring your dog to my house. You have a history of everyone bringing their dogs when they visit each other. Are you ok with boarding your dog in future when you visit them? The ILs probably think they are doing you a favor, even though there are things in it for them, so this request might not go over well.

That said, if the dog is going to be loud and aggravate your dog (who is going through changes with a new baby at home) or stress you over the top, you are within your rights to ask that it get boarded. It's ok to state your concerns that you appreciate their help and you love the dog and normally you'd be fine with it coming, but 2 weeks of visiting might be too much for your dog and you, given that this will be an unusually stressful time for your family and everyone needs to acclimate to a new normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Be careful. I've found with family and dogs, it's tit for tat - if I can't bring my dog to your house, then you can't bring your dog to my house. You have a history of everyone bringing their dogs when they visit each other. Are you ok with boarding your dog in future when you visit them? The ILs probably think they are doing you a favor, even though there are things in it for them, so this request might not go over well.

That said, if the dog is going to be loud and aggravate your dog (who is going through changes with a new baby at home) or stress you over the top, you are within your rights to ask that it get boarded. It's ok to state your concerns that you appreciate their help and you love the dog and normally you'd be fine with it coming, but 2 weeks of visiting might be too much for your dog and you, given that this will be an unusually stressful time for your family and everyone needs to acclimate to a new normal.

Dog owners are so annoying. BOARD YOUR DAMN DOGS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like a weird “stick it to them” thing in response to you being annoyed that their free help can benefit both parties, which actually sounds like a great thing. Hormones raging, op?

Not wanting an annoying dog around for *two weeks* right before and right after one gives birth is not unreasonable, or “sticking it” to anyone. You sound like an annoying dog owner who thinks everyone loves your dog all the time.

-Dog owner who boards my dog when needed so as not to be a total nuisance to hosts

If I was offered round the clock free help with a newborn for two weeks, I’d let them bring whatever they want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like a weird “stick it to them” thing in response to you being annoyed that their free help can benefit both parties, which actually sounds like a great thing. Hormones raging, op?

Not wanting an annoying dog around for *two weeks* right before and right after one gives birth is not unreasonable, or “sticking it” to anyone. You sound like an annoying dog owner who thinks everyone loves your dog all the time.

-Dog owner who boards my dog when needed so as not to be a total nuisance to hosts

If I was offered round the clock free help with a newborn for two weeks, I’d let them bring whatever they want.

“Help” that extends their stay significantly because it is convenient and brings an annoying dog with them can stay home. That’s not “help,” that’s a nuisance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like a weird “stick it to them” thing in response to you being annoyed that their free help can benefit both parties, which actually sounds like a great thing. Hormones raging, op?

Not wanting an annoying dog around for *two weeks* right before and right after one gives birth is not unreasonable, or “sticking it” to anyone. You sound like an annoying dog owner who thinks everyone loves your dog all the time.

-Dog owner who boards my dog when needed so as not to be a total nuisance to hosts

If I was offered round the clock free help with a newborn for two weeks, I’d let them bring whatever they want.

OP here: hahahahaha! I wish it would be around the clock help with a newborn. Really they will only help with watching older kiddo while we're at the hospital and maybe doing pick up/drop off some days for older kid. I love my in-laws, but they are not come to your house and help with everything grandparents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like a weird “stick it to them” thing in response to you being annoyed that their free help can benefit both parties, which actually sounds like a great thing. Hormones raging, op?

Not wanting an annoying dog around for *two weeks* right before and right after one gives birth is not unreasonable, or “sticking it” to anyone. You sound like an annoying dog owner who thinks everyone loves your dog all the time.

-Dog owner who boards my dog when needed so as not to be a total nuisance to hosts

If I was offered round the clock free help with a newborn for two weeks, I’d let them bring whatever they want.

“Help” that extends their stay significantly because it is convenient and brings an annoying dog with them can stay home. That’s not “help,” that’s a nuisance.

Then they can simply say "thanks, but no thanks." What is Plan B for going to the hospital for delivery? Who will watch the other child and dog?